Thursday, June 23, 2011

Go Gay For

For those of you not familiar with the term "Go Gay For" I'll explain it. It's a label a straight person would apply to someone of the same sex that is so smokin' hot that they would actually turn gay for the chance to hook up with that person.

I don't know how my hubby and I got onto the subject but through the course of a conversation I somehow said that I don't think he is on any ones "go gay for" list. He instantly looks shocked and hurt (in a playful way).

"I can't believe you don't think anyone one would go gay for me," he says. I explain that it's not that I don't think a gay man wouldn't find him attractive. We actually had a gay friend who totally dug him. It's just that I don't think a straight guy would ever take a look at James and say "Wow, that guy makes me wanna turn gay just to be with him". This isn't a bad thing. Hell, I don't think anyone would ever turn gay just to hook up with me either.

I have to find the irony in men. Many men unnecessarily worry that hanging around a gay guy or being near one could make the gay male in question go crazy with lust for them. Believe it or not few guys are so hot that a homosexual male could not be able to control his urges around them. Luckily James isn't one of these guys. But the fact that he would even jokingly take offense at the thought that a guy wouldn't turn homosexual for him makes me laugh.

But even though I don't think a guy would ever go gay for him, I do believe a lesbian would go straight for him. After all, I did.... LOL.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Crafty Fathers Day Frames

Fathers day was Sunday so on Thursday the girls and I decided to make the dads some hand made gifts. B wanted to make picture frames for everyone so to Michael's we went.

We picked up the simple wooden frames. They are $1 each. Then I asked her how she wanted to decorate them. I asked if she wanted to decoupage, paper mache, paint, color? She wanted to use stickers.

So she and D found stickers for each of the dads. And by dads I mean my dad, my father in law and my step dad. B wanted to do golf for my dad since he loves to play, and for James' dad she picked bowling since they bowl all the time. For my step dad we found one that just said Father since they didn't have any racing stickers.

We covered the frames in cardstock, then I used an exacto blade to cut the paper. We used a file to smooth and distress the edges and the girls put the stickers on (with a little guidance from me) and viola! Three handmade frames. The dads ended up loving them almost as much as the girls loved making them. Best part was they were super cheap. They averaged about $6 per frame so we still got big old rib eye steaks and grilled them up for the dads for dinner instead of going out to eat.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Another Lesson Learned

D's not having the best luck with pools. Aside from this weeks earlier burn we had yet another incident today. Her burn healed so I took her and B to my grandmothers to swim. With the screen and a steady application of sunblock I thought my day could be worry free.

Well, it was until B decided to teach D about the importance of learning to swim. B at 12 year old swims like a fish. Her handicap may hold her back in some areas but she's a natural in the water. Because she's such a good swimmer I didnt' think much of her lecturing my toddler about water safety. I didn't bat an eyelash when she detailed how if you don't know how to swim you never go in the water without an adult and a her floaties.

So when she took D to the middle of the shallow end I honestly wasn't too worried about it because B knows what can happen without a floatation device when you can't swim. It wasn't until B decided to demonstrate what can happen when you go in the pool without a float or help that I had a heart attack. To drive the lesson home B... let go of D!

Thankfully I was there watching so as I jumped out of my seat screaming B reached down to the bottom of the 4 foot deep water and picked D up! I tried not to flip out. I tried to remember that part of the problem with B is she doesn't grasp consequences but this is just another example of how even when you think she fully understands something there can still be this disconnect.

In her mind she was teaching and being a good big sister. To me she was endangering D. I lectured her, explaining why what she did was so dangerous and told her it is not her job to teach lessons about things especially when they can result in death! Thank God I taught D how to hold her breath and I have CPR as a back up but still!

It scared me and to be honest it scared B too. I think oddly D was the least upset by the ordeal. At any rate, this was yet another lesson learned by all. D now realizes she has absolutely zero buoyancy (she sank like a rock) and to not trust B in the pool, B knows she can't teach D about swimming by drowning her, and I learned that no matter how comfortable and confident you feel in a situation, you can never be to careful.

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

B made a friend, I worried for nothing and Devan got burned!

Yesterday was a bummer so today was going to be good. Today I decided to go grocery shopping first thing in the morning to free up the afternoon for fun stuff. Ok, well maybe it wasn't first thing in the morning, more like after 10 or so, but it felt like first thing to me since I normally go around 3pm.

I discovered this is prime shopping hours! Not only is the store empty, but no one has had a chance to be pissed off yet so other patrons and store employees are all super happy! Plus D  was not tired and due for a nap so she was behaving perfectly!!!

So after the store and 2 cart fulls of groceries I took the kids through McDonalds for some hormone riddled fast food since it was $1.99 Happy Meal day. We came home, put up the groceries and ate. Then on to the water park!

I slathered some SPF 100 on the kids and some SPF 15 on myself and it was sunshine and splashing all afternoon! But of course nothing is so simple. I realize many of the complications I face are due my own fault but still...

