Sunday, July 18, 2010

Missing Melissa

I wasn't going to blog today because there is only one thing on my mind so I knew this would be about that.

One year ago today my sister Melissa died. She and her boyfriend, both of whom were in the Navy, were cruising along a highway in California on his motorcycle. Basically he swerved to get around someone in front of him with oncoming traffic in the other lane. Before he was able to get back into his own lane the back of the bike was clipped by a RV and Melissa was thrown from the bike and the RV ran over her. She was literally crushed and limbs were ripped off. Her boyfriend was fine.

Obviously the family was devastated. Some directed all the anger at the boyfriend. I didn't because even though I morn her death she was a grown woman and I am sure she knew what kind of driver he was and she made the choice to get on the bike. Plus I know she loved him and wouldn't want him blamed but his life is over anyway. He went AWOL, was criminally charged, etc.

I am filled with such sadness for our loss. I have so many regrets. I wish I had been better to her. I wasn't bad to her but she just took so long getting her life together that I didn't make an effort to be close to her figuring that there would be time once she matured. Well she did mature but then she was gone.

I remember when she called on Thanksgiving how I made the excuse that Mom really wanted to talk to her just so I could get off the phone and not have to listed no anymore of her stories of eating weird food in Iraq. I would give anything to hear her talk about Turkey Bacon again. I'd give anything just to hear her voice again.

She will never know how proud I was of her, how amazingly brave I thought she was for serving our country. She will never see her newest niece and D  will never know her other then in story.

I don't have much else to say except be careful on the roads. Drive safe. Be cautious because even if you are being safe others around you may not be. Don't speed, down rush to get through a yellow light, don't tailgate, don't swerve in and out of traffic. There is no place you need to get too that is worth your life.

And also, don't wait until tomorrow to do what you could do today. Don't assume there will be a tomorrow to let someone know how you feel. Regret can eat you up so do what you can to make it to each day without any following you from the last.

Melissa, you will be missed always and forever.


  1. Oh Steff... My heart goes out to you and the family that lost melissa! yes, it will never be the same but having her watch over you all is so much easier on her heart knowing she can guide and protect now more than ever!

    God grant me the serenity
    to accept the things I cannot change;
    courage to change the things I can;
    and wisdom to know the difference.

    Living one day at a time;
    Enjoying one moment at a time;
    Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;

    Trusting that He will make all things right
    if I surrender to His Will;
    That I may be reasonably happy in this life
    and supremely happy with Him
    Forever in the next.

    prayers for you today as you go on loving and cherishing your sister you never got to completely know.

  2. In my heart I believe Melissa's smiling down on you and does know how proud of her you are and how much you love and miss her. You have an angel watching you and your family which is so very special. I'm proud of you for not blaming her boyfriend and having the strength to share her story with the world.