Too Exposed?

Argh! So this blog is my personal blog. It has everything in it from projects with my kids to how pissed off some people make me. It's whatever happens to be on my mind at any given time.

I don't keep it a secret though I wish I did because I have had friends and family read my posts and call going "What the hell?!?!". But you know what? It's my blog! It's my shit, it's all about me and what I want to post so if you don't like it stop reading!

But even though this is for me... I have finally admitted I may be a bit too "exposed".

I have photos of my kids, their real names, real stories (sometimes embarrassing) about them and real posts about me and I am always honest so it doesn't always put me in the most positive light.

I make mistakes, I cuss, I am flawed. But I am me. Yet just because I have an over abundance of candor doesn't mean I should force my kids, family and friends to be exposed right along with me.

So I'm reigning it in. I will still be me, open, honest and imperfect... but I will try to be more considerate when bitching about someone or sharing a story that may not be mine to share or sharing a story that is mine but may show someone else in a less than flattering light. I will try my damnedest to keep my integrity and not sacrifice the actual story. But shit, it may be hard. Obviously I don't plan to watch my mouth too much. (Ironically if anyone ever heard me talk in person they would realize just how toned down my language is on this blog.)

So I have gone back and made a few changes to older posts.

I don't mind being exposed... but I will try not to expose others. (Unless they really deserve it.)

Let's learn about Hands!

I don't post every little thing I do with the kids... but when I have one of my "I'm a super mom moments" like I did this week I want to share it. So when I mentioned my project this week to a friend of mine she really wanted me to post it. And of course I have lots of photos to go along with it!

 

In D's Pre-PreK homeschooling we work on basics like letters, numbers, parts of speech, and each week we have 2 "special subjects".  So our first Special Subject this week was "Hands & Fingers".

 

We sang "Where is Thumbkin" and talked about what we use our hands and fingers for. Some of her answers were to grab, hold, scratch, dig and point. Then we added some less obvious uses like to feel. Feel if something is soft, sharp, hot. They can warn us when something is dangerous. They let us show affection with high fives, hugs and let us communicate with sign language and we learned a few basic signs (which she once knew from baby signs and didn't remember at all!).

 

So for Science Project we used vanilla pudding with food coloring.

The purpose was:

1. To investigate how we used our hands to find gummies and candies hiding in the pudding and to see if we could identify which was which by touch alone.

2. See how mixing our basic colors we could find new colors like chartreuse, magenta, etc.

3.  And get creative painting (and of course eating) our pudding paint.

 

 

To keep things neat I used a cookie sheet. Just take a 4 pack of Snack Pack pudding and scoop it onto the tray and have you or your little one drop a squirt of food coloring onto each pile.  We used blue and red for purple, red and yellow for orange... you get the idea. We went for a basic ROYGBV pallet. Now make sure they don't look while you sneak in some gummies and small candy (we used Pez).

 

Then she started mixing them to make new colors and as she did she found gummies and Pez candies. She had to guess by touch which was which and if she got it right she got to eat it! 

 

She learned that besides smooshing the candy to see which was which (obviously gummies are softer than Pez) she could feel the shape since Pez are ovals. She also found out if you drag the Pez on the tray it makes a scraping sound and the gummies don't.

 

 

And an extra bonus was her tongue turning colors. Oddly her fingers didn't get dyed so that was a plus. 

 

She quickly dug out the hidden goodies and then used a paintbrush to see if it was easier to make lines using her fingers or a brush.

 

 She decided her hand was easier because she could move it easier and it was easier to lick her fingers.

 

 

Next up we made finger puppets! Seriously... you can come up with soooo many crafts if you have wire cleaners, pom-poms and googly eyes! Now honestly this project was a little hard especially since I learned a while ago when gluing pom-poms a hot glue gun works best so she designed them and laid them out and I glued them together. (And yes, I got burned a few times.) It was a joint effort in assembly but she still loved them!

 

These ones have a spiral base so you can pop them on your fingers. We will probably be doing more of these at Easter (I'm thinking bunnies and chicks).  

 

These were basically the same concept but instead or wrapping around the finger  they turn the hand into a mouth. I think these would be cute in with antlers for Christmas reindeer so I may give that a go in a couple months.  

 

So the end result... another totally awesome subject logged and in the books! Next up is "Feet & Legs" so I'll be trying to figure out something on that for the rest of the week tonight! But considering I'm podophobic my expectations aren't too high.

 

 

 



School of Morons

I hate my sons school. I know that sounds harsh but I hate it. A started there last year and no shit, I have never been happy with a single thing they have done.

It honestly concerns me to have my sons education in the hands of complete idiots.

And it's not that I haven't tried. I joined the PTA, chaired committees, volunteered but they don't make it easy. (See Mommy Cliques)

Last year I was at a PTA meeting and was asked to connect the tables and move chairs so everyone could sit. When I had all but one final chair moved the PTA president told me not to sit there since the table seats were for board members. Nice, so I can shuffle furniture for the PTA but I'm not good enough to sit. Nice. I can't tell you how bad I wanted to take the final chair and throw it in her face but thankfully I just left it there and walked away. And even when there were plenty of chairs left they never offered me or any of the "new parents' one. Way to make us feel welcomed.

During a fundraising event I got several donations for a raffle but was told that the event wasn't about making money and we couldn't do it. Ok, well what's the point of a fundraiser if not to RAISE FUNDS?!?!

Later on while planning an event the question of how to mix lemonade came up. They wanted to buy gallons of water to mix it up. It seemed wasteful so I asked why not use the faucet water? After all, the kids drink from it all day right? You would have thought I asked them to use the toilet water from the reaction I got! So needless to say the Mommy Mafia PTA bought water.

On another day my son who walks to my car so I don't have to get out with the toddler went walking to me at dismissal only to have some cow teacher or staff grab him by his backpack. From across the street I saw him pointing at me so I got out of my car and waved so they knew I was his ride. She refused to let him go! I yelled that I need him to cross the to me (like he has done every other day without incident) and she said I had to get in the pick up line. What, you mean the line that is 45 minutes long? The line that will cause me to be late to pick up my other kids since it is stretched about a half mile? Not today lady. So I yelled I had to go now and need my son. It wasn't until I pulled D out of the car and walked to her that she actually let him go. I told him to get in the car and she had the balls to throw up her hand and say "Listen Honey,". But that's all she got out because flipping your hand at me and throwing condescending shit my way is a good way to force me to make you cry. I also reported the cow lady to the school but honestly don't think it did any good.

Plus the teachers are a bit anal with their requirements (a 5 page syllabus? What's that about?). And they do not allow parents to pop in before or after school to talk. Or the $190 in school supplies that I bought and doesn't even cover everything he needs (See School Supply Insanity). And though that is no where near all the bullshit I deal with at this school it's a small example.

And then there was today. Oh today!!! What assholes. Thank God I had signed B out of her school early because with hers getting out at 3:15 (with pick up by 3:30) I would  have been screwed. There is not enough parking and they will call a tow truck (they as in the school) if you park at the neighboring businesses. So this creates a huge issue. Throw in that the car line as I said before is a 45 minute line unless you are there a hour early so I was lucky to pull in as someone was pulling out so I got a spot.

I decided since I had B with me to walk up to the school. School let out (at 3pm) and... no kids came out. Odd right? So standing there with no shade in the blaring Florida sun and blistering heat B and I cooked waiting for A to come out.

