Saturday, May 7, 2011

I'm scared of Mothers Day

It's late and I'm up posting on here because I am worried about Mothers Day tomorrow. It will start off with eating breakfast with my grandmother and dad and some relatives who are very close to other relatives that I hate. After breakfast we will take a road trip.  My husband started this tradition where every Mothers Day he takes me and the family to some shopping center that is usually an hour away or more and we window shop, pick me out a designer bag (the only one I get for the year) and then have lunch at what we hope is some place new before driving a hour home.

Normally I'm excited for this but this year I'm just not up for much. For starters I won't have my son. I realize being the step mom I don't have rights on Mothers Day but it still upsets the hell out of me. Also the idea of waking up at the ass crack of dawn to eat in a crowded restaurant on one of the most crowded days and try to make nice with people all the while not gagging or making rude comments when some one I hates name is brought up makes me cringe. Then with an hour drive with a toddler who is not the best at road trips, a shopping adventure with my oldest who is bound to do something to upset me or her father and an inevitable tantrum from the toddler I am worried.

Mothers Day was once my favorite holiday  but I am looking towards this one with fear. B  just keeps doing things she shouldn't do and getting into trouble and D  is so willful that if she doesn't get her way you can never tell what her reaction will be. The hubster wants tomorrow to be good. Hell, no one wants tomorrow to be good more then me so I just hope this feeling I have in the pit of my stomach that tomorrow will be terrible and end in tears is wrong.

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