E Readers Vs Books

I wrote a blog post a while back about how my purchase of a Kindle caused the down fall of Borders. (You can read it here.)

Since then I have been so in love with reading on my kindle that i barely touch a real book. Now I got the Kindle Fire for Christmas. I wanted it soooo bad but now that I have used it for a few days I just don't think I like to read on it as well as my normal Kindle.

It's awesome for web browsing if you are in a wi-fi area. It's perfect for making me lose hours of my life on some silly app. But it's apps aren't as good as those on the iPad or the iPhone even and even though reading in the dark is now an option I just prefer my normal Kindle.

About a week ago I decided to g o back and reread my "The Wicked Years Collection by Gregory Maguire" (you know, the ones about the wicked witch they used as a basis for the play) since a new and final installment came out. My first 3 copies are paperback so I begin to try and read them. But it's taking me FOREVER! I don't like how cumbersome they are. I am constantly fighting to keep the spine from cracking or pages from crinkling. Also I can't just stuff it in my purse or have it at the ready for the times when I am on the go or stuck in a pick up line!

I swear these things were never such an issue before but now they are crippling my reading enjoyment. So being the cheapskate I am I couldn't bring myself to pay for new books when I already had some just sitting here so I rented them from library for my Kindle. What a relief. The Kindle has truly changed the way I read... I just don't know if its for the better

Why?

If you have kids you hear this a lot from their mouths. But my toddler says it more then the other two combined and multiplied by 100.

Originally I thought this simple question was a testament to her natural curiosity and an attempt to understand the world around her. A normal exchange in my house goes something like this:

She would ask "Can I have some candy?" and I would reply "No".
"Why," she would inquire. "Because it's almost dinner."
"Why?"
"Because we need to eat soon."
"Why?"
"Because if we don't eat we will be hungry."
"Why?"
"Because the human body needs food to work and if you don't get enough your tummy will growl and to say it needs more."
"Why?"
"Because it just does, ok?"
"Why?"
"BECAUSE I SAID SO!"
"Why?"

I try to nurture her curiosity and feed her ever growing little mind but I am starting to think her curiosity isn't the reason for the "Why". It's a sales tactic and a psychological attack.

You keep your prospect (aka victim) engaged long enough and they break down. Their defenses wear down and hopefully they give in even if it's just to get you to stop pitching to them. It's a toddler interrogation. And it's effective in my toddlers case about half the time.

Initially I would end up screaming "Because I said so" and she would bring out the lip and tears and I'd feel bad for crushing her fragile emotions over one simple inquiry... "Why" so I give in to make up for it.

Once I realized this word was just one more weapon in her manipulation arsenal I wanted to get even so I would answer her "Why" with my own "Why".  It became clear that this tactic wouldn't break her because she just kept asking "Why" and I couldn't turn it around. I think I am dealing with a superior intellect.

I attempted ignoring her but the incessant "Why" was like a hammer to my brain, pounding away at my self control until I would scream "Shut up!". Obviously a new method is needed.

So now I am trying a new plan of attack (or in my case defense). After the first "Why?" I give a full and simple explanation to the question. When the inevitable "Why?" comes I ask "Which part didint' you understand?". This gives her a chance to ask a specific question if this is really about learning for her and if she gives just another "Why?" I say "I already told you why and if you ask me why again you can sit in time out until you remember why."

I know I sound like a crappy parent threatening time out over this but it's maddening to hear her ask the same thing over and over and over. And if you think threatening to punish is bad you're going to think I am a real piece of work when I tell you that I actually do punish!

I have used time out, taken her favorite doll and taken her privileges (like tv or dessert) away. I don't care how terrible I sound. I don't want not explain things to her and I never wanted to be the "Because I said so" mom so this is  currently the compromise between the two extremes for me.

You may think this is a bad way to handle this and to that I can only ask "Why?".

Tutu Crazy!

Everyone knows love making tutus and lately my tutus have been by order only because I haven't had time to make enough for stock since they are going so fast. But I finally got a few listed in my now fully functional etsy shop!

I also made this angel costume for D's recital which she wore for a total of 10 minutes so I have listed it on etsy also at a discounted price.

