B's Dance

Tonight was B's first School Dance.

She's been excited about it for weeks and we are going all out. Sweet n Sassy did her hair and it looked amazing. Here's some shots of my girl!

Since the Dance was her Fall Dance they could dress up. She was "Little Red Riding Hood".

But she loved her hair and makeup so much she didn't even wear her hood and I can't blame her! 

This is the back of her hair. They did a great job and she loved every second of being pampered.  



I was really very proud of myself. I tend to not let B have my freedom so initially I was going to chaperon the dance. But I realized in my attempts to "protect" B I tend to nag. Like when she dances or gets a little wild I'm quick to reign her in. Since I know my tendency is to try and save her (sometimes from herself) and in that I keep her from just being herself and having a good time I thought I would send James as my Proxy. Daddy is good at giving her more leeway without letting things get crazy. But then I started to think about it...

My kid's so sheltered. This is a dance at the school. The school specializes in dealing with kids who are unique. These are all her teachers and they know her pretty well since they are around her almost as much as I am. Every other parent was staying at the dance so there was no lack of supervision. She knows the emergency numbers. She should be fine. So I decided to just drop her off.

Ok, so I walked her in and spoke to the principal first (baby steps) but once we walkedthrough the doors and she heard the Cha Cha Slide song playing she was off and in the middle of the dance floor without a kiss goodbye.

Of course I snapped some photos but I let her go. As I went to leave and I turned to give her one last look I was her jumping around, dancing crazy and making a spectacle of herself. Every instinct I had was to run up to her and tell her to bring it down a few notches before the other kids noticed her wild flailing but I stopped myself. It only took a moment to see that the other kids barely noticed and those who did got their boogy on right along with her. The wilder she got the wilder they got and as the booty shaking grew so did the smiles. She was grinning ear to ear and so were the rest of the kids.

She wasn't being mocked, or made fun of. She was just very B... dancing like she always does, off beat without a care in the world. No worries of being judged because in her own mind she's a star. It's just how she is. She doesn't think, she just acts. She gets a notion and goes with it and that was what she was doing... only without me there to stop her. I was letting go and giving her a chance to let it go. I wasn't letting my fears ruin her fun and it was hard to be honest.

As she danced she didn't think about steps or what anyone thought. She was just having fun and if others joined her great... if not... great. She was happy and even though I was still worried I walked out of the room smiling and a little jealous because I can't just dance like that.

No matter what B deals with in her life and with the things she has to overcome she approaches it with a song in her head and she just dances. Without worry or care and even though that can sometimes cause problems it often gives her a freedom that I don't think most people ever really feel.

When I picker her up she was glowing. She had a an amazing time and danced non-stop. Sure she probably danced off beat and maybe she looked crazy to anyone who didn't see just how beautiful her dancing is but who cares? Not her.

I wish we all could dance like B.

Do clothes make the Mom?

I'm not a fashionista or anything like that. Honestly shopping sometimes gives me panic attacks. I'm usually a jeans and t-shirt kinda gal. There's a reason for it...

Aside from the face that for no reason at all I always feel a smidgen of guilt when buying things for myself... There are few things as stressful as trying to wiggle into a pair of skinny jeans that are about 2 sizes too small for you in every place on your lower half except your flat rear end, while trying to tuck your muffin top into the waistband as your toddler climbs under the dressing room door giving the lady next to you a heart attack. Sure, she says my kid's cute and it's "ok" but I know she's thinking my child should be on a leash. And if there is a big sale going on... EVEN WORSE. So I don't usually shop...

But every so often my husband gets me a pair of ridiculously fabulous shoes that are too outstanding to go unworn. Obviously with my aversion to shopping this can present a problem when constructing an outfit. So I must shop.

I go early and don't usually try anything on in store (for the previously stated reasons) and I can actually deal very well with the experience on occasion. And even though often the process of shopping in and of itself can suck... getting new clothes makes me fell all warm and gooey inside. And I am a sucker for a deal.

