Wednesday, December 28, 2011

E Readers Vs Books

I wrote a blog post a while back about how my purchase of a Kindle caused the down fall of Borders. (You can read it here.)

Since then I have been so in love with reading on my kindle that i barely touch a real book. Now I got the Kindle Fire for Christmas. I wanted it soooo bad but now that I have used it for a few days I just don't think I like to read on it as well as my normal Kindle.

It's awesome for web browsing if you are in a wi-fi area. It's perfect for making me lose hours of my life on some silly app. But it's apps aren't as good as those on the iPad or the iPhone even and even though reading in the dark is now an option I just prefer my normal Kindle.

About a week ago I decided to g o back and reread my "The Wicked Years Collection by Gregory Maguire" (you know, the ones about the wicked witch they used as a basis for the play) since a new and final installment came out. My first 3 copies are paperback so I begin to try and read them. But it's taking me FOREVER! I don't like how cumbersome they are. I am constantly fighting to keep the spine from cracking or pages from crinkling. Also I can't just stuff it in my purse or have it at the ready for the times when I am on the go or stuck in a pick up line!

I swear these things were never such an issue before but now they are crippling my reading enjoyment. So being the cheapskate I am I couldn't bring myself to pay for new books when I already had some just sitting here so I rented them from library for my Kindle. What a relief. The Kindle has truly changed the way I read... I just don't know if its for the better

Thursday, December 22, 2011


If you have kids you hear this a lot from their mouths. But my toddler says it more then the other two combined and multiplied by 100.

Originally I thought this simple question was a testament to her natural curiosity and an attempt to understand the world around her. A normal exchange in my house goes something like this:

She would ask "Can I have some candy?" and I would reply "No".
"Why," she would inquire. "Because it's almost dinner."
"Because we need to eat soon."
"Because if we don't eat we will be hungry."
"Because the human body needs food to work and if you don't get enough your tummy will growl and to say it needs more."
"Because it just does, ok?"

I try to nurture her curiosity and feed her ever growing little mind but I am starting to think her curiosity isn't the reason for the "Why". It's a sales tactic and a psychological attack.

You keep your prospect (aka victim) engaged long enough and they break down. Their defenses wear down and hopefully they give in even if it's just to get you to stop pitching to them. It's a toddler interrogation. And it's effective in my toddlers case about half the time.

Initially I would end up screaming "Because I said so" and she would bring out the lip and tears and I'd feel bad for crushing her fragile emotions over one simple inquiry... "Why" so I give in to make up for it.

Once I realized this word was just one more weapon in her manipulation arsenal I wanted to get even so I would answer her "Why" with my own "Why".  It became clear that this tactic wouldn't break her because she just kept asking "Why" and I couldn't turn it around. I think I am dealing with a superior intellect.

I attempted ignoring her but the incessant "Why" was like a hammer to my brain, pounding away at my self control until I would scream "Shut up!". Obviously a new method is needed.

So now I am trying a new plan of attack (or in my case defense). After the first "Why?" I give a full and simple explanation to the question. When the inevitable "Why?" comes I ask "Which part didint' you understand?". This gives her a chance to ask a specific question if this is really about learning for her and if she gives just another "Why?" I say "I already told you why and if you ask me why again you can sit in time out until you remember why."

I know I sound like a crappy parent threatening time out over this but it's maddening to hear her ask the same thing over and over and over. And if you think threatening to punish is bad you're going to think I am a real piece of work when I tell you that I actually do punish!

I have used time out, taken her favorite doll and taken her privileges (like tv or dessert) away. I don't care how terrible I sound. I don't want not explain things to her and I never wanted to be the "Because I said so" mom so this is  currently the compromise between the two extremes for me.

You may think this is a bad way to handle this and to that I can only ask "Why?".

Monday, December 19, 2011

Tutu Crazy!

Everyone knows love making tutus and lately my tutus have been by order only because I haven't had time to make enough for stock since they are going so fast. But I finally got a few listed in my now fully functional etsy shop!

I also made this angel costume for D's recital which she wore for a total of 10 minutes so I have listed it on etsy also at a discounted price.

But with everyone ordering like crazy for the holidays (people love tutus in photos) I have felt like my own kids tutu obsession has gone ignored... so I decided to do a Christmas Photo tutu for D... and since I am sick of Green and Red tutus... I made this crazy colorful number...
It's not your typical Christmas tutu and D isn't your typical kid so I think it works. I found the shirt at Walmart and it was a little silly and colorful like my kid so I concocted this tutu with lots of colors and made the skirt vary in lengths just to make it even more funky to match.
I love finding a normal shirt or even a pair of tights and making a tutu to match. It takes it from being something ordinary to extraordinary and when you get to work with a funky pallet it's even better.

To buy one of the tutus in my etsy shop just click on the photo and feel free to browse the other handmade items. But if you are looking for a costume tutu let me know. I am toying with the idea of making one for me.

Friday, December 16, 2011

Need a good deal on a chastity belt.

Today was a bowling alley field trip and half day for B and as usual I volunteered to chaperon. When I got to the school the teacher pointed out the kids riding with me. Both of which were boys, one of which (who we will call Brian) was sharing a chair with B at a computer station. I thought is odd but being the overbearing parent I am I promised myself to lay off today so I said nothing.

On the way to the bowling alley B and Brian were texting each other in the back seat. No biggie. We got to the bowling alley and and B kept running off and basically went MIA several times. The group on her lane had to keep stopping their game just to find her. I didn't go crazy, I only went searching for her once and told her to either bowl or tell her group to skip her but she can't run off leaving everyone to wait on her. Again I didn't want to be a nag but she kept running off. Lucky for her I promised myself to give the her some space.

Well, when I give her an inch she doesn't take a mile... she drives straight off a cliff. On the way back to school the other boy says, "I saw what you were doing in the corner."

"What were you doing in the corner?" I asked.
"Nothing," said Brian.
"Something. What were you kissing?" I asked and turned to look at B .
"I don't remember," she says.
I was shocked and finally said "Well, if she can't remember it couldn't have been too good."

I didnt' want to freak out... especially in front of the other kids but I was floored. I actually sat through the next green light and even missed the turn to get back to school. When we finally go there (the longest 8 minute ride ever i might add) I had an idea.

"B , give me your phone."

The look on her face said it all. I was NOT going to like what I found.

Basically they started texting a day or so ago but today the messages started at 6:24am! Now mind you both B and Brian have special needs of some kind. I have typed EXACTLY what they wrote (and even for text talk this exchange is pathetic) and you can see my notes in red and the message I sent in green...

6:24 Her: what are you doing
6:25 Him: eating. what u doing.
6:28 Her: I am leaving to go to school
6:33 Him: Im not yet.
6:58 Him: So what are you doing
At least this partially explains why it takes my kid who has an assigned uniform twice as long to get ready each day. She's farting around on her phone.