But with everyone ordering like crazy for the holidays (people love tutus in photos) I have felt like my own kids tutu obsession has gone ignored... so I decided to do a Christmas Photo tutu for D... and since I am sick of Green and Red tutus... I made this crazy colorful number...

It's not your typical Christmas tutu and D isn't your typical kid so I think it works. I found the shirt at Walmart and it was a little silly and colorful like my kid so I concocted this tutu with lots of colors and made the skirt vary in lengths just to make it even more funky to match.
I love finding a normal shirt or even a pair of tights and making a tutu to match. It takes it from being something ordinary to extraordinary and when you get to work with a funky pallet it's even better.

To buy one of the tutus in my etsy shop just click on the photo and feel free to browse the other handmade items. But if you are looking for a costume tutu let me know. I am toying with the idea of making one for me.

Need a good deal on a chastity belt.

Today was a bowling alley field trip and half day for B and as usual I volunteered to chaperon. When I got to the school the teacher pointed out the kids riding with me. Both of which were boys, one of which (who we will call Brian) was sharing a chair with B at a computer station. I thought is odd but being the overbearing parent I am I promised myself to lay off today so I said nothing.

On the way to the bowling alley B and Brian were texting each other in the back seat. No biggie. We got to the bowling alley and and B kept running off and basically went MIA several times. The group on her lane had to keep stopping their game just to find her. I didn't go crazy, I only went searching for her once and told her to either bowl or tell her group to skip her but she can't run off leaving everyone to wait on her. Again I didn't want to be a nag but she kept running off. Lucky for her I promised myself to give the her some space.

Well, when I give her an inch she doesn't take a mile... she drives straight off a cliff. On the way back to school the other boy says, "I saw what you were doing in the corner."

"What were you doing in the corner?" I asked.
"Nothing," said Brian.
"Something. What were you kissing?" I asked and turned to look at B .
"I don't remember," she says.
I was shocked and finally said "Well, if she can't remember it couldn't have been too good."

I didnt' want to freak out... especially in front of the other kids but I was floored. I actually sat through the next green light and even missed the turn to get back to school. When we finally go there (the longest 8 minute ride ever i might add) I had an idea.

"B , give me your phone."

The look on her face said it all. I was NOT going to like what I found.

Basically they started texting a day or so ago but today the messages started at 6:24am! Now mind you both B and Brian have special needs of some kind. I have typed EXACTLY what they wrote (and even for text talk this exchange is pathetic) and you can see my notes in red and the message I sent in green...

6:24 Her: what are you doing
6:25 Him: eating. what u doing.
6:28 Her: I am leaving to go to school
6:33 Him: Im not yet.
6:58 Him: So what are you doing
At least this partially explains why it takes my kid who has an assigned uniform twice as long to get ready each day. She's farting around on her phone.

I think this is where we get in my car and the two love jerks, I mean birds start texting in the back seat. The idea that my toddler was buckled between them during the exchange creeps me out even more.
8:50 Him: Hey I love you
8:51 Him: Its true
Ok, thanks Romeo but you're moving kinda fast.
8:51 Her: I love you to
Argh... I guess not to fast for my kid.
8:52 Him: Want to date behind joes back
So I guess Joe is her current "boyfriend" (who knew?!?) and now this guy is trying to convince my sweet girl to become a cheater?!?!? What makes him think she's that kind of girl?
8:53 Her: Yes
Oh, well maybe she is. What a little hoochie!
8:54 Him: Ok baby
8:55 Him: whats wrong with me calling u baby
Um... does it matter if her moms not okay with you calling my baby baby?
8:56 Her: Do you want to kiss
Ok, my sweet little girl is a hoe! Jeez, she just started talking to this kid 2 hours ago and has already decided to cheat on this Joe fella and is planning her and Brians first rendezvous?!?!
8:56 Him: when. yes. love you
Well, did you honestly expect him to say no?
8:57 Her: After school
Once again I have discovered why my kid is late. Now I know what she's doing when she's not in the pick up line where she should be. What a sleeze!
8:58 Him: I can't. I have a bus that i have to go on. lets kiss if we bang into each other at the bathroom at the bowling place
At least the boy has priorities. And suggesting a bathroom tryst? Now that's classy.
9:00 Her: ok
And of course my slutty kid is game.
9:02 Him: who do you like more me or joe
Only an hour into the affair and he's already feeling insecure and trying to get her to leave her man? Rookie.
9:02 Her: you
Now maybe she means it, maybe she's running game. Either way I am annoyed.
9:03 Him: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww thanks baby
9:04 Him: Love you cutie
I think I'm going to be sick.
9:13 Her: thank you.
At least I taught her manners even if I didn't teach her how not to be a hoe-bag.
10:51 Her: i love
????
10:52 Him: I love you. that kiss was awesome.
Um... how many are you able to gauge this against. If my kid gets mono I have your number buddy!
10:58 Her: awww we love you.
We? Are we having a Ménage à trois or did B suddenly get MPD? I later found out her friends were texting with her.  
10:59 Him: an i love u both to
Ok, this isn't "Sister Wives" buddy. Besides B already has 2 boyfriends...
11:00 Her: I can't wait to kiss you again and you are sexy
Again I was told the last line was text by her friend after I went into a tirade over her not even knowing what sex was so why would she call anyone sexy?!?! I am thinking I need to look at these "friends" more closely.
11:01 Him: so are you sexy
MY KID IS NOT NOR WILL SHE EVER BE SEXY!
11:02 Her: you are sexyer
You know what's sexy? Proper spelling, grammar and punctuation. These kids... NOT SEXY.
11:02 Him: what are you texting.
Apparently a tween version of soft core sexts.
11:03 Him: no u are
I must have missed something here.
11:03 Her: Go in the room and kiss
She is such a little slut!
11:04 Him: k1 sec
And he's not on my list of favorite people either.

