Tuesday, August 31, 2010

No flower, No Lovin'!

So hubby and I just celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary this week. We didn't do anything too crazy. Just dinner and a movie but when you have three kids that alone is a big event.

I did mention to him about 2 weeks ago that I can't even remember the last time he gave me flowers and I would really like him to get me some even if it is for no reason other then he thought about me. He decided that because I mentioned wanting flowers that he couldn't possibly get me some, especially for our anniversary, because then I would say he only did it because I said something.

Ok, let me get this straight... The one thing I tell you I would like, the one thing I have recently said would mean a lot to me you can't get me because I mentioned it? Seriously?!?!

So I told him that I would begin to treat my vagina the way he treats flowers. He may get it on special occasions but only if he doesn't bring it up first.

Why is it once a man (and not all men but the vast majority) get comfortable with a women they stop giving flowers unless they are in trouble or it's a special event and sometimes not even then? However a man expects his women to give it up. They want it ready and available when they want it, how they want it, where they want it. Of course I enjoy it but I don't need it all the time like he does.

Well from now on there will be no more "relations" until I get my damn flowers. What do I have to do to get some foliage, die? Surely he would have an arrangement sent to my funeral right? Well then that is when he will get some va-jay-jay... WHEN I AM DEAD!!! Unless of course he gets some before then. Hell, I'd even take a plastic fern. Then we will see.

Bette Midler understood the point of flowers. This joke of hers is one of my favorites:
I will never forget it you know. I was having tea one day with my Girlfriend Clementine, doorbell rang, answered the door and there was a delivery boy with two dozen roses. I grabbed the card, it said "Love, from your boyfriend Ernie" I said "Clementine, do you know what this means? For the next two weeks I'm gonna be flat on my back with my legs wide open."

Clemintine says to me "What's the matter, ain't you got a vase?"


  1. What a hysterical post! Great joke by Bette there.

    Just wanted to say thanks for stopping by on my big SITS day and leaving a comment. I appreciate it a lot!

    Your daughter looked adorable on her first day of school. Hope you figured out how to entertain the toddler with the older kids away. haha

  2. LMAO....this post is great! Bette Midler's joke is a riot! Love her!!! So true though, men just do not get it!