I think this is where we get in my car and the two love jerks, I mean birds start texting in the back seat. The idea that my toddler was buckled between them during the exchange creeps me out even more.
8:50 Him: Hey I love you
8:51 Him: Its true
Ok, thanks Romeo but you're moving kinda fast.
8:51 Her: I love you to
Argh... I guess not to fast for my kid.
8:52 Him: Want to date behind joes back
So I guess Joe is her current "boyfriend" (who knew?!?) and now this guy is trying to convince my sweet girl to become a cheater?!?!? What makes him think she's that kind of girl?
8:53 Her: Yes
Oh, well maybe she is. What a little hoochie!
8:54 Him: Ok baby
8:55 Him: whats wrong with me calling u baby
Um... does it matter if her moms not okay with you calling my baby baby?
8:56 Her: Do you want to kiss
Ok, my sweet little girl is a hoe! Jeez, she just started talking to this kid 2 hours ago and has already decided to cheat on this Joe fella and is planning her and Brians first rendezvous?!?!
8:56 Him: when. yes. love you
Well, did you honestly expect him to say no?
8:57 Her: After school
Once again I have discovered why my kid is late. Now I know what she's doing when she's not in the pick up line where she should be. What a sleeze!
8:58 Him: I can't. I have a bus that i have to go on. lets kiss if we bang into each other at the bathroom at the bowling place
At least the boy has priorities. And suggesting a bathroom tryst? Now that's classy.
9:00 Her: ok
And of course my slutty kid is game.
9:02 Him: who do you like more me or joe
Only an hour into the affair and he's already feeling insecure and trying to get her to leave her man? Rookie.
9:02 Her: you
Now maybe she means it, maybe she's running game. Either way I am annoyed.
9:03 Him: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww thanks baby
9:04 Him: Love you cutie
I think I'm going to be sick.
9:13 Her: thank you.
At least I taught her manners even if I didn't teach her how not to be a hoe-bag.
10:51 Her: i love
10:52 Him: I love you. that kiss was awesome.
Um... how many are you able to gauge this against. If my kid gets mono I have your number buddy!
10:58 Her: awww we love you.
We? Are we having a Ménage à trois or did B suddenly get MPD? I later found out her friends were texting with her.  
10:59 Him: an i love u both to
Ok, this isn't "Sister Wives" buddy. Besides B already has 2 boyfriends...
11:00 Her: I can't wait to kiss you again and you are sexy
Again I was told the last line was text by her friend after I went into a tirade over her not even knowing what sex was so why would she call anyone sexy?!?! I am thinking I need to look at these "friends" more closely.
11:01 Him: so are you sexy
11:02 Her: you are sexyer
You know what's sexy? Proper spelling, grammar and punctuation. These kids... NOT SEXY.
11:02 Him: what are you texting.
Apparently a tween version of soft core sexts.
11:03 Him: no u are
I must have missed something here.
11:03 Her: Go in the room and kiss
She is such a little slut!
11:04 Him: k1 sec
And he's not on my list of favorite people either.

At this point I believe we are back in the car driving to school.
11:13 Him: i love you baby
Argh! Will you stop the love crap already!
11:15 Her: I love you to
She's such a follower.
11:16 Him: I want to kiss you again
Why buy the cow when it will kiss you for free?
11:16 Her: ok

This is just after the other boy said he saw what they were doing in the corner.
11:18 Him: I'm going to kill him
And I want to kill you.
11:19 Her: I want to kill him too
Didn't you think for even a second that while "making out" with a boy on a field trip your mom was chaperoning there was even the slightest chance you may get caught?!?!?
11:19 Him: he is such a jerk
Yeah, it was kinda a jerk move snitching them out but it worked to my benefit. Hooray for snitches!
11:20 Her: i know
At least one person in the car is honest. Thank you tattle tale boy.
11:21 Him: I hope you dont get in trouble
Hope all you want. Your slutty little girlfriend is grounded.
11:21 Her: me too
Do you even know me?!?!?
11:22 Him: love you baby
Poor Romeo
11:23 Her: I love you
Alas our Juliette
11:28 Him: I don't know where we can kiss again.
So many things keeping them apart... distance, winter break, the fact that B will be lucky if she is allowed to leave her room ever again and my foot in this boys ass!
11:50 Him: Hey sup
Yeah, that's romantic.

At this point we leave school and on the way home we have a talk and I tell her she's punished. But she can't just let it go...
12:48 Her: in the bathroom
Um... gross?
12:49 Him: me to
Um... double gross!
12:51 Her: ok
Kids are dumb.
12:53 Him: so sup
Who told this kid this was a good line to use on girls?
12:54 Her: I love you
Well, I guess it works huh?
12:54 Him: love you to
That's it. I've tried to be nice and not embarrass anyone but screw this.
1:30 ME: This is B mom. I would appreciate you and B keeping your hands and mouths to yourselves, especially while at school and during school functions.
1:31 Him: ok
Yeah, you don't want to mess with me!
1:33 Me: Thank you
1:34 Him: Welcome
Other then the fact that this kid was making out with my daughter he's actually a pretty likable guy. But the whole tongue in my kids mouth negates anything he had going for him.

So obviously I am not happy. I punished B but I can't really punish her for kissing at 12 even though I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to. I know if I punish her for this now she's going to go to even greater lengths to hide this type of thing from me in the future. So I told her she's being punished for smooching at school. I told her she is never to do things like this at any sort of school function. She's cleaning the house top to bottom (I'm actually glad she got in trouble so I could pass this task off to her). She also lost her phone and is restricted all weekend to her room with no electronics.

I can't tell if I am being to hard on her or not. I just don't know what else to do but if anyone knows where  I can get a good deal on a pair of iron undies please email me.

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Take this troop and shove it!

Here's the deal. I am trying to be a good role model for B but I really just want to scream!

Our Girl Scout Troop was doing a holiday performance. Some of the girls had speaking parts and everyone was singing Christmas Carols. When we were assigning parts some of the girls didn't want to have a speaking roles so somewhat reluctantly B agreed to take have a part.

This is a big deal for a few reasons. Firstly her learning disabilities makes learning even 2 sentences difficult. Add to that also the reading of unfamiliar words and it's doubly hard.  Secondly her speech problems make it hard for her to be understood. She has a hard time with pronunciation and she stutters. But I stressed how important it was that she remember her lines and try to speak clear. If she stutters just breath deep and keep on moving. I kept saying how everyone would be counting on her.

For weeks this kid practiced. She broke words down and worked and worked and finally had her lines memorized and she was saying them clearly enough that anyone listening could understand! I can't begin to tell you how proud she was of herself or how proud I was.

But there have been some "kinks" in the holiday program plans. For starters I don't "work" but I do have 3 kids. Two of which are at different schools 45 minutes away from our home and subsequently the Girl Scout meeting area. A rehearsal was set for 5pm. But with me not even picking up B until 5 it made it hard to be there on time. I would be late.

Then B had oral surgery scheduled. The surgery wouldn't leave a lot of recovery time before the rehearsal but she may be ok for the program. My biggest concern was leaving the other girls in the lurch if she couldn't make it. So as a courtesy I told the other troop leader, who was running this whole holiday thing, what was going on and asked if we can get an understudy "just in case". I probably should have just kept my big mouth shut. She said she would find a girl "just in case". We left it at that.

But she was so excited and proud of her progress and ability to participate we rescheduled the surgery... to be held just days before Christmas. That's right. She was willing to give up Christmas dinner and all the yummy food that it brings for these 2 lines in the crappy program. But if she was willing to make the sacrifice who was I to say otherwise.

So the night of rehearsal (which was just the girls at the park, no set up or stage or props) I drove like a mad women to get there with B reciting her lines the whole time. When we arrived (late because they started the rehearsal at 5 when even our meetings don't start till 6) I told B to jump in.

That's when we were told her part was given away. What happened to "just in case"? I swear if it had been quieter you could have heard B's heartbreak even if you couldn't see the hurt in her eyes. She held it though and didn't cry. I asked her to be a student director but there was little for her to do in that capacity so she just sat there which I could tell was not fun watching everyone else preform in a program she had practiced for. Then I told her to jump in and try to sing... but she focused so hard on the lines she had to say she didnt' know the words to the songs so all she could do was move her mouth and try to catch a few words. Then when the girl who was given her lines went up I saw her eyes fill with tears. She blinked them back and I could tell it really upset her.

The other troop leader said I told her to give the part away. I didnt' argue because even though I didn't think I did... I do forget what I send out so for the sake of argument I didn't say otherwise. And then she explained to B that it wouldn't be fair to give the part back. "That would be hurting the other girl just to make B feel better." Well... the other girl originally didn't even want a part and the other girl didn't spend weeks practicing and the other girl doesn't have to work as hard to remember 2 simple lines and the other girl had the part for 1 hour not 2 months and the other girl wasn't even asked if she minded giving the part back! And I know I sound mad at "the other girl" but I'm really just mad at the situation.

So we left and B broke down in the car. I asked her what she wanted to do and she said "I dont' want to go and watch all my friends if I can't do it too." I told her I understood and would let her decide what to do. Then she sobbed saying things like "I tried so hard" "I just want to be in the show".  I explained that none of this had to do with how hard she tried or how well she did. It was because of me saying we needed a back up plan. I apologized and she just cried saying "It's not your fault mommy". Great, now I really feel like shit.