At this point I believe we are back in the car driving to school.
11:13 Him: i love you baby
Argh! Will you stop the love crap already!
11:15 Her: I love you to
She's such a follower.
11:16 Him: I want to kiss you again
Why buy the cow when it will kiss you for free?
11:16 Her: ok
Moooo

This is just after the other boy said he saw what they were doing in the corner.
11:18 Him: I'm going to kill him
And I want to kill you.
11:19 Her: I want to kill him too
Didn't you think for even a second that while "making out" with a boy on a field trip your mom was chaperoning there was even the slightest chance you may get caught?!?!?
11:19 Him: he is such a jerk
Yeah, it was kinda a jerk move snitching them out but it worked to my benefit. Hooray for snitches!
11:20 Her: i know
At least one person in the car is honest. Thank you tattle tale boy.
11:21 Him: I hope you dont get in trouble
Hope all you want. Your slutty little girlfriend is grounded.
11:21 Her: me too
Do you even know me?!?!?
11:22 Him: love you baby
Poor Romeo
11:23 Her: I love you
Alas our Juliette
11:28 Him: I don't know where we can kiss again.
So many things keeping them apart... distance, winter break, the fact that B will be lucky if she is allowed to leave her room ever again and my foot in this boys ass!
11:50 Him: Hey sup
Yeah, that's romantic.

At this point we leave school and on the way home we have a talk and I tell her she's punished. But she can't just let it go...
12:48 Her: in the bathroom
Um... gross?
12:49 Him: me to
Um... double gross!
12:51 Her: ok
Kids are dumb.
12:53 Him: so sup
Who told this kid this was a good line to use on girls?
12:54 Her: I love you
Well, I guess it works huh?
12:54 Him: love you to
That's it. I've tried to be nice and not embarrass anyone but screw this.
1:30 ME: This is B mom. I would appreciate you and B keeping your hands and mouths to yourselves, especially while at school and during school functions.
1:31 Him: ok
Yeah, you don't want to mess with me!
1:33 Me: Thank you
1:34 Him: Welcome
Other then the fact that this kid was making out with my daughter he's actually a pretty likable guy. But the whole tongue in my kids mouth negates anything he had going for him.

So obviously I am not happy. I punished B but I can't really punish her for kissing at 12 even though I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to. I know if I punish her for this now she's going to go to even greater lengths to hide this type of thing from me in the future. So I told her she's being punished for smooching at school. I told her she is never to do things like this at any sort of school function. She's cleaning the house top to bottom (I'm actually glad she got in trouble so I could pass this task off to her). She also lost her phone and is restricted all weekend to her room with no electronics.

I can't tell if I am being to hard on her or not. I just don't know what else to do but if anyone knows where  I can get a good deal on a pair of iron undies please email me.