So when hubby bought me this amazing pair of shoes in a half size too small I had to exchange them. But when I did they were on sale so I got a credit. Now it seemed a waste not to use the credit. In fact since the shoes were a gift it would be down right rude not to get the full value out of the gift right? (At least that's what I told myself.) So I bought another pair of shoes equally as fantastic. But now what the hell would I wear them with... my "mommy clothes"? You know, the "comfy so they can't possibly look good" jeans and a shirt that has some long ago set stains that could be coffee or poop. (I'm hoping for coffee.) Oh, or maybe the sweats that I think make me look like I just came from the gym (except my flabby gut proves that's not the case and I was just too lazy deal with buttons).

So I shopped. And for a person who generally doesn't like shopping, once I get going I am iinsatiable. And I'm a good shopper too. I coupon, have membership cards that give discounts and cash back rewards, email subscriptions with special offers... you name it. So I on this last trip I bought over $200 in clothes for under $10... and also got $80 in rewards cash to use next month. Good deal right?

And they are all trendy and I look smoking hot in them! So I've been dressing up. Even when I'm going to story time at the library. Or taking the kids to dance. I am in 5 inch heels, skinny jeans and some blouse that is baggy enough to hide what my spanx is struggling to contain but fashionable enough to not look like that's what I'm going for. Sure... it's kind of false advertising but hubby knows what lies under the skinny jeans, control top panties and body shaping tanks... and he doesn't care! He thinks I ohot in the new duds (even though he says he prefers me without... or anything).

And even though I love the fanfare he's putting on each day when he sees me in these slutty shoes and skin tight jeans I love how I feel in them. I feel hot! I am taking more time doing my hair and makeup. Hell, I'm even considering shaving above the knee! I feel sexy and attractive and sometimes a little insecure when I notice a teen wearing a similar outfit that I have on while dragging my toddler around but I get over it.

Do clothes make the mom? No, not really. I am just as good (or bad) a mom no matter what I wear. But I will say that Clothes Make the MILF (even if it's in my own mind).

The New Site

So my new site is up and running and honestly is just taking off. Tampa Bay Moms Group is a huge success. But I'm starting to get overwhelmed. I LOVE the site but it has totally taken me away from my blog and honestly almost everything else I do.

I am getting so bogged down with everything, I have been staying up 4 hours later then I normally do just to get things done and I am honestly feeling kind of alone... which is ironic since the site is a "social site" for moms. I am so glad everyone gets to go and enjoy it but it's is a huge project.

Thankfully the feedback has been great. We have had giveaways and requests for advertising and things are really taking off! So if it seems like I am ignoring my blog... Well, it's because I am. I don't want too but I am just up to my ears in alligators right now and trying to get into a routine and find some balance.

Molded frame

Molded Resin cubes made this frame.

Tampa Bay Moms Group

You know, it's not always easy being a mom but it is always amazing.

I literally get way more enjoyment out of watching my goofy toddler sing and dance then I do out of any show on tv. And few things get me to smile the way I do when B gives me a hug. And nothing makes me as proud as watching my sons football team loose. Sure, I'd rather they win but I know that he always tries his best and what more can you ask for.

I love being a mom. I don't have a typical "job" but being a mom is more then that. It's a labor of love. It's an daily testament to the absolute power your kids have over you emotionally. Moms are just amazing creatures. They give life, they cultivate dreams, they encourage, care, love and more.

And because I love being a mom and have such an overwhelming respect for all moms who are out there doing their best.... I am the official sponsor of the newest and most amazing social site for moms I have ever seen... www.tampabaymomsgroup.com!

Ok, so me and some friends created the site... but that doesn't mean I'm not telling the truth. It is amazing. It was designed by moms for moms and every member is a part of it. In just 2 weeks the site is consistently receiving over a thousand page views each day and we have multiple new members joining daily as well.

The site was created to be a sort of facebook/social site for moms in our area but already other moms have found it and are enjoying the discussions and all the site has to offer. So I hope you take the time to check it out also.

I will still be blogging... but now that you know about the site you know why my blog posts have been a bit fewer. Now that the site is up and running that will be changing and both blog and Tampa Bay Moms Group will be growing. I hope you tag along for the ride!