I'm so angry. So when I got home after telling the other troop leader that B didn't want to go and I wouldn't make her under the circumstances I checked my emails and they did ask for an understudy... not a replacement. James thinks maybe the "swift replacement" had to do with B's ability to do the lines with her stutter and all. I don't think so... and I'd hate to think that but no matter what the reason my kid is hurt and disappointed. She doesn't know if she even wants to do Girl Scouts anymore. Worst part is now she has to have her mouth operated on right before a Christmas... So when everyone is eating ham and potatoes she will be eating applesauce and for what?!?! Not a damn thing.

One part of me wants to tell her to be the bigger person and to stick it out at least the rest of the year or give it a month more and see how she feels. But the other part knows I probably wouldn't in the same situation plus this part also knows we have such a crazy schedule losing one activity would be a huge relief.

So do I try to teach her to turn the other cheek or to take the easy route and quit? I don't know. For now though she's upset so I will see what course she selects naturally and go from there. But I don't think I'll mind if she wants to tell them to take their troop and shove it. I could use the break if nothing else.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

No Heavy Lifting

Tonight I think I caught my husband off guard. He needed me to lift our insanely heavy mattress with him and I said sure... but walked right past him to the bathroom. He says "Aren't you going to help?" and I respond "Yeah but if I don't pee first I may have to change my pants after."

After an odd look and good laugh I explained that having 2 kids does a number to your body.

There are many things I lost after the births of my girls. Things like the ability to rock a bikini, or go braless in a halter or jump on an trampoline without pissing myself.

These things are part of life and a side effect of motherhood for some... but I guess my husband never put much thought into the things that happened to my body underneath the stretch marks. Sure I don't have to play jump rope with the kids but it would be nice to be be able to even after downing a big gulp... but once you are pregnant and have a kid you can't just hope in the bounce house all care free and willy nilly. Well, I guess you could but you may have a little dribble. Then you'd have to blame the wet spot on some kid at the party and that's just sad.

I know this isn't something most people talk about... and probably not anything most people want to hear. Sure it's kind of gross and a bit taboo but it's life! I'm not walking around pissing myself or anything but there have been times when I have been laughing so hard I have to crumple to the floor in an attempt to literally not laugh the piss out of me. And there was that time at Airheads Trampoline Arena when I barely made it to the restroom.

And of course you hear "do Kegel exercises". Yeah... I have three kids that as soon as I walk into the bathroom they start beating on the door. I don't have time to practice stopping my flow of urine in an attempt to strengthen those muscles. I have to get in, out and on with life! And lord know I can't sit and type doing it. It's just kinda weird and in all honesty a little exhausting. (I think my va-jay-jay actually got tired last time I tried.) And we all know other then Yoga I have this unnatural aversion to exercise.

So the solution is simple. Err on the side of caution. Always operate on and empty bladder or NO HEAVY LIFTING.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

What do I do all day?

I was at my husbands company party a week ago and was really enjoying myself... but at one point at the dinner table I yawned. A young girl who was one of DHs employees asks if I was ok. I said I'm fine... "Just a little tired". She responds with "How can you be tired? You don't work and you spend your day with kids."

Now I know her comment was made out of the blissful ignorance of youth... and thankfully from the look of disgust, shock and fear on every other face at the table they knew just how inappropriate the comment was. (Look, you don't have to be a mom or know what a moms deals with daily to know that's rude.) But because she was young and stupid I didn't fret too much. I told her I spend all day running and busy as another young (and much smarter) girl said "My mom always said the hardest job you will ever have is raising kids." See some people at DHs work do have a brain.

Gee why am I tired? What do I do?

Well let's just pick a Tuesday for example...
6am: Wake up the house for work or school and lay back down hoping to sleep a little longer.

6-7am: Take a shower and hunt for the laundry basket because I know I washed my favorite jeans so they have to be somewhere. Don't leave the room because if I do they will make me do stuff for them!!!

7-7:29am: Everyone gone. Start a load of laundry and put away the basket. I still haven't found my jeans.

7:30am: D wakes up. I rush back to bed to fake like I'm sleeping and hope she'll just go back to her room so I can finish the laundry but she smacks me in the face and jabs me to pry open my eyes. It's no use. She's not going back to her room.

7:31-7:45: Make Breakfast while cleaning dishes that magically appeared in sink after I already washed everything last night.

7:45-9am: Work on TBMG site, blog, pay bills, schedule appointments. Get D started on her "school work" which she decides to tear up and use as snow.

9-10am: Work on PTSO and fundraiser work for kids schools while doing a craft with D related to todays school topic. After craft clean glue stick out of D hair and nose. It may be in her teeth too but since it's non-toxic I'll only worry about the parts that may get it onto the furniture.

10-12pm: Clean house as D follows me around "uncleaning" house.

12-1pm: Make and eat Lunch and go for walk around block before D goes stir crazy and destroys the house so I have to clean it all over again.

1-2pm: Coupon clipping and matching up up the computer. D destroys the nice clean house while I'm occupied.

2-2:30: Dress D. Let the dogs out. Dress D again because somehow in the 5 minutes it took the dogs to pee her first outfit is missing and she is sitting in the middle of the floor naked.

2:30-3:30pm: Pick up my son from his school. D is screaming in the back seat for attention.

3:30-4:30pm: D is in dance class. A sits on the bench doing homework. I am making the grocery list or checking on the site.

4:30-5pm: Pick up B from Cheerleading practice. D is screaming because her imaginary friend is fighting with her.

5-6pm: Drive Home. I hate rush hour traffic. D is now singing "The song that never ends".

6-7pm: Get Groceries. All my couponing is wasted because the 3 kids spent more on the junk food that's ended up in the cart then I saved with all my clippings.

7-8pm: Turn on website and try to work while cooking dinner and eating. D throws her plate on the floor by "accident" right after saying she didn't want to eat and I told her she has to.

8-9pm: Get kids all showered or bathed and ready for bed. Kitchen clean. House is a wreck again all while working on the site.

9pm-12am: Work on site and try to finish up things that didn't get finished during the day only to realize I forgot about half the stuff I was supposed to do and now I have to try to remember it all tomorrow.

If I'm lucky I am asleep by 1am. If I am even luckier D won't come in and wake me at 2am and keep me up past 3am.

And this is just the schedule generally for any given day. Some days I don't have to go to the store, others I have to go to several. Some days I skip coupons while other days cleaning takes 4 hours. And with a varying schedule of practices, sports games, playdates or Dr appointments and various other errands... well... you get the idea. And to think I do all this and don't have a "full time job". I think of the moms that fit all this in around 8 hour out of home work days and my head spins.

So no, I have no idea why I'm tired. I don't really do that much.

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Telling classmates your pregnant is not a good joke!

So as a follow up to yesterday's 13 and pregnant post, I spoke to B. I asked if she knew how babies were made and as I suspected she thought it was mostly kissing. I really don't want to have the birds and bees talk so I told her that there was a lot more to it. I'll get back to the mechanics when I figure out how to explain it best for her.

I asked why she would tell her friends she was pregnant and she said she was joking. Then I had to explain that a joke is funny and lying about something and letting people believe its true is not funny and is just a lie. She also swears she didn't ask for gifts. Either way she did get punished for lying just so i can feel like shes learning a lesson on honesty and good judgement. She's grounded from all electronics until the weekend so she will be catching up on some reading. So for now alls well that ends well. Well... Until I have to get around to that birds and bees talk.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

If you have your own side then we must be on different sides.

I tend to blog more when I am upset because it makes me feel better to get my frustrations out. And since I all I really want to do is feel better about crap that happened yesterday and other involved parties are not making any attempt to keep the issues to themselves I am going to get it out.