Take this troop and shove it!

Here's the deal. I am trying to be a good role model for B but I really just want to scream!

Our Girl Scout Troop was doing a holiday performance. Some of the girls had speaking parts and everyone was singing Christmas Carols. When we were assigning parts some of the girls didn't want to have a speaking roles so somewhat reluctantly B agreed to take have a part.

This is a big deal for a few reasons. Firstly her learning disabilities makes learning even 2 sentences difficult. Add to that also the reading of unfamiliar words and it's doubly hard.  Secondly her speech problems make it hard for her to be understood. She has a hard time with pronunciation and she stutters. But I stressed how important it was that she remember her lines and try to speak clear. If she stutters just breath deep and keep on moving. I kept saying how everyone would be counting on her.

For weeks this kid practiced. She broke words down and worked and worked and finally had her lines memorized and she was saying them clearly enough that anyone listening could understand! I can't begin to tell you how proud she was of herself or how proud I was.

But there have been some "kinks" in the holiday program plans. For starters I don't "work" but I do have 3 kids. Two of which are at different schools 45 minutes away from our home and subsequently the Girl Scout meeting area. A rehearsal was set for 5pm. But with me not even picking up B until 5 it made it hard to be there on time. I would be late.

Then B had oral surgery scheduled. The surgery wouldn't leave a lot of recovery time before the rehearsal but she may be ok for the program. My biggest concern was leaving the other girls in the lurch if she couldn't make it. So as a courtesy I told the other troop leader, who was running this whole holiday thing, what was going on and asked if we can get an understudy "just in case". I probably should have just kept my big mouth shut. She said she would find a girl "just in case". We left it at that.

But she was so excited and proud of her progress and ability to participate we rescheduled the surgery... to be held just days before Christmas. That's right. She was willing to give up Christmas dinner and all the yummy food that it brings for these 2 lines in the crappy program. But if she was willing to make the sacrifice who was I to say otherwise.

So the night of rehearsal (which was just the girls at the park, no set up or stage or props) I drove like a mad women to get there with B reciting her lines the whole time. When we arrived (late because they started the rehearsal at 5 when even our meetings don't start till 6) I told B to jump in.

That's when we were told her part was given away. What happened to "just in case"? I swear if it had been quieter you could have heard B's heartbreak even if you couldn't see the hurt in her eyes. She held it though and didn't cry. I asked her to be a student director but there was little for her to do in that capacity so she just sat there which I could tell was not fun watching everyone else preform in a program she had practiced for. Then I told her to jump in and try to sing... but she focused so hard on the lines she had to say she didnt' know the words to the songs so all she could do was move her mouth and try to catch a few words. Then when the girl who was given her lines went up I saw her eyes fill with tears. She blinked them back and I could tell it really upset her.

The other troop leader said I told her to give the part away. I didnt' argue because even though I didn't think I did... I do forget what I send out so for the sake of argument I didn't say otherwise. And then she explained to B that it wouldn't be fair to give the part back. "That would be hurting the other girl just to make B feel better." Well... the other girl originally didn't even want a part and the other girl didn't spend weeks practicing and the other girl doesn't have to work as hard to remember 2 simple lines and the other girl had the part for 1 hour not 2 months and the other girl wasn't even asked if she minded giving the part back! And I know I sound mad at "the other girl" but I'm really just mad at the situation.

So we left and B broke down in the car. I asked her what she wanted to do and she said "I dont' want to go and watch all my friends if I can't do it too." I told her I understood and would let her decide what to do. Then she sobbed saying things like "I tried so hard" "I just want to be in the show".  I explained that none of this had to do with how hard she tried or how well she did. It was because of me saying we needed a back up plan. I apologized and she just cried saying "It's not your fault mommy". Great, now I really feel like shit.

I'm so angry. So when I got home after telling the other troop leader that B didn't want to go and I wouldn't make her under the circumstances I checked my emails and they did ask for an understudy... not a replacement. James thinks maybe the "swift replacement" had to do with B's ability to do the lines with her stutter and all. I don't think so... and I'd hate to think that but no matter what the reason my kid is hurt and disappointed. She doesn't know if she even wants to do Girl Scouts anymore. Worst part is now she has to have her mouth operated on right before a Christmas... So when everyone is eating ham and potatoes she will be eating applesauce and for what?!?! Not a damn thing.

