Wednesday, May 2, 2012

I win.

Today was... interesting if not completely infuriating.

Here's a little back story:

Generally I don't get up with the kids in the morning unless there is something going on (appointments or events and activities, etc.). Don't think I "sleep in" because I don't. I am up about an hour after they are. In fact the sound of them slamming the door is my alarm to get out of bed.

I'm not lazy... I'm just not a morning person and am super cranky in the early hours of day so I tend to be a grouch and nitpick at things or nag. So when I get up and see things James forgot to do or things out and messed up after I picked up before bed or the kids socks not being identically white or B's hair a bit frizzy after she already brushed it I tend nag and next thing you know the kids are rushing to get to school on time and James is late for work.  It's just honestly easier on everyone (especially with me staying up till midnight working on the website all the time) for them to get dressed and out the door and then for me to get up. That measly hour of extra bed time (and I say bed time because often once they are up I'm done sleeping) saves everyone from the "Morning Mommy Monster".

So my kids get up at 6am and my hubby has them get ready and they are gone by 7am at the latest. They dress themselves, after all they are 10 and 12. They also are supposed to get their own breakfast. I keep a big variety available for them. When there's time they can choose from cereal, oatmeal, grits, breakfast sandwiches, waffles, pancakes, toaster strudels, and microwave and toaster heatable things to cook up for breakfast. If they are in a rush there is a variety of cereal bars, fruits, pop tarts and things like that.  They even have special cups so if they have to take their milk or juice in the car with them.  

I'm up by 7, barely an hour after they get up. And since D sleeps till 8 it gives me a chance to wake up without being a pain in anyones ass. I get up grumpy, clean up the mess they made while getting ready and then do a few sun salutations (yoga) and am in a good mood.  It may not be the best system but it works perfectly for us.

So back to the point,

I dropped my toddler and sick son off at my grandmothers since I had a field trip to chaperon for B's school. B forgot breakfast so when I asked her if she ate she said no. My uncle overheard and when into a huge tirade about what a shitty mom I am. I'm a bad housewife. What kind of mother sends her kids off to school without a home cooked breakfast. I snorted when my grandmother even chimed in saying "I didn't cook you kids breakfast. You had cereal." His lame response, "Yeah! But we didn't make it ourselves!" he then looked at me and said "What are you teaching your kids?!?".

Ok. Let's break this down. This is a man who was a psuedo celebrity athlete at one point and for your typical reasons lost it all. He is twice divoroced with more then a couple kids (one from each marriage plus some). He is
. in his 40s and lives with his parents where he pays no rent. He borrows their car to go out. He has his mom cook his dinner and pack his lunch. And no, I'm not honestly sure if she makes his breakfast or not. He is bitter and lonely. He is ambitionless and unhappy. No wonder he has anger issues. But when you don't try to fix your situation who can you truly blame?

So in regards to his questions, "What are you teaching your kids?!?" I literally laughed out loud and said... "Some responsibility so they don't end up like you!".

He kept harping on and normally my mouth just goes off like a firecracker when I'm angry but seriously... I won. There is nothing he can say. He is a loser. He can call my parenting into question all he wants but let's call a spade a spade. No matter what he says about me I am not him so I win, period, end of discussion.

I cook, clean, volunteer, craft, tutor, run errands, work, and so much more... just like most moms. Do I think I'm special for all I do? Ok, sometimes but generally no. I do think that because of all I do, not waking up at 6 am to make a "home cooked meal" for the kids is perfectly fine. Besides they get that on the weekends! And even if they weren't...they are learning to be self sufficient!!! So maybe I'm giving them even more of a benefit then if I was up scrabbling eggs and frying bacon.

Point is... if you are going to be a judgmental asshole and start a fight about things you don't understand... don't be a loser because you can't win. And yes, if you come at me negative and quesiton my parenting or piss me off I will put you on blast on my blog. It's how I roll. So again... I win.