Basically I was told by a friend that she got some complaints about a photo on facebook for my website The thing is no matter what she said or meant the issue came when my feeling got hurt. I didnt' think she tried to hurt them on purpose but then she made a few snarky emails. I didn't even worry about them. Again, I wold have sworn she was just unintentionally insensitive and in all honesty I was too hurt. The thought that someone would complain about a photo, something so petty, I use on a site that I put so much into really was a blow that I wasn't ready for after what had been an already very trying day.

I don't do the site for praise or thanks but give me a break! I don't want to hear that "multiple people have complained" about anything. I work too damn hard and it just was very discouraging and hurt. And to find out all at once that she allegedly had people complain over a a period of months... well I felt ganged up on. If this was the case she should have said something months ago. What was she hanging on to everything to build a case? Say something when it happens or don't say anything at all.

Plus I am one of those who thinks when it comes to the opinions of others "Ignorance is Bliss". Firstly because I rarely care what anyone thinks about me unless I have a personal interest in them or the situation. Secondly because if I find out people dislike something I am proud of or just happy with it sucks.

So I was hurt. End of story. It wasn't directed at anyone but I was upset and angry and just trying to get over it. Well... that apparently wasn't ok. While I was trying to deal with this,  this friend had to make this an issue between she and I. I wasn't even mad at her but she had to run around giving her side of a story. If you aren't fighting or disagreeing with someone you don't need to have a side right? Well that's what I think... so the fact that she felt the need to fill people in really pissed me off. I made a post on TBMG in my normal snarky, sarcastic half serious way where I make jokes to deal with pain ( I called my self out for acting like such a baby several times) and I just wanted to vent... and it worked! Well until she had to make my pain about her.

And because she had such an issue I had people present me the conspiracy theory of the day... "Maybe she was the only one with the problem and that's why she took it personally." Sounded like a logically idea to me but I still just wanted to get over it and after i wrote it out I felt better... until she had to make a post with a freaking screenshot and a pretty bad comment.

I deleted her response because again I still wasn't feeling like this was a "she vs I thing". So when I told her as nicely as I could that I deleted her post and why... she got pissed. She said she wanted her side told. I then deleted the whole post because I was told that it could scare away new site members. Honestly I don't care. If someone is that bothered by me saying how I feel I don't really want them on the site. But then with her messages and this "my side" issue I think I finally snapped. That's it then. You want there to be sides, then that means it's a "you vs I thing". That means this is a argument, issue, fight, whatever. 

I was way more upset then I should have been, way more upset than I characteristically would be about something like this. I knew that but knowing you are being irrational about what someone says doesn't always make you stop feeling like shit. I just wanted to vent on my site. I felt like I should be allowed because lord knows everyone else is given that privilege. But whatever. I told her I was too upset and just taking time away from it all. And I tried. BOY DID I TRY!!! But even today she was calling people to tell her side. By the way during the course of this insanity her sides details have changed more then once but whatever.

So if a "friend" who hurt me unintentionally or not was actually sorry I feel like she would stop trying to draw more people into this but since she won't I have to wonder what's more important... my feelings or "her side"? I wasn't going to even post about this but if she wants to share her side of the story with anyone that will listen then I will share my feelings.

I was hurt and she made this about her. Not everything has to be about her and that's why I can't get over it yet. I may be a bad friend because I let this get to me at this level but up until this became a "us" issue I never thought our friendship was being called to account. I feel bashed and betrayed from too many angles.

I'll get over it all at some point... but I have to wonder what will have changed irreparably by then?.

12 and Pregnant?

I had a rough day yesterday so this morning I decided to press on and MAKE today a good day. But when I go to check my emails I have this from B's teacher sitting in my in box: (I am changing the names of the involved parties)

Mrs. Steffany813
It has been brought to my attention by Jenny Johnsons mother that B has been telling her that she is pregnant and that Jenny should buy her a build-a-bear for her baby.  This was pretty shocking, I am hoping that this is just something she is doing for attention or perhaps that Jenny is confused, but I thought I should bring it to your attention so that you can discuss it with B and find out what is going on.

So I responded with:
Obviously it is not true but I will speak to her about this.

I know B isn't pregnant. It's not like I am a mom to some teenage girl who is too naive to even suspect she's having a sexual relationship. B is never in a place or situation where sex is possible, furthermore I am pretty sure she has no idea about the actual "how to". But getting this email is upsetting.

Additionally about 2 years ago I found out she had told a girl in her gymnastics class who told her mom, who told me B said she was going to have a baby. I assumed this was due in part to B not understanding what that really meant and  to the recent addition of D to our family. At any rate we had a talk about it.

Now this. At first it's laughable. I mean, she's registered at Build-A-Bear? But the other side is the thought she is intentionally lying to get people to give her things. And what if this is just the only case brought to the teachers attention and she has told others about this? So now I have to have a lecture on lying, on how making up stories to get things is the same as stealing, and sex! Ugh.

I am not sure how to handle it. I told hubby what was going and asked what he thought I should do and he said:
Not much other than have a serious talk with her about it. For a 3rd grader this thing is not a big deal. It's hard with B because she is both a 3rd and 6th grader.

So for now I have to wait to bring it up this afternoon.

I'm going to start by asking where babies come from and see what she says and how much she knows and move on from there. But I seriously don't want to have this talk. 

Monday, November 14, 2011

This Ribbons for You

The timing was pretty ironic. I was selected to do a review on a book about a women's journey through breast cancer and then found out my grandmother was going in for a biopsy.

She went in for the biopsy today and they warned her that they may need to do a lumpectomy or mastectomy. After the biopsy they immediately checked and found it was cancerous. So they did the mastectomy.

I cried. That may sound like the "duh" statement of the day but since I refused to even worry about this until I knew there was something to worry about I just hadn't cried at all because why cry over what could be completely benign. But they worked fast.

They got her in, did the biopsy and found the mass was malignant so immediately removed the breast. I guess I had to cry fast because there was no real time to build up to it. It's like.. there may be a problem, yes it's a problem, all better.

That's a good thing though. At least that's what I told my mom who called me sobbing to update me. I didn't cry on the phone with her because Lord knows my mom doesn't need any encouragement when it comes to tears but once I hung up I let it go.

I know grandma's ok. They caught the cancer and took it out and now it's a matter or some treatment but I worry. I get so upset when my boobs look uneven. How would I feel if one was gone? Are they going to replace it? Does she even care?

The worst part was that the staff didn't tell her they went ahead and did the mastectomy. My mom had to tell her when she went up to the room and it was then my grandmother felt her chest and said "oh". Apparently she seems to be taking it very well but who knows how she'll fair once she's alone and doesn't feel like she has to be strong for anyone else.

I think about my own boobs. My ta'tas, love lumps, whatever you want to call them. Sure they aren't perky and firm like they were a few pregnancies ago but I still love them and I know my husband does. I watched them grow all my life cheering them on and celebrating with each increasing cup. Cursing them when they wouldn't fit in a blouse, touching them when I was teasing my husband, using them to feed my children. It's a life long relationship. And ultimately I love them. They could honestly be the death of me but I love them and I don't know how I would feel if I had to lose one or both.

I'd like to think I'd be strong but who can bare to lose a piece of themselves... especially a peice that in many ways defines you as a woman.

So for all the women who have fought breast cancer and won or loss today you are all in my thoughts. This ribbon is for you.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Last of the 20s

Tonight is officially the last night of my 20s. I have mixed feelings about my passage into my 30s.

There's a part of me that can't believe I'm going to be 30. This is the same part of me that sucks in my stomach and visualizes my boobs being perky and firm like they were 10 years ago. This part of me looks in the mirror and thinks "I don't look 30" as I search for gray hairs to pluck. Sure there's only been 5 but that's 5 I ripped out on sight!

The other part of me thinks "Who cares?" I have a husband who loves me, beautiful kids, the ability to stay home with my family while working towards my goals or taking the time to make goals. Who cares if I can't say I'm in my 20s anymore?

James makes jokes saying I'm becoming an old lady and I guess I am day by day. But since he's already and old man who cares. He's been going gray since I met him so maybe we'll have just one more thing in common. He's probably more upset about not being able to say he has a wife in her twenties then I am to have to say I'm the big three-zero.