One part of me wants to tell her to be the bigger person and to stick it out at least the rest of the year or give it a month more and see how she feels. But the other part knows I probably wouldn't in the same situation plus this part also knows we have such a crazy schedule losing one activity would be a huge relief.

So do I try to teach her to turn the other cheek or to take the easy route and quit? I don't know. For now though she's upset so I will see what course she selects naturally and go from there. But I don't think I'll mind if she wants to tell them to take their troop and shove it. I could use the break if nothing else.

No Heavy Lifting

Tonight I think I caught my husband off guard. He needed me to lift our insanely heavy mattress with him and I said sure... but walked right past him to the bathroom. He says "Aren't you going to help?" and I respond "Yeah but if I don't pee first I may have to change my pants after."

After an odd look and good laugh I explained that having 2 kids does a number to your body.

There are many things I lost after the births of my girls. Things like the ability to rock a bikini, or go braless in a halter or jump on an trampoline without pissing myself.

These things are part of life and a side effect of motherhood for some... but I guess my husband never put much thought into the things that happened to my body underneath the stretch marks. Sure I don't have to play jump rope with the kids but it would be nice to be be able to even after downing a big gulp... but once you are pregnant and have a kid you can't just hope in the bounce house all care free and willy nilly. Well, I guess you could but you may have a little dribble. Then you'd have to blame the wet spot on some kid at the party and that's just sad.

I know this isn't something most people talk about... and probably not anything most people want to hear. Sure it's kind of gross and a bit taboo but it's life! I'm not walking around pissing myself or anything but there have been times when I have been laughing so hard I have to crumple to the floor in an attempt to literally not laugh the piss out of me. And there was that time at Airheads Trampoline Arena when I barely made it to the restroom.

And of course you hear "do Kegel exercises". Yeah... I have three kids that as soon as I walk into the bathroom they start beating on the door. I don't have time to practice stopping my flow of urine in an attempt to strengthen those muscles. I have to get in, out and on with life! And lord know I can't sit and type doing it. It's just kinda weird and in all honesty a little exhausting. (I think my va-jay-jay actually got tired last time I tried.) And we all know other then Yoga I have this unnatural aversion to exercise.

So the solution is simple. Err on the side of caution. Always operate on and empty bladder or NO HEAVY LIFTING.

What do I do all day?

I was at my husbands company party a week ago and was really enjoying myself... but at one point at the dinner table I yawned. A young girl who was one of DHs employees asks if I was ok. I said I'm fine... "Just a little tired". She responds with "How can you be tired? You don't work and you spend your day with kids."

Now I know her comment was made out of the blissful ignorance of youth... and thankfully from the look of disgust, shock and fear on every other face at the table they knew just how inappropriate the comment was. (Look, you don't have to be a mom or know what a moms deals with daily to know that's rude.) But because she was young and stupid I didn't fret too much. I told her I spend all day running and busy as another young (and much smarter) girl said "My mom always said the hardest job you will ever have is raising kids." See some people at DHs work do have a brain.

Gee why am I tired? What do I do?

Well let's just pick a Tuesday for example...
6am: Wake up the house for work or school and lay back down hoping to sleep a little longer.

6-7am: Take a shower and hunt for the laundry basket because I know I washed my favorite jeans so they have to be somewhere. Don't leave the room because if I do they will make me do stuff for them!!!

7-7:29am: Everyone gone. Start a load of laundry and put away the basket. I still haven't found my jeans.

7:30am: D wakes up. I rush back to bed to fake like I'm sleeping and hope she'll just go back to her room so I can finish the laundry but she smacks me in the face and jabs me to pry open my eyes. It's no use. She's not going back to her room.

7:31-7:45: Make Breakfast while cleaning dishes that magically appeared in sink after I already washed everything last night.

7:45-9am: Work on TBMG site, blog, pay bills, schedule appointments. Get D started on her "school work" which she decides to tear up and use as snow.

9-10am: Work on PTSO and fundraiser work for kids schools while doing a craft with D related to todays school topic. After craft clean glue stick out of D hair and nose. It may be in her teeth too but since it's non-toxic I'll only worry about the parts that may get it onto the furniture.