As parents surrounded the doors I almost started to panic. Was something wrong? Did something happen? Nope. They were dismissing using "rainy day procedures". Odd thing was... THERE WAS NO RAIN!!! Not even a dark cloud. Hell, there weren't really any clouds at all. WTF?!?!?

So for no known reason they were dismissing the kids ONE AT A TIME!!! Now though this pissed me off and I was surrounded by other pissed off parents I had B with me so it wasn't a catastrophe but had she been at her school it easily could have been. And to make matters worse it was not just disorganized but the principal and teachers were being so damn rude!!!

I honestly don't know how much more of this school I can take. It is driving me nuts. There are a few people who are really nice, positive and intelligent but they are they minority by far. I swear he's going to a school of morons and it's only a matter of time before he becomes one himself.

Big Time Ass at the BTR Concert

Last night was the Big Time Rush concert. Like an idiot I decided to take B to the concert. It's one of those things where I know I am going to be miserable but her enjoyment is worth it (even if just barely).

Since misery enjoys company I dragged along Kathryn and her daughter and a friend of theirs. It stormed all afternoon leading up the the concert. Not the kind of weather you are hoping for at an Amphitheater, especially when you have lawn seats. Since last concert we went to there was rained out I was worried but also strangely hopeful (if it was cancelled I was off the hook and got a refund!). But no such luck. The prayers of hundreds of teen girls prevailed and the weather was actually perfect. The show would go on.

The concert wasn't terrible either. B danced, sang and even cried the tears of a unrequited love for a pop star. The only problem was I set up our area and along comes "one of those people" who sites just behind me.

You know who I mean. The obnoxious person that I always seem to run into. I don't know if I exude some sort of "idiot attraction pheromone" but they always seem to find me. I run into them mostly at Walmart but this one was right here next to me with her kid... and damn was she drunk!!!

What kind of white trash lush goes to a kids concert to get hammered?!?!? She was dancing (aka stumbling) and singing (aka slurring) and her poor kid was begging her with tears in her eyes to stop and sit. And this freak job kept bitching saying "Just wait till I take you to Godsmack and don't let you do anything but sit!". Um... maybe you shouldn't be taking your 8 year old to Godsmack you moron!!!

But even with her bitching she'd sit down and shortly get up (which that alone was amusing to watch) and start thrashing around dancing again. At one point she bumped into her kid and knocker her over the rope that separates the "lawn seating" from a big ass incline to the normal seats. How this inebriated women was able to grab her kid before she rolled down the hill "Princess Bride Style" and pull her back over the rope was fairly impressive.

But this woman was so intoxicated and with her husband doing nothing about it and her kid begging her to stop I found myself hoping she'd hit my kid or me so I'd have reason to clock her! And honestly she was so drunk that it wouldn't have taken much for her to pass out.

I am all for being goofy and embarrassing my kid but this woman was embarrassing herself just as much.

So I spent most of my time playing on the iPhone and hoping for this woman to pass out. There are just some things you shouldn't have to deal with at a concert for kids. I never expected to find a big time ass at the Big Time Rush Show but you never know where "one of those people" will find you!

Pre-Pre-K School

D has an early September birthday. This has pros and cons. On the good side we have her being with me for a whole extra year. On the bad we have her all alone with me while all her friends went on to pre-k this year. So since I already work with her at home with a curriculum of sorts we just started back up. We are covering some of what we did last year with a few tweaks to make it new and a bit harder for her.

This is her "home school".

 

Week one of my "pre-pre-k" home school with D went really well. We worked again on the letter A, the number 1 and had lessons on "All About Me", "My Body", and "Humpty Dumpty".

When we did All About Me we made a scrapbook all about D. It was full of things she liked, her hand print, finger print, she even picked out images from the Internet to include in lists of her favorites.

When we worked on My Body we went over the less known parts or her body (like shin, calf, wrist). She laid down on the driveway and I traced her body and we labeled the parts. Then we made paper dolls using a template I found on about.com. We discussed where each part of clothes she made goes on the body and why we wear it. Then we played a game where we dressed the doll for the seasons.

Today we did Humpty Dumpty. I turned it into a creative arts project. We took a raw egg and using a needle I put a hole in the top and bottom and blew all the guts out. She then decorated her very own Humpty Dumpty.

While she was doing that I was hard boiling eggs so we could make "Humpty Dumpty Scrambled Eggs".

First she built them a wall. She'd place an egg on top of the wall each time and when we sang the part where he had a great fall she would knock him over. As we did it I asked why she thinks the egg fell? How could we keep it from cracking? Is there a way to put it back together again?

 

Then she rolled the cracked eggs around and peeled them with me. Once they were all naked I cut the in half and put the yolk in a bowl with mayo, mustard, garlic salt and onion powder. She mixed all the ingredients.  

 

Next it was time to put Humpty together again... so she stuffed the egg halves with the mixture all on her own. It was a mess but she loved it. The trickiest part was keeping her from eating it all before we they were all stuffed!

 

 

We also made a book on Humpty Dumpty where she colored the pictures of Humpty on a wall, Humpty falling, Humpty cracked and then Humpty fixed. She put them in order, First, next, then, last and we made a book with a slightly different rhyme:

 

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.

Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.

But Humpty did not cry.

He did not scream. Do you know why?

With a little tape, and a bit of glue...

He fixed himself up. Good as New!

 



 



 We also made a super cute craft for the letter A and to help with adding and subtraction that I stole from www.preschoolalphabet.blogspot.com .

 

I changed ours up by doubling the monkeys and we each made a clothespin alligator. So when we roll dice we have to add or subtract that number. And of course you can sing the 5 Little Monkeys song and just take one away each time!

And we mad a clay ant out of Crayola Model Magic clay!

All in all it was both a very educational and fun week for both D and I! I don't know what I'll do next year when she's at school. Man I'll miss this.

 

School Supply Insanity

My son goes to a charter school and when I got his supply list I was honestly sick to my stomach.

It seems every year the supply lists for school get worse and worse. And my sons school this year is outrageous!!!

And as if the overall amount of stuff they want isn't enough... they are extremely brand and volume specific!!!

Throw in the fact that we still have to buy his textbooks, workbooks, reading books, project supplies as they approach those subjects and lessons throughout the year... and the school wants a "highly encouraged $500 donation". Plus of course book bag, uniforms and I'm about ready to scream.


With using coupons and going to 4 different stores we clocked in just under $190.00.

Here is the list for the items to bring on the first day of 6th grade for the 2012-2013 year:

