This weekend I was pretty sick but I still drug my butt to A's football game. I'm not one of those crazy sports moms. But my view with sports or anything else in life is this:
Anything worth doing is worth doing to the best of your ability.
I have stressed this to the kids for years saying "You don't have to be the best, but you have to try your best". This emphasizes that you don't always have to win. It helps them realize the importance of doing your best for your team who is depending on you. It goes back to the saying "It's not whether you win or lose but how you play the game." Playing fair is important but knowing you did your best is vital.
When A walks off the field after a loss (which is every week since is team loses every time) we discuss the game and what he thought he did well and what he thinks he needs to improve. We don't blame the team for the loss because it is up to everyone to try their best. That means the players and coaches. If every single person does the best they can and your team still lost then you can't be upset. The other team was better and deserved the win. Why should you be mad if you walk off the field knowing you gave 100% the whole time? Who could ask for more? Unfortunately the players and coaches do not do their best every time. That is why I tell A he has to. He has to be the example and make not just us, but also himself proud with his effort.
With all that being said Saturday during the game a play was made. The opposing team got the ball and this little round kid took off for the end zone. A was running after him for the tackle and he was running as fast as he could when you saw his helmet turn to the right where he noticed a teammate running after the kid with the ball. It was very noticeable that A "gave up". When he saw the other kid was just as close as he was, if not closer he slowed it down to a jog.
Now some people may say he was tired but I know how my son looks when he is tired. He may slow down but his fists are still pumping with effort. In A 's case Saturday he just stopped trying. His fists unclenched and he quit trying!!! To both his father and I that was the moment he lost the game.
So when he got off the field after another loss and came over to us everyone gave him the "you can't win them alls" and "you'll do better next times" I bent down face to face with him and said "I will tell you one thing... If I ever see you give up when you are running again the only thing you will have to worry about is running from me."
He knew exactly what I was talking about and he said he was sorry and that was pretty much the end of it... except since grandparents joined us at the game they heard my comment to A . Now A and anyone who actually knows me knows that it was a benign comment made to prove the point. But Grandma got so upset. She stormed off while complaining and bitching about the comments I made.
As normal I am sorry if something I did upset anyone but I am not sorry about what I said. I said it because I meant it. I know that between that Grandma may have been overly upset due to her not feeling good and sitting in the heat but he's my son and I will say what I want to him. She is entitled to her opinion and has every right in the world to disagree with me I just don't like the display she made of it in front of the kids but if she thought her reaction was appropriate then she had a right to it just like I had a right to my comments.
I try not to be too hard on the kids with competitions but being the daughter of a coach and having coached myself for years I treated A just like I would have any other kid on my team. The biggest difference was he rode home in my car and we left the game at the field and laughed and joked the whole way home with him knowing that next time he will try his best.... or be ready to run from momma! LOL.
Oh, and here is my hunky little man in uniform: