Friday, July 30, 2010

You butt dial me and then talk bad about me? Nice.

So today was going ok until about 10 minutes ago.

I took the kids to the mall for a playdate. Walked around with one of my friends, had lunch. Then took D and A to my grandmothers while I went with B to the Neurologist. Got some good news there. Her MRI and EEG and blood work all came back negative! So we will be treating her symptoms. So to improve her focus we she will be taking meds for ADHD. I am excited to see if they help.

Then we came home. I am hanging out on when my phone rings. I answer and I hear my moms voice in the background. At first I thought she dropped her cell but then I realized she was in the middle of a conversation and I had been butt dialed.

I was hanging up when I heard her say "Did Steff talk to you about B?" so I know it was my grandmother on the other end.

I will spare you the details but the short and skinny of it is she and my grandmother think nothing is wrong with B really and if there is something wrong she will grow out of it. Apparently I am dragging her through all these doctor visits and tests because I am in her own words  "embarrassed by B".

Ok. So I enjoy my daughter falling further and further behind in school. I like her being mocked by her classmates for being different. It's fun trying to calm her down when she goes into one of her episodes. Oh and the fact that I get to throw money into the medical industry left and right... well that's a bonus!!!

Are you flippin kidding me. I am so angry I can't even cry. I don't want sympathy because I love B and I am in no way embarrassed by her. I am worried for her but thankful daily that I have her. How dare she imply otherwise!

So I sent her a text after I listened in. And yes I listened in I probably shouldn't have but i am petty and I wanted to hear what they were saying about me and B. The text was simple. It said: Next time you want to talk about me to anyone, even your mom, be sure your cell hasn't accidentally called me. FYI, I am not embarrassed by B, just you.

She hasn't responded at all. I am too old and worn out to fight with my own mother but when it comes to my kids or implications of me not caring or being ashamed of them... well I may not fight but I won't let it slide either. Funny because she said even worse things specifically about me but I do not now nor have I ever cared what people think of me... unless it comes to my parenting. It is the one thing I feel I am truly good at (not perfect but I do my best) and I will not have it mocked, slighted or put down.

Well if you read this much and you are interested in the outcome check back. If anything develops from this I will let you know. As for now I will sit and grumble and hopefully let my anger dissipate since I have vented.


  1. At that point...I would have done exactly what you did. A text, or an email...or even a phone call. I'm livid FOR you. RIDICULOUS! Maybe your family would like to adopt mine...because mine do the very same things.

    I deal with them sparingly at best.

  2. My mother talks bad about me all the time, I just got use to it. I know the truth and thats all that matters. And she knows and understands why she has limited contact with my kids. If it were my mom I would have just called her back and said "and that convo you just had with whomever is the reason you don't see my kids". I think you did pretty good. Because it would have been war if I heard my mother saying anything bad about me or my parenting.

  3. My mother and I have not always seen eye to eye (and that is putting it nicely). I was just starting to feel like she and I's relationship was in the realm of "healthy". I can't possibly go into everything she has done to me and I have been no angel myself over the years but I guess we weren't in the place I had thought we were emotionally (or hopefully).

  4. Stef, I know your mother and don't put any of it past her. She doesn't like me anymore than I like her. How very unfortunate for her to have butt-dialing as such a point. Remember to breathe and that people like her don't like to face their problems. They ignore them and pretend they don't exist so they can put forth the air of normalcy that they believe society expects. No one is perfect, I wish that I could be the super-mom I see you as. Love you my dear friend, don't let people's jealousies or insecurities bring you down.