• 1 4oz Elmer's washable Gel school glue
• 4 small Elmer's washable glue sticks (approx 1/4oz)
• 1 roll of Scotch tape with plastic dispenser
• 1 roll of masking tape (1" width)
• 1 pair of Student-sized Fiskars or Wescott scissors (age 12+)
• 1 family-sized (rectangular) box of Kleenex tissues
• 6 rolls of Bounty paper towels
• 3 containers of Clorox Wipes (35ct)
• 1 8oz bottle of Dial antibacterial liquid hand soap
• 1 12oz Lysol disinfecting spray (any scent)
• 1 Glade Scented oil Plu-Ins refill (any scent)
• 3 dozen #2 Ticonderoga pencils
• 1 pencil sharpener with cover to catch shavings
• 1 Papermate "Pink Pearl" eraser (2"x3/4")
• 1 dz Bic Blue pens
• 1 dz Bic Black pens
• 1 dz Bic Red pens
• 1 wooden ruler
• 1 compass
• 1 protractor w/ angle guide
• 1 pkg of Daisy paper plates (at least 50ct)
• 1 pkg of napkins (at least 250 ct)
• 1 pkg of assorted plastic utensils (forks, knives and spoons at least 24 ct)
• 1 pkg of 3x5 lined white index cards (100ct)
• 1 pkg of 4x6 lined white index cards (100ct)
• 1 pack of Crayola colored pencils (24ct)
• 2 yellow highlighters
• 2 black Sharpie markers
• 12 Thick Expo dry erase markers (low order) (assorted colors)
• 1 Expo dry erase eraser
• 1 8oz bottle of Expo dry erase cleaner
• 1 Vis a Vis overhead transparency marker
• 1 box of gallon-size Ziploc bags
• 1 pack of washable, thin "Classic Colors" Crayola markers
• 1 pack of washable, thick "classic Colors" Crayola markers
• 10 heavy duty page protectors
• 6 large White posterboards
• 1 large White foamboard
• 3 pkgs of Mead wide ruled notebook paper (150 sheets)
• 1 composition book -- not spiral (approc 9 3/4'x" 1/2", 100 sheets, black & white cover only)
• 1 dz medium binder clips (1 1/4")
• 1 dz large binder clips (2")
• 1 box of small (regular size) paperclips (100ct)
• 1 box of jumbo (large size) paperclips (100ct)
• 1 box of standard staples 1/4", 5000ct)
• 1 bottle of Wite-Out
• 1 1-subject spiral notebook (any color)
• 3 4oz pkgs of White Crayola Model Magic
• 1 pack of construction paper (9":x12", at least 50 sheets, assorted colors)
• 1 heavy-duty, white binder with clear overlay (3" size)
• 1 ser of 5ct tabbed dividers
• 1 pkg of graph paper with binder holes (8 1/2"x11", 50ct)
• 1 box of medium size, non-latex, powder free gloves (100ct)
• 2 blue folders with 3 prongs and 2 pockets (plastic/poly)
• 2 yellow folders with 3 prongs and 2 pockets (plastic/poly)
• 2 red folders with 3 prongs and 2 pockets (plastic/poly)
• 2 green folders with 3 prongs and 2 pockets (plastic/poly)
• 2 purple folders with 3 prongs and 2 pockets (plastic/poly)
• 1 roll of Bounty paper towels (for the clinic)

Again, this is just what he needs to bring on the first day and doesn't include his textbooks and other stuff!

I realize every child is entitled to a free education but they also have to have the supplies to work... this is just excessive! Brand specific for #2 pencils?

I think if they plan to be this specific they should buy the items themselves and get a bulk discount and have each family pay a set amount. But then again it could work out worse since we wouldn't have coupons or be able to comparison shop.

I just can't help but think... this is too much. It's insane!

You never leave a doctor feeling better.

Today I took B in for her 1 year check up.

They asked her to fill out a form on her own asking her questions that she may not want to have me hear and the form stated that her answers would be kept confidential... FROM ME.

I thought there may be a chance that I wouldn't be ok with her filling out a form privately that I would not be privileged to but since she couldn't make out most of the words on the page I had to help her anyway so my possible issue was moot. And not only could she barely read the damn thing... she didn't even understand many of the things when I read it to her such as the questions "Have you ever knowingly inhaled concentrated chemicals to get high?". She couldn't figure out why she would breath while focusing on chemicals and how that would get her "high". Thanks a lot Doc. Now I have to explain huffing to my kid. So I did and we had the whole homonym discussion where I explain that some words sound or are spelled alike and have different meanings.

Then we had the question "Have you ever had sex?" followed by "Could you be pregnant?". Her response... "That's not appropriate to ask a child!". Well I couldn't agree more... but sadly it's often a necessary questions.

See my kid knows drugs are bad though she doesn't know all the terminology for and methods of getting high. She also knows the bare essentials of sex because she knows it's something you do only when you are married. Now this isn't because we are a family of prudes... or I'm such a great mom that my kids moral compass is pointing due north at all times. It's because she's special needs and we try to K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple Sweetie) when it comes to this stuff. And at this point in her life she accepts what we say so we are going to roll with it.

So once the questionnaire was out of the way I tossed her a pamphlet on "Puberty in Girls" and couldn't help but chuckle as she gasped at the photos. Then she asked me what "s-o-r-e" spelled and I told her and she gasped again. I asked her what was wrong and she says in a terrified questioning way "My boobs will go away?!?!". What the hell is she reading? So she reads it out loud to me. "It says 'Some girls breast will get sore but it will go away'"... and she looks at me hoping for reassurance which I was happy to give. "B, when you go through puberty sometimes your boobs get sore... and the soreness goes away. NOT YOUR BOOBS!" You can't imagine her relief.

So a little while later the Dr comes in and turns out B needs to get her eyes retested because they weren't looking so hot. Great... glasses for a kid who can't make it a school year without lossing her backpack. This should be fun.

The Dr then says she doesn't expect B to grow anymore. This took me by surprise because I always thought she was on the tall side but when I was shown her growth chart it was there in pink and blue spaghetti graph lines... she has only grown about 2 inches in the last few years. YIKES!

The Dr explains that girls don't often grow much more once they get their period. Well... that sucks for my kid who got hers at 10!!! Now my daughter is freaking out because she is going to be short. Well... there are worse things to happen but maybe not when you are 13. I do plan to do a bit more research on this...

But in the meantime B has once again stated how she really doesn't like going to the Dr. She says, and I'd have to agree, "You never leave there feeling better and isn't that the reason you go?"

The Vacations is Over

Yep, the vacation is over alright. We were only gone for like 5 days or something and it was great... but (and isn't there always a but?) it had it's hitches.

Let's ignore the fact that the cleaning service in the room was morally opposed to dusting knick knacks and the fact that the spare linens on the pull out couch were pretty dingy. The room other than that (and the lack of toilet paper) was still nice and since it was a condo rented from the owners there really wasn't anyone to call to come dust or bring up t.p. (though luckily knowing how hubby shits about 4 times a day I had the foresight to bring several extra rolls).

We went to the beach, sat by the pool, swam and ate to our hearts content (I think I personally ate more in food then what we paid for the condo)... but every day I had some sort of physical issue.

Night one I found myself with the most violent case of indigestion ever. I felt like an alien baby was trying to scratch it's way out of my chest.

Night two I had a headache that felt like the aforementioned alien baby crawled into my brain since it couldn't make it out my chest.

Night three I developed a rash on my stomach, thighs, armpits and boobs. I'm allergic to UV rays so the fact that I made it 3 days before my polymorphic light eruption hit was actually quiet an accomplishment.

Night four left me feeling like someone was playing hopscotch on my back all night with a pair of metal cleats thanks to the worst matress ever!

Throw in a few other cases of heartburn, some chaffing in spots I shouldn't mention thanks to a quickie we tried to squeeze in while the kids were watching TV (and that only lasted maybe 5 minutes tops), some razor burn from over shaving combined with salt, sand and sun and possibly the quickie and even a few hives and some swelling in my mouth from some unknown ingested allergen and medically I was a wreck.

But honestly none of that messed up the vacation.

Not even the little trivial shit that popped up on the website including some wackadoo bitching about a member posting their copyrighted shit on the site brought me down. But whilst on that subject let me add that yes the person did copy an entire story from another site... but they included the original sites name, address, author and 5 links back. But whatever. I deleted it so who cares. I just felt bad for the chick from our site... and I was honestly a little pissed because I know for a fact that many people visited their site because of their shit being shared WITH LINKS on mine. Whatever.

