Wednesday, April 6, 2011


Mothers are so terrible. They just judge one another non stop. Even when they think they don't they do. They are always sizing their kids up against other kids. Looking and critiquing the parenting styles of other moms.

Since when did one of the key things that unit us become a way to divide us? Ever since it stopped taking a village to raise a child if you ask me. The group parenting dynamic is a thing of the past. When I was younger if I did something wrong I knew my parents or grandmother would hear about it from the neighbors. And when my parents were young, if they did something wrong up the street they would get an ass woopen from every persons house on the way home. Because then people in general were friendlier and knew their neighbors and also people believed we were all responsible for raising a child... even when the child wasn't ours.

Now though, if you even ask another child to stop running in the toddler play area you have a high chance that that mom will come at you screaming "HOW DARE YOU SPEAK TO MY CHILD LIKE THAT!!!". Yes this exact thing has happened to me and yes I was more then happy to let her know that she should have said something herself. Of course she didn't see it that way and a heated argument ensued and let's just say I have a mighty feisty mouth on me... but that's besides the point.

Long gone are the days where we were united in motherhood and now it seems like there is this "Every Mom For Themselves" approach to raising children. Thus we introduce Mompetitions. This is the way we compete with other moms. Your kid's 10 and a good dancer? Well mine is 3 and moving up in gymnastics. Your son is in gifted? Well mine could be but I wouldn't want to do that to him since there are so many drawbacks. GET OVER IT!

My friends don't do this (often), I think it's because as a group we all feel responsible for each others kids and we don't need to compete but we do disagree on parenting styles pretty often. Our little clique is our personal child raising village. But I know plenty of moms who compete and judge other moms. I have done it to other moms. And Lord knows countless moms have done it to me.

Just yesterday a friend of mine was babysitting and I couldn't help but to comment on how rude the kids she was sitting for were. Have they ever even heard of the phrases "Please", "Thank you", or God forbid try to use "Excuse me" prior to screaming at an adult who's mid conversation?!?! What kind of parent allows their kids to behave like that? And when the kids wanted sodas and then demanded ice cream that was promised to them my friend gave in saying "Well I did say they could have ice cream" I told her flat out "Who cares? Your the adult and you make the rules."

I just don't get the giving in. In my parenting book next to whining you will see the definition: A forfeiture of any and all privileges regardless of what may have been previously promised! But not in hers. Does that make her a bad parent? No, but it does mean she's writing her own parenting book and it's obviously different from mine. Rather then punishing whining she is choosing to show value to a promise. Not my style but definitely something worthwhile to learn.

So while we judge and compete, which lets face it... will never stop, let's at least take a minute to try to understand each other. Maybe our parenting styles are as unique as our children but we all want what's best for our kids regardless of how we go about trying to accomplish it and for that we should love and support each other in the task of motherhood. Now get off the computer and go take care of your kids!

1 comment:

  1. What a neat post! Looking forward for more post from you. Thank you for sharing!