It's not like I didn't expect this. I always look at Summer as this exciting chance to really do something. Sometimes it's getting things I want to get done finished, sometimes it's doing all these new and fun things with the kids. I think a lot of people feel the same way.
The approach of summer is so closely tied to our own adolescent anticipation for vacation that we don't always outgrow it. I get it, after about 18 years of conditioning ourselves to look forward to summer as the end all of the year, the chance to let lose and have a ball, it's hard to look at the three month span as what it is... and what it is is pretty much no different from the rest of the year except I get worn out faster during these three months than I do for the other nine.
We don't do a vacation, but I still make all these plans and have all these hopes for this amazing time with the kids but come the fall I can't wait to send them back to school. Plus to be honest, I miss my time alone with D. It's so sad my toddler is like my best friend but other then my hubby she has the personality closest to mine. We fight, and argue and hug and make up. But even though she wears me out, I miss the me and her time.
Don't get me wrong, I love having the kids around 24/7 but it's like what they say about having too much of a good thing. The first couple weeks are action packed fun but now I'm beat! A's already staying with his mom so I already miss him but it has helped me adjust to how things will be during the school year. I guess it was better he went home a few weeks early rather then right before school. I imagine with him going back to the other mothers house and B being gone at school all day I may have gotten a case of "empty nest blues" but since it's all happening gradually I'm pretty good with it.
Besides B is exhausting. People just have no clue. I sometimes wish I could video tape our day so when people ask "Why are you so stressed" or "What could she be doing that's so difficult" I could just play them a snippet of my day. Like yesterday when she put her hands in the toilet (don't even ask) or when I told her not to use a particular perfume because when she puts it on it makes me sick with asthma and hives so she gives it to D to spray because she thinks that it won't have the same effect since I only told her "when you spray it I get sick". I can almost see the confusion but after so many occurrences each day it's tough so it will be nice to have a teacher bear some of that burden during the day. Plus I'll miss her not being around so when I'll be more tolerant and not so short fused.
Basically I'm over summer. I know I said I was excited for it but I also said I'd probably change my tune shortly into the vacation so you can't fault me, I was being honest. Now I can't wait for school to start... but give it a week or so and I'll miss having all the kids all day I'll be counting down to winter break. And the cycle will continue....