But still though that all got my bikini in a bunch it didn't ruin the trip. In fact... NOTHING DID!!! Sure we had some kinks but seriously it was awesome. We had fun and even through my itching, burning, swelling and pain I really enjoyed myself.

So upon our arrival home we open the door to a mess left by my dad a.k.a. the house sitter. The kids start bickering. There is somewhere in the neighborhood of 100 emails for the site and 300 for my personal stuff and a loonnngggg list of things to dos. Had the drive home not been the hint I needed it is now obvious... THE VACATION IS OVER.

Knit a Dick

I'm the very first to admit that I'm a little left of center. I tend to have a crude sense of humor and that humor often ventures over to "the dark side". So when I found a new knitting pattern for a cock n balls... well I got a small thrill. Not in a sexual way of course but in a mischievous "can't wait to whip this out at the stitch n bitch meet up" kind of way.

Here is what the pattern makes. Click on the photo to get a download of the pattern. 

Not only can I knit myself a penis... but I have a variety of sizes to choose from! And best of all the pattern was free.And it includes handy tips on how to make the balls feel more realistic! And after all, if the balls don't feel realistic what's the point? I may add a pipe cleaner to the middle of my shaft that way I can pose it!  I plan to knit up a batch of these and leave them in friends purses, on restaurant tables and various other places just to share the fun.

Now if a free standing shalong isn't your thing you can add one to your favorite stuffed animal or make a full x-rated teddy bear.

What a fun way to start that awkward anatomy conversation you have been trying to have with your kid. And if you are in the market for the perfect baby shower gift... You've got it!!! Wait till junior starts sucking on that! If only they had a matching vagina.

Crreeeeeepppppyyyy!

This blog is for me.

So, I have yet again been neglecting my blog. I'd apologize to my followers but I removed them so I can't see them. Why you may ask? Well, I don't want them. Don't get me wrong, I love getting support for my many issues as well as the pissy comments and emails that I laugh at but this blog isn't what I want it to be.

It started just as a way for me to vent because I was honestly lonely from being new to staying home. The it morphed into something else. It stopped being my hobby and became work. I started caring about how many page views or followers I had. I did giveaways just to get more fans. I started posting for other people and not me. I linked things on facebook and twitter! I didn't post things because I didn't think my followers would like it. And I also let everyone know it was my blog so then I had to be careful about what I said.

So I don't feel like starting the blog thing over but I am probably going to remove some posts because I don't feel like keeping tomato giveaways. Sorry. And it's not that I don't want people to read this because I don't care if they do. I just don't want to do it with the sole purpose of having people read it. Does that make sense? I think so.

I stopped focusing on me and my blog and started focusing on my social networking site and honestly I love it but I need this and I put it on the back burner. I missed posting so much.

So no more followers. People read this then fine if not fine too. If you think a post is about you and you don't like it stop reading or leave a mean comment that I can delete but I may disable comments all together. I haven't decided yet. But I will do what I want from now on because this blog is for me.

B's Speech

Today is B's birthday. I am officially the mother of a teenager. But considering she doesn't generally behave like a teen I'm not worried about the parenting stuff that comes along with teenagers... yet. I have enough to deal with with this kid. But it's not all bad. In fact, it's mostly great. Especially with moments like we had tonight.

B goes to a school for special needs kids. Tonight was the awards banquet for the athletes. We enjoyed a nice dinner put on by the culinary arts students and then on to the awards. Each coach was called up to introduce themselves, their team and pass out awards.

Coach after coach went up. Student after student walked on stage, took their award and went back to their seat. But then B's coach, Coach D, was called up to the podium. On her way down the aisle B stopped her. I don't know exactly what she was saying to her coach but I had to pull her gently away and tell her to wait until after the ceremony. B said she wanted to thank her. I said that's nice but to wait.

When Coach D went to the stage she said a few words about the amazing cheerleaders and thanked the parents for their support. Then she called the first girl who got her award and returned to her seat. Next was B. B walked on stage, took her award from the athletic director and began to have a discussion. Coach D went on with calling the next girl and B walked behind the podium AND STOOD THERE!

Now every other kid just went up, took their kudos, shook a hand and sat back down. But there B stood. My mind was racing. Did she think she was supposed to stay on stage? Was she just confused? Hubby and I could only speculate as to what she was standing there for. We were both nervous and honestly a little scared. We tried to signal to her to come sit back down but she was smack dab in the middle of the stage and we were in the far back corner. So I did what any good mother would do... I whipped out my camera and ran video.

When Coach D was done the athletic director whispered to her and she announced that B would like to say a few words. I honestly thought she was going to announce to the room it was her birthday or something. I didn't know what was going to happen! Here is the video. Sorry for the poor quality. I hadn't anticipated a speech.

B gave an acceptance speech. It wasn't rehearsed. It wasn't even planned. It was however heartfelt. She thanked her friends, her parents and thankfully didn't thank the academy. Her teachers and the school staff along with all the parents and students listened and smiled as she went on. It was short and sweet and she walked off the stage to thunderous applause.

Now this school is used to kids not always doing what is expected. No one stopped her and everyone supported her. And I was so proud. Ok, it was totally scary. I was so surprised I literally laughed until I cried and the more I cried the more I laughed. I looked around and her teachers were laughing too.

B did ask why we were laughing and I told her it was such a pleasant surprise we couldn't hold it in.



I just can't convey in here our total shock and how hysterically funny it was to watch my kid be the only kid to decide to give a speech. But it made everyone feel good and I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. And I have a feeling people who were there will smile when they think about it.

So for B's 13th birthday she gave a lot of people the gift of a great memory.

B hugging her trophy! 

My separation anxiety

I think I am suffering from some sort of separation anxiety or something like that.

It started last year when my best friend went back to work because she was going through a divorce. Then the same thing happened to another friend and she moved 45 minutes away and started working and dating. Then another friend moved far as hell away. Then when school started some friends put their kids in school or preschool and found "kid free" ways to busy themselves. Now several of my friends including one of my best friends is going back to school and wanting to start a career of some kind. Then there is the handful of other friends that instead of sending kids off to school they are having another baby. A 4 year difference in age makes play dates a bit hard and when you have a baby you generally want to hang around others with babies.

Let me be selfish here. I feel abandoned and angry. I don't "work" outside the home. I just don't want to at this point in my life. I have 3 kids and am married so partying on the weekends isn't an option. I don't want to go back to school, I didn't really like it the first time and I don't know what I want to be other then my current idea of becoming a yoga instructor. During the week I have a toddler in tow almost all the time so I can't always go for a mani/pedi or other non kid friendly activity. I do understand a parent who doesn't have to pick up their kids until school let's out not wanting to hang out with me at Chuck E Cheese and listen to screaming kids when they don't have too. And I can't take my kids to the Baby Story Time at the library. She's almost reading!

I'm feeling lonely and like everyone is leaving. And as people life circumstances change (divorce, work, school, etc) people tend to find others they have more in common with and can see more easily. Maybe I'm needy. Ok... no maybes about it. I'm needy.

I hate change. I wish things would stay the same. Sure most of the changes are friends trying to improve their situations but... DAMN IT!!! I miss people.

I miss when I had a friend that lived close by with a kid almost the same age. We spent almost every day together and would talk on the phone when we weren't around one another. I feel like every time anything changes it gets harder to keep in touch. I'll call but when I don't get a call back I will often just let it go until they call me. Next thing you know a month has passed and I haven't spoken to the person. And it's not their fault. They have their own lives to deal with and I can't always talk when they call and if I forget to call back it's another month before we connect.