B  made a friend. This happens a lot. She's just a friendly kid. She loves playing with other kids, and since she is so big smaller kids love playing with her. To them it's like having a "cool older pal". So B  and her new buddy Kendall, who is 8, are playing with D. It was actually really sweet to watch B  who's 12 and D  who's 2 play with this girl and they all got along so well!

So anyways, after a while Kendall's mom comes up and introduces herself. She says Kendall is her step daughter and comes to town when schools out so she has no friends in the area. Would I like getting the girls together some time. I try to play it cool, but I'm as giddy as I would be had I been asked out on my first date. It's hard to find friends for a 12 year old since by this age cliques are often already established and B doesn't go to school in my area so neighborhood kids are hard to find. So I say that a get together would be awesome. We are talking and as we talk about the kids and a playdate B  is off in the corner of my eye acting like B. This isn't anything bad but it's just her being overly flamboyant and touchy feely. Things that turn off a lot of people so I start obsessing.

I nod and act like I am listening to this women talk about her kids but I'm only catching bits of the conversation because in my head I am going over a list of pros and cons. Should I tell her B  is special needs? If I do maybe she won't want her to play with Kendell? If I don't maybe she will think I'm embarrassed by my own child? If I do and she still will let her play with Kendall maybe they will act funny or talk slower like some people do? What if she thinks I;m dishonest for not saying something? What if, what if, what if?!?!? So I kinda blurt it out.

"I wasn't going to say anything because I don't want you to act differently around her but if you are around her for a while you will notice anyway that B  is special needs. She has developmental delays and tends to be very tactile and immature but that is why she gets along so well with kids Kendall's age, she is about at that level," I say and wait for her response. Now to me this was a huge divulgence of something personal and scary. She says, "Oh, I work with special needs kids!" and we begin to talk about that.

I don't know what reaction I was expecting. I guess in my head I had figured worse case scenario would be her snatching her child from the water and running away screaming before B  has a chance to infect her. This is never a reaction I get,  though I do get some all too sympathetic smiles, or "how do you handle it?" comments. But generally people are really accepting of B  in small doses. Sure they don't invite her over for sleepovers and playdates alone very often but I know it's more because they fear for their ability to take care of her and less about the fear of her disability.  (And for the record there's nothing to caring for her. She's normal, she just functions on a lower level so if you treat her like a 12 year old and expect her to behave that way you'll be disappointed and frustrated. But if you treat her like a 6 or 7 year old you'll get along fine and every so often she will surprise you with acting her real age. )

Is the problem me? I know I'm not ashamed of B's disability. I don't offer up the info because it's not always necessary to say it. I guess I want to protect her. I don't want her to be "the special kid" but at the same time if I don't say something and people see how she acts at times she can be labeled as the "weird dorky kid". So when should I say something about her and when shouldn't I? I still haven't figured that one out but in the mean time when I do offer up the information it will be with knots in my stomach as I wait for a reaction. I just can't help it.

So anyway, Kendall and her family left with my number and I was left with a promising new friend for B and a feeling of being so silly as to let myself worry about this lady's reaction to my child. She was just as excited for Kendall to have found a playmate as I was for B.

And while all this went on my youngest was baking like a lobster! Having a Latin skin tone I just don't burn. I do have an allergy to the sun that makes me itch if I don't wear a light block but as long as I smear on a SPF15 in the morning I'm good all day. I put an SPF100 on both girls and B  having my skin turned a lovely golden tan color today. D  taking after my husband is cherry colored! I keep calling her Rosie and Cherry. Her sun burn doesn't seem to hurt but I still feel terrible.

Note to self: White people can burn, you have to reapply sunscreen! With the whole sun causing skin cancer deal it wouldn't hurt to reapply to B  and I as well but it's imperative that D  has a healthy layer of sunblock on at all times. Sucks that I learned the lesson at her expense.  Check out my poor Rosie!

My Shoe Rules

As a women I have that gene that many women have that makes us crave footwear. I love shoes. I love stilettos, sandals, wedges, boots, sneakers and everything in between.

And like most women I often torture myself for a cute pair of shoes. It may be because the store is out of the size I need in those amazing platforms so I get a size smaller. Or my skinny calves don't match my foot size to to get a snug fit in that boot I squeeze my size 8 foot into a size 6. Or I get the right size but after about 15 minutes the straps and buckles start cutting into tender foot flesh or the shoe fits ok but the angle that the stiletto is making my ankle operate at is not safe unless you are a ballerina.

But still for a cute shoe I have been willing to suffer in silence... at least until I had the baby. I have decided that even though I love shoes they aren't worth the health of my feet.

