Mom Squad: Humane Society Officer kitten shooting

I was on Channel 10 for the Mom Squad discussing a pretty sad incident.

The story was on the Huffington Post: Bob Accorti, Police Officer, Shoots Five Feral Kittens In Ohio

Basically a family of feral cats were in a families yard. The husband could not remove the aggressive kittens (ages about 7 months) so they called to have the animals removed. When a humane animal officer came out he said the shelters were full and the kittens would be going to "kitty heaven". He then proceeded to shoot the kittens... as the mom and her 4 children ranging in age from 5 months to 7 years watched from inside the house. Some stories say the family was outside and when the firing started the mom took her kids inside when it began. The officer was not disciplined because "weapons are an acceptable form of euthanasia" and "his actions were appropriate" and "they decided not to impose any disciplinary measures for the incident".  I am giving my opinion based on what I have read and realize maybe it is inaccurate but for the sake of argument let's say it's right.

The big story is the officers method of euthanizing the animals. Not only does it wreak of animal cruelty, the fact that children were watching this shows a blatant lack of judgment... not to mention a disregard of safety procedures. And the phrase excessive force keeps running through my head. Firing a weapon in a residential neighborhood? In a families yard? Where do you start. But that wasn't my only issue.

When I discussed the topic on the Moms Squad Segment called Mom Squad: Humane Society Officer kitten shooting I was pretty shocked after reading the articles, watching videos on this I never once found anyone saying "Why were the kids watching this transpire?".
I mean... feral cats, armed officer... I'm no rocket scientist but it sounds like a recipe for disaster to me. Sure the best case scenario would be for the officer to somehow capture the cats in a nonthreatening way and take them somewhere else to be put down (though I am sure they could have found a place for them that did not include being destroyed). But let's be real. There is a much higher chance of the cats attacking the officer or him hurting the animals in order to capture them. Then throw in that he drew a weapon and viola! Media Fodder!

Let's say the mom did not know that the officer would be using such excessive force to "put the cats downs".  Let's say that it all happened so fast, suddenly he drew and started shooting... even if that is the case the kids should not have been present! Nor should the officer discharged his weapon in front of civilians when his life or personal safety was not in danger!

But when I pointed out that no one was asking why the mom was letting her kids watch this I got a message "So the MOTHER was at fault because her kids were watching? Sure, that's just like blaming the victim".

Yes, it is blaming the victim because guess what? SOMETIMES THE VICTIM IS TO BLAME!

Maybe in this case the mom is not entirely at fault but when you're a mom you have to take responsibility. I don't think being the "victim" should give you immunity.

As a mom  you have to be willing to take the blame. You made a bad decision. You may want to cry foul and rally for the officer to be punished (and yes, he should be punished) but you need to step up and say "Yes, I may not have known what was going to happen but I should have taken precautions anyway". It's was a good mother does. She accepts responsibility for her actions. She sets the example for her kids. And maybe this mom is doing that and it's just not in the news.

But for some random person to get worked up because I want to "blame the victim" is ignorant at best. Yet this may also be the exact type of person who files suit against a coffee shop for having their coffee burn them just because they didn't have the foresight to wait for it to cool before drinking.
It reminds me of this clip that has been circulating the Internet for a while.
In it a pregnant woman stands smoking as she worries what effect the sound of a jackhammer will have on her unborn child.

 

I wonder if in the sad event the baby was born prematurely with underdeveloped lungs or other complications if she tried to sue the construction company? Or maybe she went after the tobacco companies? Or perhaps she took the blame, felt the guilt and started to do right for her child.

 

I'll never understand it. It's like a game of hot potato where blame is the potato and everyone in the world (myself included) wants to join in and pass it around hoping it will stick to the person of our choice when often the blame should be spread out among more than just one person.

 

But that's also the funny thing with blame. Though many people deserve it, few will accept it. Most people just pass it along. While there are those who take it, even when they shouldn't and wallow in it. If everyone just accepted responsibility for their own actions we cold stop passing the blame and focus on fixing the problem.

 

Rather than picketing the police department to punish this officer, start a campaign to eliminate the use of weapons on animals by human officers. Wouldn't that be a more productive use of everyones time and efforts?

 



Will my body ever be the same after pregnancy?

This was a question asked to me on Daytime.

I believe my response was "It depends on how you feel about liposuction and plastic surgery".

But all kidding aside this is a very popular question.

It's asked by moms who are are preparing to have a baby, by moms who have their little bun stretching their oven into a shape they never would have thought possible and by moms who have had one or more kids and still can't find the body they lost before having a baby.

Sometimes your body snaps back. Sometimes it snaps back from your first pregnancy and after the second it doesn't. And there are times when it doesn't go back.

You can google and look for explanations and solutions but this is what I know...

Every woman, every body and every pregnancy is unique. Having a baby is magical and sometimes a little traumatic for the body and not everyone can get back to their pre-baby shape.

Some moms can without trying, some can with a good amount of work and then some spend the rest of their lives wearing maternity jeans long after their kids have grown up.

To get back to your original shape and figure you have to be willing to work at it. But I think most importantly you have to be willing to accept the fact that you may not get there... and that's ok.

You made a baby! You have extra skin and maybe some fat and probably more than a few stretchmarks because you used your body to create a life! You made an entire person. That alone is amazing. We have pressure to be this perfect  mom and yet we add to it the pressure of appearances.

We feel so much pressure as women to look good, be thin and sexy but that's not what is important. It's not about being "skinny". Skinny isn't always healthy. It's not about being thin. Thin doesn't mean fit. And it sure as hell isn't about being sexy because sexiness is in how you feel and how you carry yourself. Sexy is a state of mind if you ask me.

So eat right, be active and get HEALTHY. Not only will you being doing what's best for you but you will also be doing what's best for your child. You will be insuring that you are around for them as long as you can by implementing a healthy lifestyle and best of all... you will be setting a good example for your kids.

It is a fact that kids who watch their parents display healthy eating habits such as choosing fruits and healthy snacks over prepackaged calorie filled snacks will often opt for healthy options themselves.

It is a fact that kids who exercise with their parents will be more active and healthy themselves. You don't have to take a trip to the gym. Play! Chasing your kid around is a great work out. Go outside, play, take a walk, bike, run, even wrestling and having a tickle fight gets you and your kid moving together.

I'm not the best physical specimen. In fact I love to eat (and I have the belly to prove it). I can add bacon and ranch dressing to just about anything. But I do yoga daily and try to replace some ingredients with healthy alternatives. But I'm doing it to be a little healthier myself and to help my kids see that replacing white bread with whole grain bread is simple and easy. Now we may add a side of chips to our sandwich but still... it's all about the little steps and doing the work to get you to where you want to be.

But really... be happy with you. It is important to teach your kids by example that being confident is a decision they have to make just like being healthy is.

I'm a writer.

I'm not a "blogger".

I'm a writer. I've writen tons of short stories and done freelance work. I love to write.

But this blog is different. I'm not looking at it as a blog. I'm looking at it as a tool for my writing and my book. Let me explain...

See, I started www.tampabaymomsgroup.com (TBMG) to help myself and other moms connect.

I'm a mom to three amazing kids. But I didn't know it all (and I still don't). I really just wanted a place where I could go to get, and when possible give, advice. 

So I created TBMG and used my mommy friends as a sounding board for the ideas and features for it. With the help of my founding members TBMG was born and in the last few years has grown to be the largest social forum of it's kind in Tampa Bay.

So as the site grew so did our "fan base" and I began to get emails from fans, not just in Tampa Bay but from all over the US. Some were personal. So personal they didn't want to post on the site (even though they could remain relatively anonymous). I was being asked for parenting advice. Me! The person who created a site so she could get advice and support.

After a while the media picked up on the site. Thanks to TBMG I have been featured on Daytime   WFLA where I give Advice for Moms by Moms and been asked to join WTSP Channel 10's Mom Squad  where I along with two other moms give a moms opinion on a wide range of topics.

I have been so blessed to be able to share what I know and even more blessed to continue to learn.

My advice and opinions may not always be right. They often are humorous and a little off the wall. In fact sometimes they may be down right scary. But they are mine.

And I hope that people take this blog just as that. A fun and entertaining and dare I hope... informative take on parenting and things that come up in the life of a mom or just a moms eye view of different topics. Oh and if you learn something or want to teach me a thing or two, even better.

School Supply Insanity

My son goes to a charter school and when I got his supply list I was honestly sick to my stomach.

It seems every year the supply lists for school get worse and worse. And my sons school this year is outrageous!!!

And as if the overall amount of stuff they want isn't enough... they are extremely brand and volume specific!!!

Throw in the fact that we still have to buy his textbooks, workbooks, reading books, project supplies as they approach those subjects and lessons throughout the year... and the school wants a "highly encouraged $500 donation". Plus of course book bag, uniforms and I'm about ready to scream.


With using coupons and going to 4 different stores we clocked in just under $190.00.

Here is the list for the items to bring on the first day of 6th grade for the 2012-2013 year:

• 1 4oz Elmer's washable Gel school glue
• 4 small Elmer's washable glue sticks (approx 1/4oz)
• 1 roll of Scotch tape with plastic dispenser
• 1 roll of masking tape (1" width)
• 1 pair of Student-sized Fiskars or Wescott scissors (age 12+)
• 1 family-sized (rectangular) box of Kleenex tissues
• 6 rolls of Bounty paper towels
• 3 containers of Clorox Wipes (35ct)
• 1 8oz bottle of Dial antibacterial liquid hand soap
• 1 12oz Lysol disinfecting spray (any scent)
• 1 Glade Scented oil Plu-Ins refill (any scent)
• 3 dozen #2 Ticonderoga pencils
• 1 pencil sharpener with cover to catch shavings
• 1 Papermate "Pink Pearl" eraser (2"x3/4")
• 1 dz Bic Blue pens
• 1 dz Bic Black pens
• 1 dz Bic Red pens
• 1 wooden ruler
• 1 compass
• 1 protractor w/ angle guide
• 1 pkg of Daisy paper plates (at least 50ct)
• 1 pkg of napkins (at least 250 ct)
• 1 pkg of assorted plastic utensils (forks, knives and spoons at least 24 ct)
• 1 pkg of 3x5 lined white index cards (100ct)
• 1 pkg of 4x6 lined white index cards (100ct)
• 1 pack of Crayola colored pencils (24ct)
• 2 yellow highlighters
• 2 black Sharpie markers
• 12 Thick Expo dry erase markers (low order) (assorted colors)
• 1 Expo dry erase eraser
• 1 8oz bottle of Expo dry erase cleaner
• 1 Vis a Vis overhead transparency marker
• 1 box of gallon-size Ziploc bags
• 1 pack of washable, thin "Classic Colors" Crayola markers
• 1 pack of washable, thick "classic Colors" Crayola markers
• 10 heavy duty page protectors
• 6 large White posterboards
• 1 large White foamboard
• 3 pkgs of Mead wide ruled notebook paper (150 sheets)
• 1 composition book -- not spiral (approc 9 3/4'x" 1/2", 100 sheets, black & white cover only)
• 1 dz medium binder clips (1 1/4")
• 1 dz large binder clips (2")
• 1 box of small (regular size) paperclips (100ct)
• 1 box of jumbo (large size) paperclips (100ct)
• 1 box of standard staples 1/4", 5000ct)
• 1 bottle of Wite-Out
• 1 1-subject spiral notebook (any color)
• 3 4oz pkgs of White Crayola Model Magic
• 1 pack of construction paper (9":x12", at least 50 sheets, assorted colors)
• 1 heavy-duty, white binder with clear overlay (3" size)
• 1 ser of 5ct tabbed dividers
• 1 pkg of graph paper with binder holes (8 1/2"x11", 50ct)
• 1 box of medium size, non-latex, powder free gloves (100ct)
• 2 blue folders with 3 prongs and 2 pockets (plastic/poly)
• 2 yellow folders with 3 prongs and 2 pockets (plastic/poly)
• 2 red folders with 3 prongs and 2 pockets (plastic/poly)
• 2 green folders with 3 prongs and 2 pockets (plastic/poly)
• 2 purple folders with 3 prongs and 2 pockets (plastic/poly)
• 1 roll of Bounty paper towels (for the clinic)

Again, this is just what he needs to bring on the first day and doesn't include his textbooks and other stuff!

I realize every child is entitled to a free education but they also have to have the supplies to work... this is just excessive! Brand specific for #2 pencils?

I think if they plan to be this specific they should buy the items themselves and get a bulk discount and have each family pay a set amount. But then again it could work out worse since we wouldn't have coupons or be able to comparison shop.

I just can't help but think... this is too much. It's insane!

I don't like Facebook.

I don't like facebook. I don't get Facebook. I mean I get it. It's a social networking site, yadda, yadda, yadda. I just don't get how wrapped up in it people get. And it usually annoys me.

I have an account. I use it daily. I just don't like it. I feel almost peer pressured into using it.

I don't want to be the only one of my friends who doesn't get invited to things because all events are set up on facebook and I can't count on anyone actually sending an invitation or calling me.

I don't want to have even my grandmother ask if I saw the cute photos of my kids and not be able to see what every other member of my family can see and share.

I don't want my business to be left in the dust while every other business has moved onto social media and is thriving there.

So I am on facebook. It's not all bad. Sharing and storing photos is fun. And seeing little statuses and jokes can be ok. But there are a few huge issues that I have with facebook. And here are the top 10.

My Top 10 Issues with Facebook

1. Virtual Friends. People ask to be friends with people they would never approach in any other venue. In fact some of the most shy and antisocial people I know have over 400 friends. But in real life they don't even need 2 hands to count their real friends. You know nothing about some of these people. They could be criminals, freaks or just nasty people who will take what you post and cause problems... and yet we keep adding to our friends list as though having hundreds of anonymous friends you couldn't pick out of a line up is something to strive for. Why not go out and make some real friends or use facebook to plan outings with the friends you have?

2.Virtual Lives. They are not a farmer. They aren't a chef. They don't own a salon or pet store. They aren't even a knight in Camelot. Would they really want to be? They have a life. Is it that bad that they have to spend half of it online creating a new one and asking people to be their neighbor so they can send them stuff?

3. TMI. I'm not just talking about the people who share way too much about their kids latest bowel movement though they are definitely included in this. I'm also talking about the people that check in everywhere from their work, to their home and even in the bathroom. You share all your personal info. You tell people where you are at any given day at any given time. You post everything. FYI... I would never brag about my brand new TV, PC, etc and then post that I am leaving town. Not everyone who sees your posts are  your friends and of those that are, not all can be trusted. (See #1) Somethings shouldn't be publicly shared.

4. Bitchers. They bitch about the people at the grocery store, they bitch about their family, they bitch about people that bitch. Um... hello?!?!? You can also include the "drama haters" in this category too. These people are almost as bad as the

5. Life is Rosiers. Their house is being remodeled. Their husbands a great cook. Their kid has straight As. Their friends are great. Their feet don't stink. Isn't their life so rosy. No ones life's that perfect. Sure these status updates aren't bad in doses mixed with a few "my life sucks today posts" but when all you see is how great everything is... well let's say no one is fooled. Their house is being worked on because it's falling apart. Their husband cooks because he feels guilty he's cheating on them. It's easy to get straight As when their kid is up all night on cocaine studying. Their friends talk about them behind their back and their feet do stink. Are they trying to fool us or just themselves?

6. House Cleaners. Look, they added 354 friends. No one made them do it and there is a good chance that they requested most of them. Are they really so popular that they have to "clean their friends list"? And if they do clean house (which they probably should do see #1) don't make the main qualification for staying a friend be "liking" the house cleaning post.  Seriously... if having them like a post is the determining factor of if they should be on your friends list... they probably shouldn't be on your friends list. They just want feel like people care... admit it.

7. Attention Seekers. Maybe they weren't hugged much as a child. Maybe they are lonely in general. But every post they make is created with the sole purpose of getting people to pay attention to them. These people can be # 3, 4, 5, 6 or any combination. Sure the whole point of social networking is to connect and share but these people are self centered. They actually get upset if they get less then 10 likes and 10 comments on a status. They only really comment on other peoples posts if they can talk about themselves and hijack the post. And they are so self absorbed that they apologize when they don't post for a while... like everyone was waiting with bated breath for their return.

8. Self Portraits. Does anyone honestly think they look sexy with their boobs out, lips puckered facing a mirror with their camera showing?!?!? I guess they do because their albums are filled with shots they have taken of themselves in every outfit they own (and some with lots of skin), or looking tough flexing, in every angle you can manage in a mirror and by the way... can they at least get their dirty clothes off the floor if they are going to publicly post the photo? You should be cleaning your room instead of taking shots or yourself. Or at least have a friend do it so they can tell you how stupid you look.

9. Unfriending someone is the worst thing you can do to a person. Talk about me, my momma, my kids... BUT DON'T UNFRIEND OR BLOCK ME!!!! Long ago before facebook you could dislike someone. Tell them you aren't their friend. Talk bad about them and spread rumors with the final blow being a full confrontation. Now it's all backwards thanks to facebook. Someone makes a post. You take it personal. You make a post.  You virtually confront each other (usually with indirect, vague, passive aggressive statements). You talk trash to people, you spread rumors and then when you are really angry and want to really hurt them... YOU UNFRIENDunfriended because let's be honest...  you probably barely know them outside of the Internet (see #1). It's the lowest of low attacks because it's a first and last strike. It leaves the other person without a course for retaliation. It's not that they unfriended you... it's that they did it first. (Be honest, you know it's true.) Rather then looking at it like a favor you go back to passive aggressive statements but in 3 months to a year when you are unblocked and you get a friend request... you accept. Rinse and Repeat.