Not to mention everyone wanting to go to school and get jobs... it makes me feel ambitionless. I like not working! I'm content doing a few freelance type jobs here and there. I love being home with the kids. Sure, it's a lot of work (some days more then others) but I love it. Its been a long time since I had a job that I love. It's so nice to wake up not wanting your boss to give you a reason to quit (and with that no longer being an option anyway this works great). But at the same time I feel guilty I have no desire to further my education or work.

Every time a friend says they are fighting with their husband, contemplating going to work or has a kid starting school I get a little upset. I want to be happy when someone announces they are moving to an amazing house or starting school but I'm not really. I'm happy they are happy but I'm sad for myself. (Again, I'm being selfish and I don't care!)

Maybe if I do what our kids do, kick and scream and latch on to them so they can't leave then they will continue to give me attention and won't go. Worth a try right?

I win.

Today was... interesting if not completely infuriating.

Here's a little back story:

Generally I don't get up with the kids in the morning unless there is something going on (appointments or events and activities, etc.). Don't think I "sleep in" because I don't. I am up about an hour after they are. In fact the sound of them slamming the door is my alarm to get out of bed.

I'm not lazy... I'm just not a morning person and am super cranky in the early hours of day so I tend to be a grouch and nitpick at things or nag. So when I get up and see things James forgot to do or things out and messed up after I picked up before bed or the kids socks not being identically white or B's hair a bit frizzy after she already brushed it I tend nag and next thing you know the kids are rushing to get to school on time and James is late for work.  It's just honestly easier on everyone (especially with me staying up till midnight working on the website all the time) for them to get dressed and out the door and then for me to get up. That measly hour of extra bed time (and I say bed time because often once they are up I'm done sleeping) saves everyone from the "Morning Mommy Monster".

So my kids get up at 6am and my hubby has them get ready and they are gone by 7am at the latest. They dress themselves, after all they are 10 and 12. They also are supposed to get their own breakfast. I keep a big variety available for them. When there's time they can choose from cereal, oatmeal, grits, breakfast sandwiches, waffles, pancakes, toaster strudels, and microwave and toaster heatable things to cook up for breakfast. If they are in a rush there is a variety of cereal bars, fruits, pop tarts and things like that.  They even have special cups so if they have to take their milk or juice in the car with them.  

I'm up by 7, barely an hour after they get up. And since D sleeps till 8 it gives me a chance to wake up without being a pain in anyones ass. I get up grumpy, clean up the mess they made while getting ready and then do a few sun salutations (yoga) and am in a good mood.  It may not be the best system but it works perfectly for us.

So back to the point,

I dropped my toddler and sick son off at my grandmothers since I had a field trip to chaperon for B's school. B forgot breakfast so when I asked her if she ate she said no. My uncle overheard and when into a huge tirade about what a shitty mom I am. I'm a bad housewife. What kind of mother sends her kids off to school without a home cooked breakfast. I snorted when my grandmother even chimed in saying "I didn't cook you kids breakfast. You had cereal." His lame response, "Yeah! But we didn't make it ourselves!" he then looked at me and said "What are you teaching your kids?!?".

Ok. Let's break this down. This is a man who was a psuedo celebrity athlete at one point and for your typical reasons lost it all. He is twice divoroced with more then a couple kids (one from each marriage plus some). He is
. in his 40s and lives with his parents where he pays no rent. He borrows their car to go out. He has his mom cook his dinner and pack his lunch. And no, I'm not honestly sure if she makes his breakfast or not. He is bitter and lonely. He is ambitionless and unhappy. No wonder he has anger issues. But when you don't try to fix your situation who can you truly blame?

So in regards to his questions, "What are you teaching your kids?!?" I literally laughed out loud and said... "Some responsibility so they don't end up like you!".

He kept harping on and normally my mouth just goes off like a firecracker when I'm angry but seriously... I won. There is nothing he can say. He is a loser. He can call my parenting into question all he wants but let's call a spade a spade. No matter what he says about me I am not him so I win, period, end of discussion.

I cook, clean, volunteer, craft, tutor, run errands, work, and so much more... just like most moms. Do I think I'm special for all I do? Ok, sometimes but generally no. I do think that because of all I do, not waking up at 6 am to make a "home cooked meal" for the kids is perfectly fine. Besides they get that on the weekends! And even if they weren't...they are learning to be self sufficient!!! So maybe I'm giving them even more of a benefit then if I was up scrabbling eggs and frying bacon.

Point is... if you are going to be a judgmental asshole and start a fight about things you don't understand... don't be a loser because you can't win. And yes, if you come at me negative and quesiton my parenting or piss me off I will put you on blast on my blog. It's how I roll. So again... I win.

Me and my good ideas.

I was stressed out today and needed to chill. The weather was nice outside so... I thought it'd be a good idea to go on a bike ride with D.

Somehow an adult size bike was very hard to find. After searching the garage I found my bike was lost under tons if stuff that has been stored in the garage like Halloween decorations, plates, books, toddler mattress and pretty much anything  you can imagine. (Seriously.) I had to dig it out of the garage from under piles of junk that was sort of organized for my coming yard sale. This about killed me. There was barely enough room to maneuver and move things and I got myself and my bike all banged and scratched up trying to free it from all this crap.

Once I got the damn thing out I discovered the tires were flat. Figures. I probably should have let the idea go but after the battle to get the bike out I felt invested in the project so giving up wasn't going to happen. The pump was easy to spot... not so easy so reach. I used the mattress and some other boxes to make a platform to climb and cross so I could reach the pump. I heard something crack in the process. Still not sure what it was and I have no desire to find out.

After a final step and my leg punching through a plastic bin shattering the plastic and again scratching myself up I had the pump in hand! The return trip from my horribly constructed bridge apparatus was just as bad and a pile of books cascaded across the floor. I left them there.

So once I had the pump I started to pump the tires. I haven't don this since I was a kid. I put the hose thingy on the tire nozzle thingy and pushed the pump as hard and fast as I could and the freaking hose popped off and smacked my shin just hard enough to sting. I had to call B in to hold the plug on so I could pump.

I pumped them both up as much as I could and hopped on the bike. I guess I hadn't done a very good job because they were only slightly less flat then before. So we had to do it again.

I finally got them pumped and we hit the road like an hour after I decided to go for a ride. Half way through, literally just far enough from the house to make getting back a real pain in the ass...  D takes a digger and in a rush to get to her I jump off my bike. It crashes to the floor.

She's scratched up but ok. My bike wasn't. The tire popped out of the rim and is flat again. So at this point I have a crying toddler and her bike, my bike with a flat tire and zero patience left. Let's just say it was a very long trip home. We got back to the house but after the attempt to chill I was more worked up then ever!  Me and my good ideas.

New Car!!!

I got a new car over the weekend.
Compared to my old 2002 SUV this thing feels like a space ship. It's all shiny and high tech. I have to quote one of my favorite mermaids:
"I've got gadgets and gizmos a-plenty
I've got whozits and whatzits galore
You want thingamabobs?
I've got twenty!
But who cares?
No big deal
I want more..."

Ok, so I don't really want more. I'm actually a bit overwhelmed by it as is.

I push a button and it starts up and the air kicks on while I'm still in the house. If I get in the car while already on the phone it automatically clicks over to bluetooth. It's got all sorts of buttons and I only know what about half of them do. But it is a HUGE step above my old car. It's brand new with all the bells and whistles you could want... and of course it comes with a car payment.

