Knit a Dick

I'm the very first to admit that I'm a little left of center. I tend to have a crude sense of humor and that humor often ventures over to "the dark side". So when I found a new knitting pattern for a cock n balls... well I got a small thrill. Not in a sexual way of course but in a mischievous "can't wait to whip this out at the stitch n bitch meet up" kind of way.

Here is what the pattern makes. Click on the photo to get a download of the pattern. 

Not only can I knit myself a penis... but I have a variety of sizes to choose from! And best of all the pattern was free.And it includes handy tips on how to make the balls feel more realistic! And after all, if the balls don't feel realistic what's the point? I may add a pipe cleaner to the middle of my shaft that way I can pose it!  I plan to knit up a batch of these and leave them in friends purses, on restaurant tables and various other places just to share the fun.

Now if a free standing shalong isn't your thing you can add one to your favorite stuffed animal or make a full x-rated teddy bear.

What a fun way to start that awkward anatomy conversation you have been trying to have with your kid. And if you are in the market for the perfect baby shower gift... You've got it!!! Wait till junior starts sucking on that! If only they had a matching vagina.

Crreeeeeepppppyyyy!