10. Tagging. I do not want to be tagged. Hell! I didn't even want photographed! I didn't realize I was standing in the background during a photo at your kids birthday party and the only thing you can see of me was is flat butt or giant belly. Do you really need to tag me? Especially when  you can't even see my face? Seriously. It's just mean.  My new policy is when someone tags me in a crappy photo I post a photo of a Plumbers Crack and tag them. See how they like it.

The absolute worst part of all this... I HAVE DONE EACH ONE AT LEAST ONCE. (And some I have done a lot more!)  And don't even get me started on poking! When did it become ok to poke people?!?!? Keep your virtual hands to yourself!!!

Why?

If you have kids you hear this a lot from their mouths. But my toddler says it more then the other two combined and multiplied by 100.

Originally I thought this simple question was a testament to her natural curiosity and an attempt to understand the world around her. A normal exchange in my house goes something like this:

She would ask "Can I have some candy?" and I would reply "No".
"Why," she would inquire. "Because it's almost dinner."
"Why?"
"Because we need to eat soon."
"Why?"
"Because if we don't eat we will be hungry."
"Why?"
"Because the human body needs food to work and if you don't get enough your tummy will growl and to say it needs more."
"Why?"
"Because it just does, ok?"
"Why?"
"BECAUSE I SAID SO!"
"Why?"

I try to nurture her curiosity and feed her ever growing little mind but I am starting to think her curiosity isn't the reason for the "Why". It's a sales tactic and a psychological attack.

You keep your prospect (aka victim) engaged long enough and they break down. Their defenses wear down and hopefully they give in even if it's just to get you to stop pitching to them. It's a toddler interrogation. And it's effective in my toddlers case about half the time.

Initially I would end up screaming "Because I said so" and she would bring out the lip and tears and I'd feel bad for crushing her fragile emotions over one simple inquiry... "Why" so I give in to make up for it.

Once I realized this word was just one more weapon in her manipulation arsenal I wanted to get even so I would answer her "Why" with my own "Why".  It became clear that this tactic wouldn't break her because she just kept asking "Why" and I couldn't turn it around. I think I am dealing with a superior intellect.

I attempted ignoring her but the incessant "Why" was like a hammer to my brain, pounding away at my self control until I would scream "Shut up!". Obviously a new method is needed.

So now I am trying a new plan of attack (or in my case defense). After the first "Why?" I give a full and simple explanation to the question. When the inevitable "Why?" comes I ask "Which part didint' you understand?". This gives her a chance to ask a specific question if this is really about learning for her and if she gives just another "Why?" I say "I already told you why and if you ask me why again you can sit in time out until you remember why."

I know I sound like a crappy parent threatening time out over this but it's maddening to hear her ask the same thing over and over and over. And if you think threatening to punish is bad you're going to think I am a real piece of work when I tell you that I actually do punish!

I have used time out, taken her favorite doll and taken her privileges (like tv or dessert) away. I don't care how terrible I sound. I don't want not explain things to her and I never wanted to be the "Because I said so" mom so this is  currently the compromise between the two extremes for me.

You may think this is a bad way to handle this and to that I can only ask "Why?".

Potty Training

When it comes to parenting my methods are what many may call unconventional but they seem to work overall so I'm going with it.

Like D and potty training.

In theory I had hoped to get her fully trained in pull ups and then when she's totally gotten it move to undies but it's looking like she needs to loose her safety net. She's been doing very good so this afternoon I decided to take the leap and she is now proudly sporting her Sesame Street undies with Zoe in her full ballerina getup displayed proudly across my kids butt.

But even though I am excited to get her out of Pull Ups I'm no idiot. I know there is a very high chance she is going to pee or poo in her new undies. Ok, let's be honest... it's not a chance it's a guaranteed and inevitable fact. So while we are "testing" out the new undies I have exiled my child to the porch. No I am not joking. She is out there playing with her sister. Luckily she has no idea of why I was so eager to have her play with moon sand outside. I am not going to risk having pee (or worse, the dreaded #2) saturate my couch, carpet, bed or anything else until I'm a little more confident in D's ability to stay dry.
 