For all of you who gasp and think "Why did she finance it?" I'll tell you. Contrary to what you may think based on my wildly popular blog, my large social networking site and my designer impostor cologne and Coach Outlet store bags... I had to if I wanted a new car.

But here is the other side of the coin.... I didn't really want a new car. I had just paid my old car off last July. I initially wanted to take the car payment and shove it into savings where it could attempt to fatten itself up with the meager interest that accrues on the account. But that damn car payment disappeared!!! I can't tell you where it went. Since July of last year I expected to stuff almost $400 into the account each month. Now I haven't started making an extra $400 in purchases... in fact I have been spending less so I can't even guess where the money is going. One second it was here and the next it's gone.

But I digress. So I wanted to drive my older but still in decent condition 2002 until it literally died on me and save my money and for the next car buy a small, reliable, economical vehicle outright. Then with continuing to save I will "in theory" never have to finance another car again. But Hubby really wanted a new car so when he wanted to go "look" I knew we'd be coming home with a new vehicle. And we did. At least it's technically designated as my car.

Don't get me wrong... it's more then nice. It's a great SUV but now I am back with a car payment and I hate that. I was so excited to be rid of it. It goes to show that even the best laid planes can fail. So while I morn the loss of my very first lien free car title and deal with another car payment at least I get to travel in a damn nice ride... even if it will take until this cars paid off to figure out all the gadgets.

(Oh and as a pretty neat side note... when I bought my car I was entered into a drawing for a Kindle Fire and I WON!!! I have been wanting to get one for my toddler so she'd leave mine alone so I'm super excited. I would have preferred buying a Kindle and winning a car... but it's still pretty cool!)

My baby almost died.

I posted this on my social site last month (here). I wrote it Mach 11th. I didn't post it here because I didn't want to make a big deal at the time and honestly I was so shook up by it that I didn't want to discuss it at all. But I ended up posting on the other site mostly as a warning to other parents. I wanted to post it here at some point but forgot so I'm doing it now. So here is the post I made.

Last Thursday was like any other day. We woke up, had breakfast, did a few workbook pages in Ds book. Then my mom stopped by to visit. She decided to watch D for me while I jumped in the shower. We let D get in the jacuzzi which is honestly about as warm as her bath (since we use it mostly for the kids). By the time I got out of the shower she was getting out. She was laughing and playing with my mom. I got dressed then we went and dressed D.
After she was dressed i told her I'd make lunch and D went skipping out of her room. About 5 seconds later she yelled and said she hurt herself. I came out and saw she had fell and scratched her knee. Nothing major but there was a little blood. So i picked her up, she wasn't even crying... just complaining and asking for the "Hello Kitty" band-aids. So I set her on the counter and had my mom hold her while I got the peroxide, neosporine and band-aids. I began cleaning her scratch and she fell over on the counter.
I thought she was throwing a fit so I said something about being nice or not pitching fits, but when we sat her up she was stuttering and making a weird noise. I then thought she was hyperventilating which has happened a few times in the past but it was when she started convulsing that I knew it was serious. I screamed for my mom to call 911. While my mom was on the phone D shook violently and I was scared. My mom shoved the phone at me and said they need your address. I began to give it to the operator and then I saw D losing color.
Her lips where blue. I yelled at the operator (or my mom, or honestly maybe to myself) "She's not breathing!!!" and I dropped the phone and snatched her away from my mom. I laid her on her back on the counter and checked for breathing and a pulse. There was nothing that I could find. I began CPR. Please do not think I was calm and clear headed. I was bordering on hysterical but thankfully put Ds needs ahead of my panic.
Her body was so still and her little lips were so blue and lifeless I thought "Dear God, she's already gone". As I breathed into her tiny little mouth once, and then again I begged God to help me. I think maybe he did because she started breathing again but she didn't want to stay awake. I kept talking to her, trying to get her conscious and aware. I kept praying "God, give her back, don't you take her away from me!"
I laid her on the ground by the window so the light would hopefully help her stay awake.
Most everything else was a blur. She slowly came too as the paramedics surrounded her. She remained out of it the whole ride to the hospital. The paramedic said me doing CPR may have saved her life. (I think that and my hysterical prayers.)
A CAT Scan came back normal. We don't know why she had a seizure. We don't know if much. She has to go in for more testing but I do know my baby is alive and that is all that matters.
I thought I lost her. I have never been more scared in my life. I swear I saw her life slipping away from me as I held her and thought I can't live without this girl. She was so small in my hands. She was so helpless and I felt even more so. And by the grace of God she came back to me. I am terrified now. Since we don't know what triggered or caused the episode we don't know what can be done to prevent another. The Dr said none of the things that occurred that day should have caused it. It's crazy that a healthy child on a perfectly normal happy day could almost die and for no reason.
Since Thursday she is now sleeping in my bed and can't go more then 5 feet away without me panicking. I am terrified that if I close my eyes for a second it will happen again and I won't be able to save her. I am scared that even if I am there and it happens again I won't be able to save her. I keep seeing her face blue and vacant and her sweet face expressionless and her body limp and lifeless. I can't stop thinking about it. I can't stop talking about it. It's on my mind and weighing heavily on my heart.
I know I will get better as time passes. I hope that the tests we have coming up will come back normal. The DR said some kids have a seizure for no discernable reason and never have another. I pray that this is the case with Dn.
But I also pray that none of you ever have to deal with anything so scary... but please learn CPR and the Heimlich maneuver just in case.
I have had to do the Heimlich on 2 of my 3 kids and have had to do CPR once. I hope I won't have to use them ever again but if I do I feel as prepared as I guess you can for that situation.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LEARN EMERGENCY LIFE SAVING TECHNIQUES. I plan to set up a CPR & Heimlich class for TBMG. I have done it on other sites I was a part of but it has never been more near or dear to my heart as now.

I don't like Facebook.

I don't like facebook. I don't get Facebook. I mean I get it. It's a social networking site, yadda, yadda, yadda. I just don't get how wrapped up in it people get. And it usually annoys me.

I have an account. I use it daily. I just don't like it. I feel almost peer pressured into using it.

I don't want to be the only one of my friends who doesn't get invited to things because all events are set up on facebook and I can't count on anyone actually sending an invitation or calling me.

I don't want to have even my grandmother ask if I saw the cute photos of my kids and not be able to see what every other member of my family can see and share.

I don't want my business to be left in the dust while every other business has moved onto social media and is thriving there.

So I am on facebook. It's not all bad. Sharing and storing photos is fun. And seeing little statuses and jokes can be ok. But there are a few huge issues that I have with facebook. And here are the top 10.

My Top 10 Issues with Facebook

1. Virtual Friends. People ask to be friends with people they would never approach in any other venue. In fact some of the most shy and antisocial people I know have over 400 friends. But in real life they don't even need 2 hands to count their real friends. You know nothing about some of these people. They could be criminals, freaks or just nasty people who will take what you post and cause problems... and yet we keep adding to our friends list as though having hundreds of anonymous friends you couldn't pick out of a line up is something to strive for. Why not go out and make some real friends or use facebook to plan outings with the friends you have?

2.Virtual Lives. They are not a farmer. They aren't a chef. They don't own a salon or pet store. They aren't even a knight in Camelot. Would they really want to be? They have a life. Is it that bad that they have to spend half of it online creating a new one and asking people to be their neighbor so they can send them stuff?

3. TMI. I'm not just talking about the people who share way too much about their kids latest bowel movement though they are definitely included in this. I'm also talking about the people that check in everywhere from their work, to their home and even in the bathroom. You share all your personal info. You tell people where you are at any given day at any given time. You post everything. FYI... I would never brag about my brand new TV, PC, etc and then post that I am leaving town. Not everyone who sees your posts are  your friends and of those that are, not all can be trusted. (See #1) Somethings shouldn't be publicly shared.

4. Bitchers. They bitch about the people at the grocery store, they bitch about their family, they bitch about people that bitch. Um... hello?!?!? You can also include the "drama haters" in this category too. These people are almost as bad as the

5. Life is Rosiers. Their house is being remodeled. Their husbands a great cook. Their kid has straight As. Their friends are great. Their feet don't stink. Isn't their life so rosy. No ones life's that perfect. Sure these status updates aren't bad in doses mixed with a few "my life sucks today posts" but when all you see is how great everything is... well let's say no one is fooled. Their house is being worked on because it's falling apart. Their husband cooks because he feels guilty he's cheating on them. It's easy to get straight As when their kid is up all night on cocaine studying. Their friends talk about them behind their back and their feet do stink. Are they trying to fool us or just themselves?

6. House Cleaners. Look, they added 354 friends. No one made them do it and there is a good chance that they requested most of them. Are they really so popular that they have to "clean their friends list"? And if they do clean house (which they probably should do see #1) don't make the main qualification for staying a friend be "liking" the house cleaning post.  Seriously... if having them like a post is the determining factor of if they should be on your friends list... they probably shouldn't be on your friends list. They just want feel like people care... admit it.

7. Attention Seekers. Maybe they weren't hugged much as a child. Maybe they are lonely in general. But every post they make is created with the sole purpose of getting people to pay attention to them. These people can be # 3, 4, 5, 6 or any combination. Sure the whole point of social networking is to connect and share but these people are self centered. They actually get upset if they get less then 10 likes and 10 comments on a status. They only really comment on other peoples posts if they can talk about themselves and hijack the post. And they are so self absorbed that they apologize when they don't post for a while... like everyone was waiting with bated breath for their return.

8. Self Portraits. Does anyone honestly think they look sexy with their boobs out, lips puckered facing a mirror with their camera showing?!?!? I guess they do because their albums are filled with shots they have taken of themselves in every outfit they own (and some with lots of skin), or looking tough flexing, in every angle you can manage in a mirror and by the way... can they at least get their dirty clothes off the floor if they are going to publicly post the photo? You should be cleaning your room instead of taking shots or yourself. Or at least have a friend do it so they can tell you how stupid you look.

9. Unfriending someone is the worst thing you can do to a person. Talk about me, my momma, my kids... BUT DON'T UNFRIEND OR BLOCK ME!!!! Long ago before facebook you could dislike someone. Tell them you aren't their friend. Talk bad about them and spread rumors with the final blow being a full confrontation. Now it's all backwards thanks to facebook. Someone makes a post. You take it personal. You make a post.  You virtually confront each other (usually with indirect, vague, passive aggressive statements). You talk trash to people, you spread rumors and then when you are really angry and want to really hurt them... YOU UNFRIENDunfriended because let's be honest...  you probably barely know them outside of the Internet (see #1). It's the lowest of low attacks because it's a first and last strike. It leaves the other person without a course for retaliation. It's not that they unfriended you... it's that they did it first. (Be honest, you know it's true.) Rather then looking at it like a favor you go back to passive aggressive statements but in 3 months to a year when you are unblocked and you get a friend request... you accept. Rinse and Repeat.

10. Tagging. I do not want to be tagged. Hell! I didn't even want photographed! I didn't realize I was standing in the background during a photo at your kids birthday party and the only thing you can see of me was is flat butt or giant belly. Do you really need to tag me? Especially when  you can't even see my face? Seriously. It's just mean.  My new policy is when someone tags me in a crappy photo I post a photo of a Plumbers Crack and tag them. See how they like it.

The absolute worst part of all this... I HAVE DONE EACH ONE AT LEAST ONCE. (And some I have done a lot more!)  And don't even get me started on poking! When did it become ok to poke people?!?!? Keep your virtual hands to yourself!!!

The Drama Stops Here

Why the hell do people have to create drama?

People seriously bitch about drama and how they won't put up with it and it's SO DRAMATIC!

Do they even understand that is basically what drama is? Probably not.

A friend made a post on my website about gossip and drama. You can check it out here. It was just so ironic because of all the drama going on and some of the posts and comments on the discussion are really snarky to people. It's like they are trying to pick a fight! Hello?!?! It's not really helping if it creates more problems.

I just don't get the whole drama thing. It seriously pisses me off. Why the hell do people enjoy getting worked up and bitching? I avoid it at all costs and when I am involved (as either the cause or bystander) it consumes my whole day! I spend my time bitching, being angry, talking shit and yelling at people. It's not fun! So here I sit pissed of blogging over other peoples drama that is making me get all edgy!!!
So why do so many people get off on this? Is their life so boring that they have to stir up trouble? Do they have nothing better to do then make ambiguous comments on Facebook just so people will give them attention when asking "whats wrong". I myself have had people come to me to decipher cryptic facebook posts and tweets. My answer is generally "GO TO THE SOURCE!".  I don't want involved. but then being the hypocrite I am I go ask the person if they are ok. Next thing you know I feel "involved".
Why people ask the one person they know hates being involved in this shit about whats going on is beyond me. And I know when a friend makes a post or people bring a post up to me and I ask if they are ok I'm probably not making it better. I actually am trying to help but it never works out that way.

Then the next snarky vague comments that are made I think are about me since now I'm paranoid. Everyone says say it to a persons face but know one does. Hell right now I'm saying it to my blog!!! Hypocritical much?!?1

So I hate the drama bullshit and am just going to limit it as much as I can. So people that make their "I hate gossipy people" comments trying to get everyone on edge or post shit like "If you don't like my post I'm unfriending you on facebook" so they feel like people pay attention to them blow it out your butts. If you need attention that bad just call me up and I will be happy to tell you first hand what I think of you.
The best way to strop this drama bull is to STOP IT. Don't discuss it, don't complain about it, don't stay involved in it. Just stop it! So since I can't control other people I just have to deal.
You can't change people... you can only change how you react to them. So the drama stops here.

Cheater, Cheater Pumpkin Eater!

This past weekend I was at an event on child safety at a "cleaning supply store". The owners of the venue that hosted kindly donated a bike to be given away to one lucky kid that was in attendance. Now let's ignore the fact that the owner brought his family and they took up half the audience making the chance that one of their names be drawn for the bike pretty high.
Let's focus on the fact that the owner wanted to draw the winner himself and he walked up with a slip of paper already in his hand. Let's focus on the fact that he wiggled his hand in the shallow dish not actually pulling a slip of paper but just removing his hand with a piece of paper already there. Now let's all pretend to be surprised and happy for the winner... NONE OTHER THEN HIS OWN KID.

Is this not just totally fucked up or what? There is a pretty high chance the kid didn't know at the time her dad rigged the drawing. But seriously?!?! And then to give me their card and tell me to think of them anytime I needed to purchase cleaning supplies and offer to host a seminar for my website on cleaning. Hmmm.... yes, I would love to give you my business and the business of those I know because you have already proved yourself to be so fair and ethical.

Sure, allowing a group to come in and hold a child safety workshop in your facility is great but being a cheater... not so much. I figure either he will just return the bike for the money he spent (which he volunteered to donate) or just wanted his kid to win.