Who taught me to be a mother?

I'll make this short because I have meatballs in the oven and don't want them to burn (and not that is not some "dirty sex code" though it sounds like it could be).

Basically my mom came over for the day today. I've had a bad couple days but am doing my best to make it through this week but this event poses a potential risk to my "can do attitude". This is only an event because she almost never does visit. She doesn't live far. Only about 45 minutes away and it's not that she's working right now. She just doesn't make it this way often for whatever reasons.

I look at my moms visits with cautious optimism. I always hope we'll spend hours laughing and giggling and sharing stories like those moms on TV but since we never did that when I was younger I shouldn't expect it now. Don't get me wrong... I love my mom. I love her a lot but I know exactly what a visit with her entails.

I am sure during the visit all of my shortcoming as a parent, wife and person in general will be addressed in a some way. All the things I do wrong will be pointed out, sometimes repeatedly and in different ways. I will be the victim of scrutiny and for what? Nothing really. I just can't bring myself to change or seek the approval of a person who even if I changed the very fiber of my being and became perfect just to please would find a flaw in my perfection.

Lucky for me I'm no where near perfect. And though  insults (however sly and sneakily injected) do hurt I ultimately care little for what anyone thinks of me. I know my moms flaws. I know every one of them and was subjected to them daily for years and though now I only get small doses of them I still see them on occasion, however I don't feel the need to point them out. Why should I?

I don't feel better by making anyone feel bad even if it's done on accident. And I'm sure somewhere deep down she looks at her comments and criticisms as "tough love" or as attempts to "help improve me".  I know that on some psychological level it's just a way for her to receive some sort of validation or to overcome some trauma of long ago.

But I do get a mild dose of amusement when my mom asks repeatedly, "Who taught you to be a mother?!?" and I get to reply "No one".

No wonder she's rarely sick!

I am doing my best to give B more responsibilities. Sometimes this means giving her a task (like loading the dishwasher) that she may not do very well in which case I will usually do it over or do it over with her. I figure if I don't have her do it I'd have to do it myself anyway and at least it's teaching her some responsibility and helps with her remembering steps, etc.

So one of B's responsibilities is making her own lunch the night before school. Let me digress for a moment, her school lunches are now $3.50 and with breakfast no longer being free and clocking in at $2.50 her school meals are at least $6.00 a day! Do the math, it adds up. So with me couponing and the deals you get especially on snacks she is taking her lunch.

Now back to the story, B is making her lunches. She can take a tupperware of left overs from last nights dinner, a sandwich, whatever. It's up to her. But since I haven't been cooking anything with leftovers I figured she was hamsandwiching it up.

Yesterday after she packed her lunch and went to sleep I decided to check up on the contents of her lunch. I hadn't looked at what she was packing and since groceries are getting low because I haven't found time to get to the store in over a week I wanted to be sure this kid wasn't packing a sandwich, string cheese and ten different types of candy. I look in her bag and... there's no sandwich.

I'm not sure if she forgot or what so I figured I'll be nice and just make one for her. I grab the bread and OH MY GOD! It's hairy!!! Like growing a fu mancho on the butt of the loaf. So gross!

And then I thought about it and realized I couldn't remember the last time I bought bread because every time I made my grocery list I saw the bread sitting there and didn't add it. God only knows how long it sat there and I can't be sure of when B decided to stop making a lunch sandwich but I would wager the bread has been growing this fungus for at least a week... AT LEAST!

Now not to sound mean but B isn't the most observant child so I she very well may have been eating this crap. Add to that the time I found out she was not washing out her sandwich container but just reusing it (and yes, I found mold or something yucky and greenish-gray in there too) it makes sense to think that she has been dosing herself with some type of penicillin or something because this kid almost never gets sick!

Unfortunately I am going to have to allow her to catch some kind of bacterial funk if need be because I have thrown out the hairy loaf of bread and will be paying a bit more attention to the food she is using in her lunches and self prepared meals... and of course the containers she puts them in. Sure, my medical bills may go up... but at least the gag factor in my house will go down.