So let's see how tomorrow goes. I can't do anything about turning thirty but I can enjoy my thirties so much I will mourn the loss of my 30s even more then I did the loss of my 20s.

Friday, October 28, 2011

B's Dance

Tonight was B's first School Dance.

She's been excited about it for weeks and we are going all out. Sweet n Sassy did her hair and it looked amazing. Here's some shots of my girl!

Since the Dance was her Fall Dance they could dress up. She was "Little Red Riding Hood".

But she loved her hair and makeup so much she didn't even wear her hood and I can't blame her! 

This is the back of her hair. They did a great job and she loved every second of being pampered.  

I was really very proud of myself. I tend to not let B have my freedom so initially I was going to chaperon the dance. But I realized in my attempts to "protect" B I tend to nag. Like when she dances or gets a little wild I'm quick to reign her in. Since I know my tendency is to try and save her (sometimes from herself) and in that I keep her from just being herself and having a good time I thought I would send James as my Proxy. Daddy is good at giving her more leeway without letting things get crazy. But then I started to think about it...

My kid's so sheltered. This is a dance at the school. The school specializes in dealing with kids who are unique. These are all her teachers and they know her pretty well since they are around her almost as much as I am. Every other parent was staying at the dance so there was no lack of supervision. She knows the emergency numbers. She should be fine. So I decided to just drop her off.

Ok, so I walked her in and spoke to the principal first (baby steps) but once we walkedthrough the doors and she heard the Cha Cha Slide song playing she was off and in the middle of the dance floor without a kiss goodbye.

Of course I snapped some photos but I let her go. As I went to leave and I turned to give her one last look I was her jumping around, dancing crazy and making a spectacle of herself. Every instinct I had was to run up to her and tell her to bring it down a few notches before the other kids noticed her wild flailing but I stopped myself. It only took a moment to see that the other kids barely noticed and those who did got their boogy on right along with her. The wilder she got the wilder they got and as the booty shaking grew so did the smiles. She was grinning ear to ear and so were the rest of the kids.

She wasn't being mocked, or made fun of. She was just very B... dancing like she always does, off beat without a care in the world. No worries of being judged because in her own mind she's a star. It's just how she is. She doesn't think, she just acts. She gets a notion and goes with it and that was what she was doing... only without me there to stop her. I was letting go and giving her a chance to let it go. I wasn't letting my fears ruin her fun and it was hard to be honest.

As she danced she didn't think about steps or what anyone thought. She was just having fun and if others joined her great... if not... great. She was happy and even though I was still worried I walked out of the room smiling and a little jealous because I can't just dance like that.

No matter what B deals with in her life and with the things she has to overcome she approaches it with a song in her head and she just dances. Without worry or care and even though that can sometimes cause problems it often gives her a freedom that I don't think most people ever really feel.

When I picker her up she was glowing. She had a an amazing time and danced non-stop. Sure she probably danced off beat and maybe she looked crazy to anyone who didn't see just how beautiful her dancing is but who cares? Not her.

I wish we all could dance like B.

Do clothes make the Mom?

I'm not a fashionista or anything like that. Honestly shopping sometimes gives me panic attacks. I'm usually a jeans and t-shirt kinda gal. There's a reason for it...

Aside from the face that for no reason at all I always feel a smidgen of guilt when buying things for myself... There are few things as stressful as trying to wiggle into a pair of skinny jeans that are about 2 sizes too small for you in every place on your lower half except your flat rear end, while trying to tuck your muffin top into the waistband as your toddler climbs under the dressing room door giving the lady next to you a heart attack. Sure, she says my kid's cute and it's "ok" but I know she's thinking my child should be on a leash. And if there is a big sale going on... EVEN WORSE. So I don't usually shop...

But every so often my husband gets me a pair of ridiculously fabulous shoes that are too outstanding to go unworn. Obviously with my aversion to shopping this can present a problem when constructing an outfit. So I must shop.

I go early and don't usually try anything on in store (for the previously stated reasons) and I can actually deal very well with the experience on occasion. And even though often the process of shopping in and of itself can suck... getting new clothes makes me fell all warm and gooey inside. And I am a sucker for a deal.

So when hubby bought me this amazing pair of shoes in a half size too small I had to exchange them. But when I did they were on sale so I got a credit. Now it seemed a waste not to use the credit. In fact since the shoes were a gift it would be down right rude not to get the full value out of the gift right? (At least that's what I told myself.) So I bought another pair of shoes equally as fantastic. But now what the hell would I wear them with... my "mommy clothes"? You know, the "comfy so they can't possibly look good" jeans and a shirt that has some long ago set stains that could be coffee or poop. (I'm hoping for coffee.) Oh, or maybe the sweats that I think make me look like I just came from the gym (except my flabby gut proves that's not the case and I was just too lazy deal with buttons).

So I shopped. And for a person who generally doesn't like shopping, once I get going I am iinsatiable. And I'm a good shopper too. I coupon, have membership cards that give discounts and cash back rewards, email subscriptions with special offers... you name it. So I on this last trip I bought over $200 in clothes for under $10... and also got $80 in rewards cash to use next month. Good deal right?

And they are all trendy and I look smoking hot in them! So I've been dressing up. Even when I'm going to story time at the library. Or taking the kids to dance. I am in 5 inch heels, skinny jeans and some blouse that is baggy enough to hide what my spanx is struggling to contain but fashionable enough to not look like that's what I'm going for. Sure... it's kind of false advertising but hubby knows what lies under the skinny jeans, control top panties and body shaping tanks... and he doesn't care! He thinks I ohot in the new duds (even though he says he prefers me without... or anything).

And even though I love the fanfare he's putting on each day when he sees me in these slutty shoes and skin tight jeans I love how I feel in them. I feel hot! I am taking more time doing my hair and makeup. Hell, I'm even considering shaving above the knee! I feel sexy and attractive and sometimes a little insecure when I notice a teen wearing a similar outfit that I have on while dragging my toddler around but I get over it.

Do clothes make the mom? No, not really. I am just as good (or bad) a mom no matter what I wear. But I will say that Clothes Make the MILF (even if it's in my own mind).

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

The New Site

So my new site is up and running and honestly is just taking off. Tampa Bay Moms Group is a huge success. But I'm starting to get overwhelmed. I LOVE the site but it has totally taken me away from my blog and honestly almost everything else I do.

I am getting so bogged down with everything, I have been staying up 4 hours later then I normally do just to get things done and I am honestly feeling kind of alone... which is ironic since the site is a "social site" for moms. I am so glad everyone gets to go and enjoy it but it's is a huge project.

Thankfully the feedback has been great. We have had giveaways and requests for advertising and things are really taking off! So if it seems like I am ignoring my blog... Well, it's because I am. I don't want too but I am just up to my ears in alligators right now and trying to get into a routine and find some balance.

Friday, October 7, 2011

Tampa Bay Moms Group

You know, it's not always easy being a mom but it is always amazing.

I literally get way more enjoyment out of watching my goofy toddler sing and dance then I do out of any show on tv. And few things get me to smile the way I do when B gives me a hug. And nothing makes me as proud as watching my sons football team loose. Sure, I'd rather they win but I know that he always tries his best and what more can you ask for.

I love being a mom. I don't have a typical "job" but being a mom is more then that. It's a labor of love. It's an daily testament to the absolute power your kids have over you emotionally. Moms are just amazing creatures. They give life, they cultivate dreams, they encourage, care, love and more.

And because I love being a mom and have such an overwhelming respect for all moms who are out there doing their best.... I am the official sponsor of the newest and most amazing social site for moms I have ever seen...!

Ok, so me and some friends created the site... but that doesn't mean I'm not telling the truth. It is amazing. It was designed by moms for moms and every member is a part of it. In just 2 weeks the site is consistently receiving over a thousand page views each day and we have multiple new members joining daily as well.

The site was created to be a sort of facebook/social site for moms in our area but already other moms have found it and are enjoying the discussions and all the site has to offer. So I hope you take the time to check it out also.