10-12pm: Clean house as D follows me around "uncleaning" house.

12-1pm: Make and eat Lunch and go for walk around block before D goes stir crazy and destroys the house so I have to clean it all over again.

1-2pm: Coupon clipping and matching up up the computer. D destroys the nice clean house while I'm occupied.

2-2:30: Dress D. Let the dogs out. Dress D again because somehow in the 5 minutes it took the dogs to pee her first outfit is missing and she is sitting in the middle of the floor naked.

2:30-3:30pm: Pick up my son from his school. D is screaming in the back seat for attention.

3:30-4:30pm: D is in dance class. A sits on the bench doing homework. I am making the grocery list or checking on the site.

4:30-5pm: Pick up B from Cheerleading practice. D is screaming because her imaginary friend is fighting with her.

5-6pm: Drive Home. I hate rush hour traffic. D is now singing "The song that never ends".

6-7pm: Get Groceries. All my couponing is wasted because the 3 kids spent more on the junk food that's ended up in the cart then I saved with all my clippings.

7-8pm: Turn on website and try to work while cooking dinner and eating. D throws her plate on the floor by "accident" right after saying she didn't want to eat and I told her she has to.

8-9pm: Get kids all showered or bathed and ready for bed. Kitchen clean. House is a wreck again all while working on the site.

9pm-12am: Work on site and try to finish up things that didn't get finished during the day only to realize I forgot about half the stuff I was supposed to do and now I have to try to remember it all tomorrow.

If I'm lucky I am asleep by 1am. If I am even luckier D won't come in and wake me at 2am and keep me up past 3am.

And this is just the schedule generally for any given day. Some days I don't have to go to the store, others I have to go to several. Some days I skip coupons while other days cleaning takes 4 hours. And with a varying schedule of practices, sports games, playdates or Dr appointments and various other errands... well... you get the idea. And to think I do all this and don't have a "full time job". I think of the moms that fit all this in around 8 hour out of home work days and my head spins.

So no, I have no idea why I'm tired. I don't really do that much.

Telling classmates your pregnant is not a good joke!

So as a follow up to yesterday's 13 and pregnant post, I spoke to B. I asked if she knew how babies were made and as I suspected she thought it was mostly kissing. I really don't want to have the birds and bees talk so I told her that there was a lot more to it. I'll get back to the mechanics when I figure out how to explain it best for her.

I asked why she would tell her friends she was pregnant and she said she was joking. Then I had to explain that a joke is funny and lying about something and letting people believe its true is not funny and is just a lie. She also swears she didn't ask for gifts. Either way she did get punished for lying just so i can feel like shes learning a lesson on honesty and good judgement. She's grounded from all electronics until the weekend so she will be catching up on some reading. So for now alls well that ends well. Well... Until I have to get around to that birds and bees talk.

If you have your own side then we must be on different sides.

I tend to blog more when I am upset because it makes me feel better to get my frustrations out. And since I all I really want to do is feel better about crap that happened yesterday and other involved parties are not making any attempt to keep the issues to themselves I am going to get it out.

Basically I was told by a friend that she got some complaints about a photo on facebook for my website http://www.tampabaymomsgrou.com/. The thing is no matter what she said or meant the issue came when my feeling got hurt. I didnt' think she tried to hurt them on purpose but then she made a few snarky emails. I didn't even worry about them. Again, I wold have sworn she was just unintentionally insensitive and in all honesty I was too hurt. The thought that someone would complain about a photo, something so petty, I use on a site that I put so much into really was a blow that I wasn't ready for after what had been an already very trying day.

I don't do the site for praise or thanks but give me a break! I don't want to hear that "multiple people have complained" about anything. I work too damn hard and it just was very discouraging and hurt. And to find out all at once that she allegedly had people complain over a a period of months... well I felt ganged up on. If this was the case she should have said something months ago. What was she hanging on to everything to build a case? Say something when it happens or don't say anything at all.

Plus I am one of those who thinks when it comes to the opinions of others "Ignorance is Bliss". Firstly because I rarely care what anyone thinks about me unless I have a personal interest in them or the situation. Secondly because if I find out people dislike something I am proud of or just happy with it sucks.

