I can't tell you why I decided today would be the day. I have been wanting to drop this bomb for a while now and these last few days the urge has come to a head. I think it's in part because B is in middle school and actually hangs out with High School kids now at her new school. Don't get me wrong, I am in no way saying that me being over the whole sneaking around my house in the middle of the night to hide or set up gifts and stuff had nothing to do with it. I still have to put up with the charade for D but since A who is 10 figured it out 4 years ago I figured B at 12 was due some truth.
I had thought about video taping the talk but knowing that I wouldn't be able to resist posting it for the world to see I decided against it. This afternoon I sat her down and told her there was no such thing as Santa. I'll be honest, I thought she may have had an inkling about this but she didn't. She was shocked. It wasn't as amusing as I thought it might be and thankfully she didn't cry or anything too dramatic. She did however want details about who ate the cookies, how the gifts got there and why the heck we fed non existent reindeer every Christmas eve.
After she called the Santa thing a "sick joke" I asked if she liked seeing him at the mall, writing letters and thinking he was real. She said yes and I told her that is why parents do it. It's not a joke or a way to make fun of the kids but it makes the Holidays even more magical. Once she understood that I went ahead and did the big reveal on the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairy. She again was confused and wanted to know all the hows and whys.
I explained I was telling her now because I didn't want her to find out in a way that was hurtful, like a friend or classmate telling her and picking on her for believing or finding it out in a movie and thinking we lied to her for 12 years. I also added that she can help keep Santa and the rest of the imaginary crew alive for her sister and even though she knows the truth she should keep it to herself.
All in all it went very well. But now I feel like crap. Maybe I should have let her believe for a while longer. I mean she's only at a 7 year maturity level so would it have hurt to keep the secret for a few more years? But what if she found out at school? Would that be worse? And today seemed like a good day for it. Every other time I considered telling her it was around a holiday or she was losing a tooth and how much would that suck? Yeah, I know you just colored Easter Eggs but... Or Thanks for the letter to Santa, by the way I save them since he doesn't exist... About that tooth under your pillow, well just go ahead and hand it to me. So since no major event was going on that could traumatize her I spilled the beans. It's sad, I feel like she lost a small piece of childhood but it had to be done at some point right? And though I feel like crap I guess I'm glad it's over with now. It's not like I am off the hook from all of it since D is only 2. I will have to go through the motions for years to come but maybe it won't be so bad with B to help now. (And A can stop laughing at her finally.)