While I know my furniture is safe for now I know I have to bring her in at some point and am still debating on what to do about that. I know not to go back to diapers now that I've made such a big deal out of big girl panties but I don't want tinkles and toodles leaking all over the house. (And I'm scared if she goes on the floor my house trained dogs may try to mark over her. This may be an irrational concern but why risk it?) Cellophane seems to be the best option as of yet (kidding). Seriously though I do have those plastic diaper covers that I may stick her in when I bring her in the house but I do want her to feel what wearing just underwear feels like for a but first.
 
Would most parents put their child outside like a dog while potty training? No, probably not. And if they did they probably wouldn't admit to it. But while those parents are shaking their heads at me in disapproval I will be pointing at laughing as they scrub urine and feces out of their upholstery.

So I potty trained my way.  All three of my kids were different but this is my general method:

How did I potty train?

1. No kid will potty train before they are ready. It's a fact. You've heard it before. They can't be forced or pushed into it or it won't stick. You have to wait for the signs.

2. Look for the signs.

• Do they stay dry all night?
• Do they show a curiosity in the potty or what you are doing when you are in there?
• Do they ask questions?
• Try to help give you toilet paper or help flush?
• Can they stay dry for a couple of hours?
• Do they tell you when they need changed?

If they do most of these things they are probably ready.

3. I am a fan of having kids use the big potty from the start. I don't see a lot of sense in transitioning from diapers to a training potty, training potty to a training seat on a big potty, to the big potty. I just put a seat on the big potty and am good to go. Plus it eliminates a lot of confusion and frustration when going potty in places that don't have training potties.  But if they are scared of big potties do what works for them.

4. Figure out their schedule. You probably already know when your kid is likely to need to go potty. I know my kiddo can hold it all night but will go within 5 minutes of waking up. I also know that she goes about 20 minutes after drinking her juice. If you don't know your kids schedule or triggers already start to look for them. You may need to eliminate letting them have a drink all day in exchange for drinks only at meals and snack times just so you can get them on a schedule. Once on a schedule you can get them a watch or timer. Set it for every hour or two hours or whenever they are likely to go. Make it a game. When the timer goes off see who can get to the bathroom first.

5. You can't force it. You can lead a kid to the potty but you can't make him pee. The longer they sit there the higher their chance of going in the potty. But if they get bored or start to fuss let them get off. If they associate the potty with being unhappy or bored they won't want to go. With my little one we read a book every time we were in the potty. We had potty books but we found longer books worked better since she would want to hop off as soon as the book was over. You could also play a few songs or anything to keep them seated and happy.

6. Don't get mad. That's not to say you have to pretend you are happy when they have an accident. Be honest. "I'm not mad you did pee pee in your pants but I would have been very proud of you if you had gone in the potty".  Have them take their undies or diaper off in the bathroom too. You want them to associate the bathroom with going potty every time. If they poo in their pants you can even dump it into the toilet, have them wipe and flush just to get the hang of it.

7. Don't go backwards. Once you go to a big potty you have to stick to it. Once you move from diapers to pants you should stick to it. Moving backwards is confusing. That's why it's so important to only move ahead when your child is ready. But if you do get a little over zealous and move out of diapers before they are ready do what is right for them.  Just put them in them, wait a while and try again.

8. Never underestimate the power of rewards and praise. Small rewards, a special treat, lots of attention is what your child needs to want to be successful. And praise even small milestones. So the first day didn't go so great. Tell them how proud you are that they sat on the potty 3 times. They went tinkle on the big potty but then had an accident later? Tell them you understand using the big potty is hard but you are proud they did it once and would love to see them do it again.

9. Don't be afraid to do what works for you. In my case I put my kid outside to play while in the undies. You may want to limit her access to the furniture or you may want to cover the sofa with towels. Do it! If you get stressed an upset the potty training will be much harder on you then it will be for your child. You may want to do undies during the day and pull ups at night. You know what works for you and your kid so do it.

10. Know your child. If they can't be trained maybe there is a medical explanation. If you do take my advice do it because you checked other information and you think it is what will work best for your child. If doesn't work keep trying and find a method that does.

As a side not... watch out for automatic flushing toilets. For kids who are a little apprehensive about big potties these beasts of the commode world can be really traumatizing and set you back big time in the potty training process.

It may take a day, it may take weeks, months and God forbid years... but your child will be potty trained and though it may not be easy just think of how nice it will be when you can finally get rid of diapers and that giant diaper bag!