So I was hurt. End of story. It wasn't directed at anyone but I was upset and angry and just trying to get over it. Well... that apparently wasn't ok. While I was trying to deal with this,  this friend had to make this an issue between she and I. I wasn't even mad at her but she had to run around giving her side of a story. If you aren't fighting or disagreeing with someone you don't need to have a side right? Well that's what I think... so the fact that she felt the need to fill people in really pissed me off. I made a post on TBMG in my normal snarky, sarcastic half serious way where I make jokes to deal with pain ( I called my self out for acting like such a baby several times) and I just wanted to vent... and it worked! Well until she had to make my pain about her.

And because she had such an issue I had people present me the conspiracy theory of the day... "Maybe she was the only one with the problem and that's why she took it personally." Sounded like a logically idea to me but I still just wanted to get over it and after i wrote it out I felt better... until she had to make a post with a freaking screenshot and a pretty bad comment.

I deleted her response because again I still wasn't feeling like this was a "she vs I thing". So when I told her as nicely as I could that I deleted her post and why... she got pissed. She said she wanted her side told. I then deleted the whole post because I was told that it could scare away new site members. Honestly I don't care. If someone is that bothered by me saying how I feel I don't really want them on the site. But then with her messages and this "my side" issue I think I finally snapped. That's it then. You want there to be sides, then that means it's a "you vs I thing". That means this is a argument, issue, fight, whatever. 

I was way more upset then I should have been, way more upset than I characteristically would be about something like this. I knew that but knowing you are being irrational about what someone says doesn't always make you stop feeling like shit. I just wanted to vent on my site. I felt like I should be allowed because lord knows everyone else is given that privilege. But whatever. I told her I was too upset and just taking time away from it all. And I tried. BOY DID I TRY!!! But even today she was calling people to tell her side. By the way during the course of this insanity her sides details have changed more then once but whatever.

So if a "friend" who hurt me unintentionally or not was actually sorry I feel like she would stop trying to draw more people into this but since she won't I have to wonder what's more important... my feelings or "her side"? I wasn't going to even post about this but if she wants to share her side of the story with anyone that will listen then I will share my feelings.

I was hurt and she made this about her. Not everything has to be about her and that's why I can't get over it yet. I may be a bad friend because I let this get to me at this level but up until this became a "us" issue I never thought our friendship was being called to account. I feel bashed and betrayed from too many angles.

I'll get over it all at some point... but I have to wonder what will have changed irreparably by then?.

12 and Pregnant?

I had a rough day yesterday so this morning I decided to press on and MAKE today a good day. But when I go to check my emails I have this from B's teacher sitting in my in box: (I am changing the names of the involved parties)

Mrs. Steffany813
It has been brought to my attention by Jenny Johnsons mother that B has been telling her that she is pregnant and that Jenny should buy her a build-a-bear for her baby.  This was pretty shocking, I am hoping that this is just something she is doing for attention or perhaps that Jenny is confused, but I thought I should bring it to your attention so that you can discuss it with B and find out what is going on.

So I responded with:
Obviously it is not true but I will speak to her about this.

I know B isn't pregnant. It's not like I am a mom to some teenage girl who is too naive to even suspect she's having a sexual relationship. B is never in a place or situation where sex is possible, furthermore I am pretty sure she has no idea about the actual "how to". But getting this email is upsetting.

Additionally about 2 years ago I found out she had told a girl in her gymnastics class who told her mom, who told me B said she was going to have a baby. I assumed this was due in part to B not understanding what that really meant and  to the recent addition of D to our family. At any rate we had a talk about it.

Now this. At first it's laughable. I mean, she's registered at Build-A-Bear? But the other side is the thought she is intentionally lying to get people to give her things. And what if this is just the only case brought to the teachers attention and she has told others about this? So now I have to have a lecture on lying, on how making up stories to get things is the same as stealing, and sex! Ugh.

I am not sure how to handle it. I told hubby what was going and asked what he thought I should do and he said:
Not much other than have a serious talk with her about it. For a 3rd grader this thing is not a big deal. It's hard with B because she is both a 3rd and 6th grader.

So for now I have to wait to bring it up this afternoon.

I'm going to start by asking where babies come from and see what she says and how much she knows and move on from there. But I seriously don't want to have this talk.