I will still be blogging... but now that you know about the site you know why my blog posts have been a bit fewer. Now that the site is up and running that will be changing and both blog and Tampa Bay Moms Group will be growing. I hope you tag along for the ride!

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Who taught me to be a mother?

I'll make this short because I have meatballs in the oven and don't want them to burn (and not that is not some "dirty sex code" though it sounds like it could be).

Basically my mom came over for the day today. I've had a bad couple days but am doing my best to make it through this week but this event poses a potential risk to my "can do attitude". This is only an event because she almost never does visit. She doesn't live far. Only about 45 minutes away and it's not that she's working right now. She just doesn't make it this way often for whatever reasons.

I look at my moms visits with cautious optimism. I always hope we'll spend hours laughing and giggling and sharing stories like those moms on TV but since we never did that when I was younger I shouldn't expect it now. Don't get me wrong... I love my mom. I love her a lot but I know exactly what a visit with her entails.

I am sure during the visit all of my shortcoming as a parent, wife and person in general will be addressed in a some way. All the things I do wrong will be pointed out, sometimes repeatedly and in different ways. I will be the victim of scrutiny and for what? Nothing really. I just can't bring myself to change or seek the approval of a person who even if I changed the very fiber of my being and became perfect just to please would find a flaw in my perfection.

Lucky for me I'm no where near perfect. And though  insults (however sly and sneakily injected) do hurt I ultimately care little for what anyone thinks of me. I know my moms flaws. I know every one of them and was subjected to them daily for years and though now I only get small doses of them I still see them on occasion, however I don't feel the need to point them out. Why should I?

I don't feel better by making anyone feel bad even if it's done on accident. And I'm sure somewhere deep down she looks at her comments and criticisms as "tough love" or as attempts to "help improve me".  I know that on some psychological level it's just a way for her to receive some sort of validation or to overcome some trauma of long ago.

But I do get a mild dose of amusement when my mom asks repeatedly, "Who taught you to be a mother?!?" and I get to reply "No one".

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Where did her vagina go?!?!?

D had her 3 year check up today. It was supposed to be a normal check up with a few shots and wham, bam, thank you mame, we are done! But nope. Turns out that D has no vagina. Color me surprised!

Ok, she does have a vagina but it's closed. Upon examining my toddler her Dr discovered she had what is called a "Labial Adhesion". She showed me and this is what it looks like:

No, this isn't my child's va-jay-jay. It seemed kinda wrong to post my kids little baby girl bits on my blog... so I borrowed the photo from a website that I used to learn a little more about the condition. (Creepy and weird to borrow a photo like this instead of using D's but at least in 10 years if my kid ever comes back and reads my blog she won't hate me for posting it.)

So after talking to our pediatrician and doing some googling or it we have our prescription for some estrogen cream that will get the labia to separate again. The biggest risk with a labial adhesion are infections and some other funky happenings down under so we are gonna smear on the cream and open that thing back up. Ironically if left untreated the labia often separates on its own during puberty which if you ask me is right around the time a parent may want their child's vagina to disappear. Funny how that works out.

In addition to all that D is backed up like fraternity house toilet the morning after a kegger. The doc was fairly concerned about her not pooping in a week, as was I, so now she has to have an enema, miralax slipped into her juice, prunes and lots of water to get the plumbing up and working. So I slipped her the enema already and thankfully my dad came over to help. I'll tell you for growing up wrestling and my dad being a wrestling coach she was still damn hard to pin down but we got her. Now we just wait for things to "get going". If not back to the doctors we will go. Oh, not to mention she got those shots which she took like a champ but her legs are still hurting her.

So that's been my day. We lost a vagina, did some butt flushing, waited for poop and dealt with a crabby toddler. So much fun. How was yours?

Monday, September 12, 2011

No wonder she's rarely sick!

I am doing my best to give B more responsibilities. Sometimes this means giving her a task (like loading the dishwasher) that she may not do very well in which case I will usually do it over or do it over with her. I figure if I don't have her do it I'd have to do it myself anyway and at least it's teaching her some responsibility and helps with her remembering steps, etc.

So one of B's responsibilities is making her own lunch the night before school. Let me digress for a moment, her school lunches are now $3.50 and with breakfast no longer being free and clocking in at $2.50 her school meals are at least $6.00 a day! Do the math, it adds up. So with me couponing and the deals you get especially on snacks she is taking her lunch.

Now back to the story, B is making her lunches. She can take a tupperware of left overs from last nights dinner, a sandwich, whatever. It's up to her. But since I haven't been cooking anything with leftovers I figured she was hamsandwiching it up.

Yesterday after she packed her lunch and went to sleep I decided to check up on the contents of her lunch. I hadn't looked at what she was packing and since groceries are getting low because I haven't found time to get to the store in over a week I wanted to be sure this kid wasn't packing a sandwich, string cheese and ten different types of candy. I look in her bag and... there's no sandwich.

I'm not sure if she forgot or what so I figured I'll be nice and just make one for her. I grab the bread and OH MY GOD! It's hairy!!! Like growing a fu mancho on the butt of the loaf. So gross!

And then I thought about it and realized I couldn't remember the last time I bought bread because every time I made my grocery list I saw the bread sitting there and didn't add it. God only knows how long it sat there and I can't be sure of when B decided to stop making a lunch sandwich but I would wager the bread has been growing this fungus for at least a week... AT LEAST!

Now not to sound mean but B isn't the most observant child so I she very well may have been eating this crap. Add to that the time I found out she was not washing out her sandwich container but just reusing it (and yes, I found mold or something yucky and greenish-gray in there too) it makes sense to think that she has been dosing herself with some type of penicillin or something because this kid almost never gets sick!

Unfortunately I am going to have to allow her to catch some kind of bacterial funk if need be because I have thrown out the hairy loaf of bread and will be paying a bit more attention to the food she is using in her lunches and self prepared meals... and of course the containers she puts them in. Sure, my medical bills may go up... but at least the gag factor in my house will go down.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

D's Birthday Party Extravaganza

It was a long weekend that flew by way to fast. This weekend my baby turned 3!!!
And we celebrated big time!

We took the crew to Disney because  really wanted to go and had never been so the "Big 3" seemed like the perfect ocassion. It was a great day and at the risk at sounding cliche... it was magical!

D got to meet her "hero" Rapunzal. She stood in line and then she got to color a picture of Rapunzal and Flynn which she gave to Rapunzal. Rapunzal told her she would hang the photo in her palace gallery. D was thrilled. And the best part was the lin for the Rapunzal "meet and greet" was by far the longest line of the day. By that I mean even though we waited for 40 minutes... every other line was under 20! We rode everything!

 And even though there was no parade that night we did see the fireworks. D had the best seat in the house... My Neck!!!

But the fun didn't stop there. Since this was the first year that D actually understood the whole "birthday concept" about parties, cake and presents we wanted to have at least a little party for her. We invited her closest buddies and the family to Chuck E Cheese for pizza, cake games and fun. It was fun and relaxed (well as much as Chuck E Cheese can be).

It;s funny because I jolingly said I wouldn't tell her she was turning 3 since I want to get into theme parks and movies for free for a few months more but this is a kid who has been saying she's "two and seven eigths" so I don't know how I though I'd get her real age by her.  This is the little chat we had today:

D: How old am I?
Me: How old do you think you are?
D: 3
Me: What makes you think that?
D: 3 is after 2. I had a birthday and I look older like sissy.
Me: So maybe you just look old?
D: You look old. I look 3.

So not only did I not get one past my toddler but she also managed to work in an insult for me. Nice.

But as far as the Birthday Extravaganza went it was awesome. My only concern now is her expectations for next year. We did Disney because it just seemed like the perfect age (and it was) and it was a special first tiem visit and we did The Cheese because we wanted her to have some kind of get together since she actually understands what a birthday is but I hope she doesn't expect a weekend celebration every year!

Thursday, September 1, 2011

I am so not ready for this...

Many of you know my daughter is special needs. I don't want to list everything but she's 12 and basically at a 2nd grade level but she has a 15 year old body. Scary right?