So I have decided to go with comfort and if I can manage fashion too all the better. Here are my new shoe rules:
1. High heels will be under 2 inches tall. This puts less stress on the ankle and foot and ads to stability.
2. Higher heels will be worn in moderation and not for activities that involve a lot of footwork like walks, dancing, etc.
3. When buying a shoe I will shop at the end of the day since during the course of the day feet generally swell.
4. I will be sure to have about a thumbs width of space separating my shoe and toe to reduce pressure on my feet.
5. Flip Flops and sandals are not good support for feet. For lots of walking I will go with a walking shoe or something with sole support.
6. I am allowed to break these rules for special occasions.

Now all I have to do is stay away from the Steve Madden section and I should be ok... I hope.

Friday, June 10, 2011

I'm so happy school is out!

Summer is here. Yesterday was tough. I sat through a 5th Grade "Graduation and Awards Ceremony". Having a special needs child makes these events painful. She got a medal for citizen ship but for the remaining 1 hour and 45 minutes she sat and watched all her peers receive awards for excellence in math, reading, writing, sports, art, music and more. She sat patiently and quietly and clapped when she was supposed to. But watching her and some of the other kids in her ESE (Exceptional Student Education) I wanted to jump up and scream.

Like these kids don't feel left out enough, like they aren't already aware of the fact that they struggle while others breeze through things, as if for one second they may have felt as part of a group let's make sure we show the difference between regular and gifted students and those with special circumstances. I'm not saying to ignore those amazing students who got honor roll, but would a "great effort" award for the kids who will probably never see an A be to much to ask? Apparently so.

At home this is tough as well. My son got Principals Honor Roll. It's a huge deal! That's all A's and perfect conduct! I am so proud but I can't get to carried away in front of B  over the grades because she just can't get all A's. I put a huge emphasis on behavior and in that she always is perfect at school but she can't be expected to get all A's when she just can't understand the material!

I can't wait until next year when she will be in a school that understands children learn differently and those differences should be embraced, utilized and praised. But as for now school is out and summer is here and we are all in need of a break from school. (Maybe me even more than the kids.)

Thursday, June 9, 2011

She should still be my baby...

My toddler is smart. She is a precocious little thing. I often say she is wise beyond her years... but she is also moody beyond her years.

Today she wanted a second breakfast. I told her she needed to wait a little since she had yogurt, a cereal bar and blueberries. She wanted pancakes. So I figured if after 30 minuets she was still hungry I'd make her some. But for 15 minutes straight she kept saying "I want pancakes" over and over. I finally said she couldn't have any now since she won't stop whining.

The little fart ran into her room and slammed the door. Well I don't care how old you are, you don't slam a door on me so I went in. I found her lying face down on her bed sobbing! OVER PANCAKES?!?! Isn't this melodrama supposed to wait a few years?

It's scary because she's my last child. She is my "baby" but of all my kids sometimes she is the most mature and least dependant. She wants to do everything on her own, she wants to figure it out for herself, she wants to be a big girl! But I want a baby. I want her to curl up on my lap and let me rock her. I want to hold her as she falls asleep and cuddle with her. I know she at 2 years old thinks she is too big for this but I want her to be my baby for a little while longer. Even if she is faking it for my sake while i learn to let go.

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Bring on the Summer

I have been so busy lately that once again I have let the things I have to do drag me away from the things I want to do... namely the things that make me happy like blogging. So after yet another vow to make at least 15 minutes a day all mine for some quality time with my blog I am here and stealing those precious minutes while Elmo keeps my toddler away.

It's been crazy lately. One of my friends said it seems like every since the end of the world hype everyone has been crazy. At first I didn't think so but maybe it's true. It seems like everyone in generally a little more tense and tempers are a little shorter. I myself have gotten into 2 vehicle related arguments and let me say I can't wait until the school year is over (just 3 more days!!!) so I don't have to deal with the pick up line at B's school. I am hopeful that next year picking up kids will work out a bit better but that is only if the people driving have at least one whole braincell.

Next year B is going to Pepin Academy. I'm excited. It's a school for special children and I am more than a little hopeful that she will finally be in an environment that is equipped to teach her.

With the school year coming to an end it's a bit bitter sweet. My baby is leaving 5th grade. She will be a middle schooler and there are lots of events celebrating her liberation from elementary school. The school has a clap out where the 5th graders walk while the school claps for them, there are field days and parties and a graduation celebration. And though this is all exciting I am looking more towards summer as the source of my anticipation.

I love summer. Being home all day with the kids, finding new things to do and partaking in some old favorites. It's funny because I always start out the break with this high hopes and ambitious plans and about a month in I can't wait for school to start so I can have a break. But nonetheless I always get excited about the prospect of time with the kids doing all the things that we can't do during the school year.

Adrian is going to his first sleep away camp and unfortunately we couldn't find any suitable day camps for B but that means while my albino sun is away we can actually go to the beach and not leave after 45 minutes for fear of whitey getting a sunburn (thank you Spanish skin tones).

So for now I am waiting and relaxing this week because as of noon on Friday summer break will officially have begun and we will be kicking it off with a trip to the water park and ice cream and the fun won't stop till I pass out... or until one of the kids misbehaves, whichever comes first!