And really... you own a very large and successful business. You couldn't just cover the cost of the $50 (at most) bike from Walmart? Or buy your kid a bike of her own?

It's not like I needed a bike for my kids. But some of the kids there only agreed to go because of the bike drawing. Kind of shitty if you ask me.

What to do?

Blogging is like anything in the sense that it can easily become overwhelming.

It's been so long since I have posted on my personal blog I feel ashamed to post now. And its not that I haven't had things to post. I have had tons! But because I haven't been updating regularly I feel like to post I will have to give back stories and explain things that had I just posted originally I wouldn't have to backtrack for. And now so much has happened since the last post it's like WHERE DO I BEGIN?!?!?!

I have said before my blog is my stress relief. It's my way of venting but because many people know I write my blog I can't always say what I want. I have thought about leaving it and making an anonymous blog so I could be a bit more honest without worry of any sort of backlash but I feel so invested in this one (which is weird because let's be honest, it's not like my thousands of readers will miss me). And I also don't personally mind people knowing things about me... but should that extend to others?

The idea of just going for it and being honest on here occurs to me often but that gets complicated. Sometimes I want to bitch about people. I don't talk shit about people, I don't spread rumors and I try (though not always successfully) to not talk about people behind their backs. So shouldn't I be able to jump on here, give fake names and false details to vent? But what if the one person I am venting about reads or hears and gets upset. Most people don't get that you can be upset or unhappy with someone and say something about it and still care... and if they do get that it gets away from them when they are the person being bitched about. (I know, I myself take that sort of shit pretty hard.)

So I have this double edged sword going on. A damned if I do, Damned if I don't scenario if you will.

So maybe I'll ease into things. Just drop a little bit of bitchy truth here and there and wait to see if it comes back to bite me in the ass.

Mommy Cliques

I am having a little problem with "Mommy Cliques".

I have once before been told I was in a "Mommy Clique" which for an alternative punk like me was almost flattering. I think often a close group of friends is called a clique and that brings negative images of 30 something "mean girls". But when all is said and done, a clique implies exclusivity and I have never been in a group that didn't welcome others. But I realize how moms new to a group may not feel welcome at first since getting to know people and form bonds can be a little tricky.

It's the Mommy Cliques that give all close groups of friends a negative rep because most often the members of a those clique are bitchy ladies.

I think most people have had to deal with them at some point and what makes them so frustrating is that you are dealing with them in spite of the fact that the women involved are far too old to behave that way. But I guess being snotty and snobby has no age restrictions.

You may have run into them at play dates, at stores, on websites and in my case... PTAs!

Some of those women are such a tight knit group of bitches gals that are too ignorant and self absorbed refuse to consider anyone else's thoughts, ideas and, in many cases, feelings. They think they run the school because they are "PTA Presidents or Chair Members" but it's a Mommy Mafia. You don't get in unless someone vouches for you. They say what happens and what doesn't and on whose terms. Honestly the majority of power lies within their own minds but that doesn't stop them from alienating everyone outside of their group.

I always try to include everyone, friend or not, even when I'm out with my close pals. I have been on the "outside" and I know breaking in can be hard and awkward. I also realize that sometimes it takes a person several meetings with a person or group of people to find your spot and relationships don't happen all at once. But I don't confuse a close group of friends as a clique.

Big boys do cry.

I don't ever seriously refer to my husband as macho. It's not that he is a sissy or anything but he just doesn't come off as a tough guy. I actually am fine with this. I have dated tough guys and macho men and obviously that didn't work for me. I am crazy about James. He is no pussy, he flexes and it turns me on. Even though he isn't muscular when he shows off "the guns" there is a bit of a cut and I think it is super sexy. I often (half) jokingly tell him to ask where the gym is (ala' Chris Farley from Tommy Boy).

But even though you never just feel testosterone radiating from James he is a man. Except when he watches movies. He is a movie weeper!!! It's crazy because he just doesn't really cry. People he knows die and he doesn't shed a tear, ET goes home and he bawls. I see a sad news story on TV and I get misty eyed but even I don't cry like he does. The biggest causes of his leaky tear ducts have been The Notebook (and yes I cried at this), Big Fish, The Time Travelers Wife, The Bridge to Tarabithia, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and those are only the ones I can think of right now.

And even though I never wanted him to be some tough guy or a macho man... is it weird it creeps me out when I see him cry? I know, I suck. I am an insensitive bitch but it just is freaky. I wish he'd just remove his tampon and suck it up and I actually have told him that before.

I know girls should want a sensitive man but I don't, but I do have something to pick on him for that offers me an immense amount of amusement. Then I can walk around the house signing my version of "Big Girls Don't Cry" aptly altered to "Big Boys Do Cry".

I was the Victim of a Sneak Attack!!!

Ok, so I wasn't really attacked but I was included in what is called The Sneak Attack. I had never heard of it until my etsy shop was suddenly bombarded with people adding my items to their favorites, placing orders and kicking my shops activity up about 400%!!!

This is HUGE FOR ME since my store is brand spanking new and I only had 1 sale up until yesterday around 3pm...but now I am trying to get this post done so I can ship an order and am working with some gals on custom listings!!!


So I knew this attack really benefited me but I still didn't know much about it. So I went to the website of the orchestrator's:

The Handmade Movement: Home of The Sneak Attack ...supporting artists and crafters worldwide! What is The Handmade Movement? "The handmade movement" is the collective energy and creativity of Artists and Crafters who work with their hands. This site's purpose is to support sellers and buyers of handmade items-the main focus being through the "Sneak Attack"; Sneakers Notorious on Etsy for Attacking with Kindness. Although unaffiliated with Etsy, we focus on shops of handmade items from Etsy.com




And right there at the top of their page it had my shop listed with 2 other victims!!! :

Sneak Attack Now Going On:

Date: Monday, Jan. 9th; 3:00pm EDT
Shop Name: pillowtalkcardz, Steffany813, AmyBethDesigns,
Sponsor: KNJewelry and World Of Mine
Check out today's Sneak Attack thread
What's all this? Read our About Us page to find out!

I checked out the site and on the about us page here is what I found:

What is a Sneak Attack?


It's a way to support independent artisans who are trying to sell their wares online. Two days a week at an appointed time, an Etsy shop with few or no sales is announced on this site. As many people as possible then buy items from that shop, resulting in a frenzy of surprise business to the unsuspecting shop! To the upper right is the current Sneak Attack schedule. To participate, show up on this site at or soon after the time of the next attack and you'll see the chosen shop name in the box to the right - in the Upcoming Sneak Attack box. Then go to that shop and purchase an item, making sure to include the words "Sneak Attack" in the "message to seller". It's also fun to tune into the current thread on Etsy to talk about it with other "attackers".

Who's behind all this?

Actually, a lot of people are! The success of this site and the Sneak Attack is thanks to a lot of different people who are happy to help make someone's day! Michael Phipps, of phippsart.etsy.com originated the Sneak Attack idea after he received his first sale in his Etsy shop. He was so excited, that he wanted to share the feeling of that first sale with others, and so the idea for Sneak Attacks was born. We have been SNEAKING up on shops since September 24, 2008!

And added cherry to the top of my happy crafting and increased sales sundae is...
A co conspirator of the attack mentioned my etsy shop along with a photo of one of my tutus. You can see it here at Sandi's T's.

So Now I encourage you all to get in on the movement and attack someone!