She is now going to a school for special kids and has developed a crush on a boy in one of her electives. This boy is a Senior and is turning 18!!! B  is just barely 12. I don't know if this boy likes her or not in the "crush" sense and I sincerely hope he doesn't because... well she's too young and I'm just not ready for that.

The boy is having an 18th birthday party and invited B. It's in a rented location and from like 7 to 10pm which is an hour past her bedtime which isn't that big of a big deal but it just illustrates that she doesn't even stay up that late at home normally let alone for a party. Now normally I would say "No" to this without a second thought but there are a few things to consider.

1. He may honestly just like her as a friend so there is nothing "attraction wise" happening. This could be totally platonic and innocent and I honestly think that it is.

2. She has never been invited to a party like this. Honestly until she started school a few weeks ago she was always left out and she finally feels like she belongs. I'm not one to care about what others will think if she does or doesn't go but she is and it's gotta be nice to just go and have fun for once right?

3. This boy is special needs also. I don't know what is condition is but he may not be a typical 18 year old. He may be more like a 13 year old which would explain why as a 12th grader her would invite a 6th grader to his party.

4. He may be a totally typical 18 year old and if that's the case why would he invite B  to a party? She's silly and funny but kinda goofy and awkward. And if he just wants to have her come and hang out will his other friends? What if the other kids are normal and it puts her in a possibly hurtful situation?

Of course I will have to call and talk to a parent, see if I can attend the party with her and ask about the chaperon situation. But so far B's on cloud 9. She not only was invited to a party, but she was invited to a party for a boy she has a crush on. I know she will be devastated if I don't let her go but that will depend on what feedback I get from his parents when I talk to them.

I will say even though I am stressing out over this a little I am thrilled. This whole boy and party deal aside, B has friends. She is excited every day when she gets up and is all smiles every afternoon. She loves school. She is doing better both mentally and emotionally then I have ever before. I feel like this weight has been lifted... but in it's place is the prospect of situations like the party and future social scenarios that I have to figure out how to deal with. But all in all, it's a pretty good trade.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

The Truth About Santa

I can't tell you why I decided today would be the day. I have been wanting to drop this bomb for a while now and these last few days the urge has come to a head. I think it's in part because B  is in middle school and actually hangs out with High School kids now at her new school. Don't get me wrong, I am in no way saying that me being over the whole sneaking around my house in the middle of the night to hide or set up gifts and stuff had nothing to do with it. I still have to put up with the charade for D but since A who is 10 figured it out 4 years ago I figured B  at 12 was due some truth.

I had thought about video taping the talk but knowing that I wouldn't be able to resist posting it for the world to see I decided against it. This afternoon I sat her down  and told her there was no such thing as Santa. I'll be honest, I thought she may have had an inkling about this but she didn't. She was shocked. It wasn't as amusing as I thought it might be and thankfully she didn't cry or anything too dramatic. She did however want details about who ate the cookies, how the gifts got there and why the heck we fed non existent reindeer every Christmas eve.

After she called the Santa thing a "sick joke" I asked if she liked seeing him at the mall, writing letters and thinking he was real. She said yes and I told her that is why parents do it. It's not a joke or a way to make fun of the kids but it makes the Holidays even more magical. Once she understood that I went ahead and did the big reveal on the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy. She again was confused and wanted to know all the hows and whys.

I explained I was telling her now because I didn't want her to find out in a way that was hurtful, like a friend or classmate telling her and picking on her for believing or finding it out in a movie and thinking we lied to her for 12 years. I also added that she can help keep Santa and the rest of the imaginary crew alive for her sister and even though she knows the truth she should keep it to herself.

All in all it went very well. But now I feel like crap. Maybe I should have let her believe for a while longer. I mean she's only at a 7 year maturity level so would it have hurt to keep the secret for a few more years? But what if she found out at school? Would that be worse? And today seemed like a good day for it. Every other time I considered telling her it was around a holiday or she was losing a tooth and how much would that suck? Yeah, I know you just colored Easter Eggs but... Or Thanks for the letter to Santa, by the way I save them since he doesn't exist... About that tooth under your pillow, well just go ahead and hand it to me. So since no major event was going on that could traumatize her I spilled the beans. It's sad, I feel like she lost a small piece of childhood but it had to be done at some point right?  And though I feel like crap I guess I'm glad it's over with now. It's not like I am off the hook from all of it since D is only 2. I will have to go through the motions for years to come but maybe it won't be so bad with B to help now.  (And A can stop laughing at her finally.)

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

First Day of School

So today was the first day of school. I'll be honest, things didn't go exactly as I planned.

For starters James took B  and though I asked them to wake me, they didn't. Now I know they were being nice trying to let me sleep in but I wanted to see her off on the first day. No biggie, I could at least look at the picture I told James to be sure to take.

Once I finally got up I dressed for yoga. That's right! I'm going back to the old routine. So I was all ready when James said the mechanic wanted me to bring my car in. Ok, well... I did have brunch planned before yoga and since we had to drop off the car at noon, which is in the middle of the class it looks like my work out would have to wait until another day. But at least I could still have brunch!

Brunch was actually very nice up until D  had a wet fart. Yummy! I didn't realize it until I took her to potty but once I discovered her little Hershey kiss I took off her underwear, rinsed them and wrapped them up. D  was going commando but as long as she was discreet no biggie right? Well if you know my kid you are laughing right now because you know D  and discreet have nothing in common except a first initial. She didn't show everyone her va-jay-jay but on the way to the table she did tell everyone that she passed that she wasn't wearing undies. And when we got back to the table she flashed my friend by lifting her dress up to her eyebrows. Ok, that's my cue to leave.

So I then dropped off the car and came home to convert a corner of my house into a school for D . Once that was done we braved an hour long adventure to pick up B  who said she had a great day. She was so excited I barely understood a word of what she said as she told me every detail about her first day of middle school. We then took D  to gymnastics and picked up daddy. We picked up my car and went to eat with a friend. But during dinner B bit my friends son.

Here's the deal, I realize when stressed she can act erratically, and I know she can't always verbalize what she wants to but she knows not to bite!!! Basically they were playing and he wouldn't get off her and she bit him to get him off her. I asked if she felt threatened, in danger, confused, scared or even angry. She said no, she just wanted him to get up. I was so mad and embarrassed. I mean, she's 12 and he's 7. I sear with this girl sometimes it's like 1 step forward and 5 steps back. Well, she is grounded now over it but I am still in shock.

Anyway we then came home and after the nightly fight to get D asleep I asked James for B's first day of school photo to post but... he forgot! I feel like 8 years of work is gone. Sure he'll snap one tomorrow but it's not the same. At least it may make for an interesting note in the scrapbook so I am trying to not be too upset. So here I am blogging. Things didn't go as planned today. Pretty far from it but I feel like I am getting better at these curve balls life keeps throwing at me. No one plans to have to take the car in, no one plans to have their kid bit a friends kid but I am trying to stay calm and just keep on going and today I did ok. Tomorrow hopefully I'll do the same if not better but you never know!

Sine I don't have a photo of B on her first day of school here is a photo of D on her first day in her "School Corner". Unfortunately she prefers being under the desk rather than sitting at it but at least she is still doing her work. And by the time she's in school she'll be a pro at the tornado drill. What a weirdo.

Dance Bag

D is taking dance class this year and needs a bad to hold her ballet and tap shoes. I decided not to spend the $20 buck on a store bought bag so I made her a bag. I went a little crazy on the embellishments so the bag actually ended up costing the same as if I had bought it at a store but that's ok. It was fun to do and looks awesome. The pictures actually just don't do it justice.

I would normally give directions but it's so easy you wouldn't need them. It's just iron-on appliques from the craft store, a blank canvas bag and tulle. I used fabric glue because I was too lazy to sew. You just set them where you want on your bag (or whatever item  you are creating like an apron, shirt, etc.) and lay a thing cotton piece of material (you can buy these, but I just use old cloth diapers) and iron according to the directions on your iron-ons. Super easy right?

But if you want a bag (apron, hat or anything) and don't want to make it yourself, contact me to order one. They can be customized in anyway for any activity or interest.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Auto Drama

What a day! (And it's not even over yet!)

So with the big kids going back to school tomorrow, today was the official start of "D and Mommy Days". Since the big kids are home today they got to hang with us.

D started the morning with circle time (which was her sitting on a mat in front of me) followed by doing workbook pages. I'm taking it easy with things this week since I figured we'd have to adjust to new schedules and such. So I decided to have her work on colors, shapes and basic writing. She was quick to tell me she already knew all these things so I tried to explain the concept of practicing but it didn't work. Bribing with stickers did however.

After that we went to story time at the library and she really enjoyed it. We checked out books and had fun! Then on to last minute uniform shopping. B  no longer fits into the shorts I bought her not even a month ago and they had no more of the next size up so I had to order them. This means she has no shorts for school and will have to wear long pants. Poor kid is going to be so hot.

On the way home my air conditioning on my car went out.  Hello?!?!? Florida!!! It was a miserable drive home. Here is the deal with the car... I bought my 2002 SUV about 6 years ago. Before the 2 year mark the engine went out and we paid $5000 to replace it. Yes, you read right, 5k! In the last 3 years we have had an annual repair of some sort for an average of $800.

Last month, four months after the last $800 repair, I finally paid this puppy off. I had the idea of putting the monthly payment aside and save it for a down payment on a new car once the hubsters car was paid off.

If it lasted a year I'd be ok, 2 I'd be happy, 3 I'd grow wings and fly! But not even a month after I sent in my final payment my ac went out. There's another $900 repair. The place fixed what they thought was wrong but it keeps going out! Today was the 5th time. They said last time we took it in if it happens again we may need to replace the compressor which will cost about $1500.

So now I am home, blogging my frustrations instead of doing one of about 20 things I need to get done by tomorrow because I can't stand to see my kids dripping sweat in the back seat.

Now I have to decide if I want to just get a new car and keep having two car payments (and gas, and insurance, etc) or share hubby's (which I absolutely hate) or just roll around in a hotbox and see if my kids can actually melt. If it were winter I could make it another few months since heat seems fine but this is Florida. It won't start to get cold for at least 3 months and what am I supposed to do until then?

No matter what, we have to figure ou some solution, be it temporary or not, by tomorrow because school starts, James has work, A has football practice, D has gymnastics, I still have errands to run and that's not even the entire to list. Grrr!

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Walmart = Retail Cesspool

What is it about Walmart that makes it the culmination of society's nastiest and most ignorant people? It's like a Retail Cesspool.

Seriously! I don't think there is anyone in America that hasn't been in a Walmart. And why would there be? There is a Wally World or ten in every city. They are not only convenient but also one of the cheapest places to buy anything, (not just in price but in quality as well). And the fact that you can get school uniforms, toilet paper, hardware and mulch all in one trip has it's benefits. But in spite of the one-stop shopping and rock bottom prices I loathe the place.

On top of it all, they let you return just about anything with a bar code! No receipt? No problem! They'll give you a store credit! This works out great for me since I always lose things but it also works great for the dirt bag that returned a toy after after stealing it and taking out some pieces (presumably to replace ones they themselves lost)  that Walmart re shelved and I just bought. Sure half of what I buy has been opened or returned for defects and then restocked or even just a piece of crap that breaks within one use. It was a great deal! Or so you think until you realize the trip cost you quadruple the price of the item in gas from having to come back to exchange it and lord only knows how much in therapy because some of the employees and many of the patrons have pushed you that much closer towards your future nervous breakdown.

I don't know why I keep going there. Oh yeah, it's because of all the things I've mentioned above and what seems to be a total disregard to my own well being! Are the "Roll Back Prices" really worth my sanity? Well after yet another trying attempt at shopping the answer is an emphatic NO!

It was my fault really. I know not to go into Walmart within a week of any major event. This includes holidays and in today's case... the start of school. But like the hard headed idiot I am I packed up the 3 kids and decided to brave the masses on a peak time during the weekend. (Maybe I have suicidal tendencies?)

Don't get me wrong. Not every person in Walmart (be it employee or customer) is an undereducated trashbag. But those who are negate the fact that there may actually be intelligent life in the building. After all stupid can be much more powerful than smart and when in Walmart this is ever apparent. Why? Because stupid is contagious!!! I caught it today when I got into and argument with these twins. Not only did they look like they just stumbled out of a crack house but they had bad attitudes to boot. And sure, everyone has a right to be ugly and gross but to have two of these schmucks walking around seems almost unfair to everyone else that has to see them.

People in Walmart fall into 3 categories. One is the generally nice pleasant and polite group that go in, share the aisles, smile and make being stuck in a line behind them completely bearable. But they are rarely the problems. The problems are the other two groups. These are the people that either walk like they are on a mission and all who cross there path will be torn asunder (or at least rammed with a cart). They have the look of some internal turmoil gleaming in their eye and the faint smell of someone looking for a fight. The others people meander slowly if not lethargically down the aisles coming to complete stops in the middle of intersections as they mull over some mindless thought that has managed to find it's way into their tiny little brain. The latter of these are annoying but pose no real threat to anything other than my patience. The former however was behind me in the check out line.

Needless to say after shopping and dealing with 3 kids (who weren't bad so much as just tired) I got into a check out line already worn out feeling defeated by the day. I began loading my things onto the belt and these two women squawk "You just cut us in line". Here's the thing...  How did I manage to get three kids, a cart and myself up to a check out and load six items on the belt if these two women were in line? Not likely but I rarely go looking for an argument so I turned around to see to identically ugly old trashy looking twins behind me. I was actually polite when I told them I didn't know they were in line.

I didn't have an attitude, in fact I honestly didn't care if they went ahead of me... until they began to curse in front of my kids, saying that they were looking at their coupons when I cut in front of them. Again, I wasn't looking for a problem and had they been of the same mind no one would have found one. But to mistake my manners and general easy going attitude as being weak is a mistake of epic proportions. So I said that it was uncalled for to cuss at me in front of my kids. They decided that because I said this calmly and politely I was meek and wouldn't do anything. WRONG!  No one cusses in front of my kids except me!!!

I proceeded to go into a 5 minute tirade of insults and profanities while the poor cashier and guy checking out in front of me starred on with open mouths and wide eyes. At first they tried to scream over me but I only raised my voice loud enough so I know they could hear it and basically gave them a verbal beat down ending with them shutting their mouths and not making eye contact with me again.

Again, I would rather not fight with anyone, especially with my kids present, but not wanting to argue or fight doesn't mean can't or won't. Once it was obvious that they were done and staying quiet I went back to loading my items, bought the kids a drink, made small talk with the cashier and loaded my bags in the cart. As I was leaving one of them decided to make another comment. I turned and smiled and said I hope they have a horrible day, and "Be careful leaving the store because it would be a shame if they walked out at the same time I drove by distracted." I then left and just for giggles waited taking my time loading and packing my car and returning the cart... just to see if they came right out after me. They didn't. They must have stayed inside for at least 10 minutes so after I couldn't reasonably stall any longer without the kids wondering why I left.

Now am I proud of how I acted? Not really. My kids hear me cuss and say things they know they shouldn't say but to watch me launch a verbal assault probably won't win me any "parent of the year" awards. But I am also glad that as this all went down they just kinda laughed or smiled. On the drive home I explained that I lost my temper but they both said they were embarrassed up until the point I said something back. I told them starting fights isn't a good thing but sticking up for yourself is but I also told them better ways to handle situations like that. Did they actually learn anything? Probably not (unless don't push mom too far was a lesson they needed to learn). But I learned something...

NEVER GO BACK TO WALMART. They money I save may have to be used to bail me out of jail.

(Apologies to any Walmart customers or employees who are not brainless pieces of garbage,this is not a slight at you, just me venting. And thank you for not being a blight of the retail world.)

And if you want a good laugh at the "Retail Giant" and some of it's customers, check out: